



- ^3 














PRESENTED Wi 



tknickerbockec IRu^geta 



Nugget — "A diminutive mass of precious metal. 



37 VOLUMES NOW READY. 
For full list see end of this volume. 



IVhist Nuggets 



BEING CERTAIN 



WHISTOGRAPHS 



HISTORICAL, CRITICAL, AND HUMOROUS 



Selected and Arranged 
by 

WILLIAM G, McGUCKIN 




NEW YORK AND LONDON 

C. P. PUTNAM'S SONS 
'^^z TRnfcfeerbocfter ipress 



GrV\^77 



Electrotyped, Printed, and Bound by 

'^hz Ifinicfeerbocftet press, Iflcw Jgorft 

G. P. Putnam's Sons 






M_ 



CONTENTS. 



PAGE 

Introductory vii 

MODERN WHIST I 

London Quarterly Review, January, 1871 

WHIST AND WHIST-PI,AYE:rS .... 33 
Abraham Hay ward, in Eraser's Mag- 
azine, April, 1869 

TH^ THIRTY-NIN:^ ARTICI,E:S of whist . 112 
Richard Irving Dunbar 

RHYMING RUIvE:S, MNEMONIC MAXIMS, AND 

POCKET PRKCKPTS 120 

William Pole 

THK DUFFi^R'S WHIST MAXIMS . . . .123 
Cavendish's Card Essays 

WHIST, OR BUMBIvKPUPPY 

On Things in General 130 

Practice of Bumblepuppy . . , .132 

Thinking 144 

The Domestic Rubber 150 

IVhist, or Bumblepuppy ? by "Pembridge." 
—Roberts Bros. 

iii 



iv Contcnt0 



PAGE 

CARDS SPIRITUAI.IZED 153 

Anon. 

MRS. BATTI^K'S OPINIONS ON WHIST . . 158 

Charles I^amb 

IvADlKS' WHIST 173 

The Spectator, 1890 

WHISTOI.OGY 183 

All the Year Round, March 17, 
i860 

WHIST AT OUR CI.UB 203 

Blackwood's Magazine, May, 1877 

A HAND AT CARDS 230 

American Whist Illustrated, by G. W. P. 
— Houghton, Mifflin, & Co., 1890 

A WHIST PARTY ' 238 

The Tailor-Made Girl, by Philip H. 
Welch— Chas. Scribner's Sons, 1888 

AT BOVOR— PI,AY A GRKAT GAM:^ OF WHIST 244 
Happy Thoughts, by F. C. Burnand — 
Roberts Bros. 

GOSSIP : 

I. ^Edward Kverett at the Court of 

St. James 266 

Geo. Wm. Curtis in "Editor's Easy 
Chair." Harper's Monthly Maga- 
zine, May 1876 

II. Metterjstich's Whist . . . .271 

Chamber's Journal, February 28, 1863 
ni. lyORD I^ytton as a Whist-Player . 274 
Serjeant Ballan tine's Experiences of a 
Barrister's Life, 



Contente 



PAGE 

IV. Some Literary Recollections . . 276 
James Payn. Harper & Bros. 1871 

V. Anecdotes 281 

Cavendish's Card-Table Talk 
VI. Advantage of Skill at Whist . . 284 
Cavendish's Card-Table Talk 

SOME WHIST CHAT 289 

R. A. Vroctox-- Longman's Magazine 





INTRODUCTORY. 

IN presenting to the reader this little heap of 
Whist Nuggets, the Collector begs to inter- 
pose a word of introduction — to explain the 
purpose that has guided their selection, and to 
express his appreciation of the courtesy of the 
proprietors on whose lands they have been 
picked up. 

The Editor has not had in mind the compila- 
tion of a text-book on the principles of the noble 
game. Nevertheless it is hoped that the student 
of the scientific side of whist will find much to 
interest him in the first three numbers. Where 
the first two pass from the history of primitive 
whist to a discussion of the latest development 
of play, they will be found already somewhat 
old-fashioned, although hardly more than 



ITntro^uctors 



twenty years have passed since they were writ- 
ten. What may be called the body of the game, 
however, remains substantially what Hoyle and 
Mathews developed, as is made plain by a com- 
parison with the Thirty-nine Articles of Whist, 
the third number, which the courtesy of Mr. 
Richard Irving Dunbar, one of the most accom- 
plished whist-players in Gotham, enables the 
Editor to include, and which is a codification 
of the rules of whist as played by Mr. Trist, of 
New Orleans, a player from whom the master, 
Cavendish himself, has not been ashamed to 
learn. 

No collection of whistographs would be com- 
plete which did not include one from the inim- 
itable author of Bumblepuppy ; and, by the 
courtesy of '' Pembridge " and of his publishers 
in the old world and in the new, the assiduous 
bumblepuppist will find here all the conso- 
lation of which he or she has never felt the 
need. 

To the lovers of fun, whether whist-players 
or occasional bumblepuppists, the Editor confi- 
dently recommends the great game at Bovor, 



IfntroDuctor^ 



as described by Mr. Burnand, in his Happy 
Thoughts ; and to the courteous editor of Punch 
and his publishers this Editor's thanks are 
rendered. 

The quiet English humor of Whist at Our 
Club offers a striking contrast to the pungent wit 
of the extract from Philip H. Welch's Tailor 
Made Girl, included by the kind permission of 
Messrs. Charles Scribner's Sons, as well as to 
that of a Hand at Cards, taken from G. W. P.'s 
American Whist Illustrated, with the author's 
permission and that of Messrs. Houghton, 
Mifflin & Co. 

To all these, as well as to Mr. George 
William Curtis and the Messrs. Harper & 
Brothers, the Editor gives due and grateful 
credit elsewhere. 

After the manner of his mightier brethren, 
the Editor, as whist-player and whist-lover, dis- 
claims all responsibility for the opinions here- 
inafter set forth ; and his desire not to abate one 
jot or tittle of an author's right to ungarbled 
citation must be his apology to his gracious 
reader for the repetitions that will be discovered. 



IFntroDuctor^ 



as well as for the appearance and reappearance 
of that castafieous relic, Talleyrand's remark 
anent the sadness of a whistless old age. 

The cards are cut and dealt. 

Mesdames et messieurs^ faites voire jeu. 




WHIST NUGGETS. 

MODERN WHIST. 

nPHB game of whist, after two centuries of 
* elaboration, has now become a favorite 
amusement in all ranks of society, and especially 
with persons of great intelligence and ability. 
Numerous societies have been established ex- 
pressly for its practice, and at many of the 
West Knd clubs it is played daily, particularly 
in the afternoon, when the mental faculties are 
more active than in the evening. At these 
little gatherings may be seen men of high rank, 
sitting at the same tables with others eminent 
in literature, science, art, or the public service 
— all testifying, by the earnestness with which 
I 



mbl0t nmgcte 



their attention is fixed on the game, to its great 
intellectual attractions. In the best private 
circles, too, and in domestic society generally, 
its high character is becoming better appre- 
ciated, although the style of play is still far 
from what it ought to be. 

Whist is of E^nglish origin, but its popularity 
is not confined to this country. On the Con- 
tinent it has become fully naturalized ; the 
finest player that ever lived was a Frenchman, 
and the most elaborate works on whist are by 
foreign authors. It has, in fact, extended over 
the whole earth ; there is not a spot where 
European civilization prevails, where whist is 
not practised and prized. A published collec- 
tion of Whist Studies dates from the tropics ; 
in the rigor of the North American winter whist 
forms the occupation of the frozen-up inhab- 
itants for months together ; and in the wilds of 
Australia the farmers play at whist for ''sheep 
points, with a bullock on the rubber." 

We need not hesitate to give a place in our 
pages to an intellectual occupation of such high 
and universal interest ; and we propose, first, 



fllbo^ern imbiet 



to offer a concise history of the game; next, to 
describe the chief characteristics of its most 
modern and improved form ; and, lastly, to add 
a few remarks on whist playing. 

The early history of whist is involved in some 
obscurity. It is not to be supposed that a game 
of this high character should have sprung at 
once perfect into being ; it has been formed, by 
gradual development from elements previously 
existing. As early as the beginning of the six- 
teenth century a card-game was in common use, 
of which both the name and the chief feature 
enter prominently into the construction of 
whist. This was called triumph — corrupted 
into trump — and the essence of it was the pre- 
dominance of one particular suit, called the 
triumph or trump-suit, over all the others. It 
was of Continental origin, like most of the card 
games in use at that period. A work published 
in Italy in 1526 speaks of it under the name of 
Trionfi^ and it is mentioned by Rabelais as la 
Triumphe, among the games played by Gargan- 
tua. From France it was imported into Eng- 
land, where it soon became popular in good 



mblat Iftuggets 



society, as we find a reference to it in a quarter 
where it would hardly be looked for, namely, in 
a sermon preached by Latimer at Cambridge 
the Sunday before Christmas, 1529. He men- 
tions the game under its corrupted as well as 
its original appellation, and clearly alludes to 
its characteristic feature, as the following 
extracts will show : 

*' And where you are wont to celebrate Christmass in 
playing at cards, I intend by God's grace to deal unto 
you Christ's Cards, wherein you shall perceive Christ's 
Rule. The game that we play at shall be called the 
Triumph, which, if it be well played at, he that dealeth 
shall win ; the Players shall likewise win ; and the 
standers and lookers upon shall do the same. 

:!: ^ H: H: :{: :}: 

"You must mark also that the Triumph must apply 
to fetch home unto him all the other cards, whatever 
suit they be of. 

****** 

" Then further we must say to ourselves, What requir- 
eth Christ of a Christian man ? Now turn up your 
Trump, your Heart (Hearts is Trump, as I said before), 
and cast your Trump, your Heart, on this card." 

Other references to this game are found at a 
later period ; we need only mention two. In 
Gammer Gurton's Needle^ said to be the first 
piece performed in England under the name of 



/llboDern 'MbiBt 



a comedy, and writteu by Bishop Still soon 

after the middle of the sixteenth century, 

occurs this passage : 

" Chat. What, Diccon ? come nere, ye be no stranger : 
We be set fast at trump, man, hard by the fyre. 
Thou shalt set on the king, if thou come a little 

nyer. 
* * t- * * ♦ 

Come hither, Dol ; Dol, sit downe and play this 

game, 
And, as thou sawest me do, see thou do even 

the same : 
There is five trumps besides the queene, the 

hindmost thou shalt find her ; 
Take hede of Sim Glover's wife, she hath an 

eie behind her." 

Another reference is by Shakespeare. In 
Antony and Cleopatra^ act iv., scene 12. An- 
tony says : 

" My good knave, Kros, now thy Captain is 
E)ven such a body : here I am Antony ; 
Yet cannot hold this visible shape, my knave. 
I made these wars for Bgypt ; and the Queen,— 
Whose heart I thought I had, for she had mine ; 
Which, whilst it was mine, had annex'd unto 't 
A million more, now lost,— she, Eros, has 
Pack'd cards with Caesar, and false played my glory 
Unto an enemy's triumph.^' 

This passage has been the subject of several 
comments ; but the repeated allusions to card- 



mbi0t muQ^ete 



playing leave no doubt as to the reference in 
the last word. 

The game of Triumph appears to have been 
played in several different ways, some of which 
resembled our present E carte ; they had, how- 
ever, little similarity to whist, except in the 
feature of the predominance of the trump-suit, 
which was common to them all. 

About the beginning of the seventeenth cen- 
tury the game had acquired in Bngland another 
name, which is also preserved in whist, namely 
Ruffe. It has often excited curiosity how the 
word for an ornament to the neck or wrists 
should have come to be used for this purpose ; 
but it is possible it may have been only another 
corruption of the original French triomphe, as 
there is much similarity in the sounds. At any 
rate the terms were synonymous, as Cotgrave, 
in his Fre7ich and English Dictionary ^ 1611, 
explains the French word triomphe to mean 
"the card-game called ruffe or trump" ; and 
Nares in his Glossary says '' ruff meant a trump 
card, charta dominatrixy 

But contemporaneously with this change, 



/iRoDern IKIlblet 



the game itself had also undergone, in Eng- 
land, some modifications which caused it to 
differ materially from the original foreign type, 
and among these was the attachment of certain 
advantages, or ''honors," to the four highest 
cards of the trump-suit. This was probably 
of itself an ancient invention, for we find a 
game called *' Les Honeurs " in Rabelais' list; 
but the importation of it into trump, or ruff, 
gave the game a new character, and it took the 
name of *'Ruff-and-honors," the original form 
being called '' French ruff " for distinction. 

Ruff-and-honors was played with a pack 
of fifty-two cards, the ace ranking the highest. 
There were four players, two being partners 
against the other two, and each received twelve 
cards ; the remaining four were left as a stock 
on the table, and the top one was turned up to 
determine the trump-suit. The player who 
happened to hold the ace of trumps had the 
privilege of taking the stock in exchange for 
four cards of his own, an operation called 
ruffing. The score was nine, and the partners 
that won most tricks were ''most forward to 



8 mbi0t mu^^eta 

win the set." Three honors in the joint hands 

were reckoned equivalent to two tricks, and four 

honors to four. This came very near to whist, 

and was, in fact, whist in an imperfect form. 

The further changes in the constitution of 

the game, and the radical alteration of the 

name, appear to have taken place early in the 

seventeenth century. The first form of the new 

designation was Whisk, a word which occurs in 

Taylor's Motto, by Taylor, the Water Poet, 

published in 1621. Speaking of the prodigal, 

he says : 

" He flings his money free witli carelessnesse, 
At novum, mumchance, mischance (chuse ye which), 
At one-and-thirty, or at poore-and-rich, 
Rufie, slam, trump, nody, whisk, hole, sant, new cut." 

The origin of the word is obscure ; but, in 

default of a better explanation, it has been 

suggested that it was used by the common 

people as a synonym for ruffy in ridicule of the 

affectations of the gallants who played at the 

game. The article of dress in fashion under 

the latter name at the time is described as 

"g^eat and monsterous, made either of cambric, hol- 
land, lawne, or els of some other the finest cloth that 



/iRoDern mbiet 



can be got for money, whereof some be a quarter of a 
yard deepe, yea some more, hanging over their shoulder- 
points, instead of a vaile. But if ^olus with his blasts, 
or Neptune with his storms, chaunce to hit upon the 
crasie barke of their bruised ruffles, then they goeth 
flip-flap in the winde, like ragges that flew abroad, lying 
on their shoulders like the disheclout of a slut." 

This sort of thing might well be ridiculed as 
a whisky which not only meant '' a small besom 
or brush,'* but also referred to an article of 
dress : 

" Their wrinkled necks were covered o'er 
With whisks of lawn, by grannums wore 
In base contempt of bishops' sleeves." 

Thirty or forty years after Taylor's mention 
of the word, as applied to the game, it had be- 
come changed to its present form, the earliest 
known use of which is quoted by Johnson from 
the second part of Hudibras (spurious), pub- 
lished in 1663 : 

" But what was this ? A game at Whist, 
Unto our Plowden-Canonist." 

In 1674 we find a published description of the 
game in a curious book, ascribed to Charles 
Cotton the poet, and entitled The Compleat 



mbiet ViuQQcte 



Gamester; or Instructions how to play at Bil- 
liards, Trucks, Bowls, and Chess; together 
with all manner of usual and most gentile 
Games, either on Cards or Dice.'^ In this book 
a chapter is devoted to ' ' English RufF-and- 
Honors and Whist," and it contains the fol- 
lowing passage : 

" Ruff-and-honoiirs {alias slamm) and Whist, are games 
so corntnonly known in England, in all parts thereof, 
that every child almost of eight years old hath a compe- 
tent knowledge in that recreation." 

After describing rufif-and-honors the author 
says, ** Whist is a game not much differing 
from this." The ruffing privilege was abol- 
ished ; each player still had twelve cards, but, 
instead of leaving an unknown stock on the 

* The frontispiece to this book represents various 
games being played, and is accompanied by a punning 
description of them in verse. One figure shows a game 
at whist, in which ladies take part, and the rhyme says : 

' ' Lastly observe the women with what grace 
They sit and look their partners in the face, 
Who from their eyes shoot Cupid's fiery darts, 
Thus make them lose at once their game and hearts. 



I^adies don't trust your secrets in that hand 

Who can't their own (to their own grief) command, 

For this, I will assure you, if you do, 

In time you '11 lose your Ruflf and Honour too." 



/IRoDern Wibiet 



table, the four deuces were discarded from the 
pack before dealing ; a great step in advance, 
as it enabled the players to calculate with more 
certainty the contents of each other's hands. 
The score was still nine, tricks and honors 
counting as before. 

Cotton never uses or alludes to the earlier 
name " zvktsk,'^ but he gives an independent 
derivation of the newer word. He says the 
game 

" is called whist from the silence that is to be observed 
in the play. ' ' 

This meaning is warranted by the custom of 
the time. The word, although treated as a verb, 
adjective, or participle by Shakespeare, Milton, 
Spenser, and others, is defined by Skinner 
(1671), one of the best authorities, as interjectio 
silentium imperans ; and so it was commonly 
used. In an old play, written by Dekkar in 
1604, we find the example : 

"Whist ! whist ! my master." 

Cotton's derivation of the present name has 
been adopted by Johnson and Nares, and has 



12 TObiet muggete 



always been most commonly received ; but it 
must not be forgotten that the word " zvhisk " 
is the older of the two, and that it continued in 
use, along with the other name, for a century 
after Cotton wrote. Pope, in his epistle to Mrs. 
Teresa Blount, 17 15, says : 

** Some squire, perhaps, you take delight to rack, 
Whose game is Whisk, whose treat a toast in sack." 

Johnson describes whist as "vulgarly pro- 
nounced whisk " ; and the Hon. Daines Barring- 
ton, writing, in 1786, on games at cards, adopts 
the later orthography without any qualifica- 
tion. 

It is possible to reconcile the two derivations 
by supposing that, when the game took its 
complete form, the more intellectual character 
it assumed demanded greater care and closer 
attention in the play ; this was incompatible 
with noise in the room or with conversation be- 
tween the players, and hence the word ^^ whist /^^ 
may have been used in its interjectional form 
to insist on the necessary silence ; and from the 
similarity of this to the term already in use the 
modification in the last letter may have taken 



/llboDem limbiet 13 

its rise. It is worthy of remark, that in a 
fashionable book on Ombre, published in Berlin 
in 1 7 14, the writer, who had probably never 
heard of the English game, says : " Pour bien 
jouer V ombre, il faut du silence et de la tran- 
quillity 

But, whatever may be the views held in this 
country as to the origin of the name of our 
national card-game, it is only fair to our in- 
genious neighbors across the Channel to give 
their explanation, which we find in a French 
work on whist : 

** At a time when French was the current language in 
l^ngland, the people had become so infatuated with one 
of their games at cards, that it was prohibited after a 
certain hour. But parties met clandestinely to practise 
it ; and when the question " Voulez-vous jouer f^^ was 
answered by '' Oui ! " the master of the room added the 
interjection "5if/ " to impose silence. This occurred so 
often that " Oui-st " became at length the current appel- 
lation of the game ! ' ' 

With these names there came to be associated 
another of a very strange character, namely 
^*' swabbers'''' or ^^ swobbers.^^ Fielding, for ex- 
ample, in the account of Jonathan Wild's visit 
to the sponging-house in lyondon, in 1682, says, 



14 IGlblet muggets 



"whisk and swabbers was the game then in 
the chief vogue." Swift, in his Essay on the 
Fates of Clergymen, ridicules Archbishop Ten- 
ison, who was said to be a dull man, for misun- 
derstanding the term. He relates a well-known 
story of a clergyman, who was recommended 
to the Archbishop for preferment, when his 
Grace said, " He had heard that the clergyman 
used to play at whist and swobbers ; that as to 
playing now and then a sober game at whist 
for pastime, it might be pardoned ; but he could 
not digest those wicked swobbers ^ "It was 
with some pains," adds the Dean, "that my 
Lord Somers could undeceive him." Johnson 
quotes the pretended speech of the Archbishop, 
and defines szvabbers as ' * four privileged cards, 
which are only incidentally used for betting at 
whist." These were probably identical with 
the four honors ; and it has been conjectured 
that as " whisk " was intended to ridicule "r/^^" 
the analogous term ^^ swabbers'''' (from swab, 
a kind of mop) may have been added to supply 
the place of the other part of the original name ; 
so that ' ' whisk and swabbers ' ' was made the vul- 



/iftoDern Mbtet 15 

gar synonym for the " ruff and honors " of the 
fashionable world. But, however this may be, 
the additional term was of limited application, 
and soon went out of use. 

It is curious that although the precursors of 
whist had enjoyed favor in high places, yet 
whist itself, in its infancy, was chiefly played 
in low society, where cheats and sharpers as- 
sembled. The greatest part of Cotton's chap- 
ter is devoted to a warning against the tricks 
and frauds of these gentry. He alludes to the 
**arts used in dealing," and shows how, by in- 
genious devices, ** cunning fellows about this 
city may not only know all the cards by their 
backs, but may turn up honors for themselves, 
and avoid doing so for their adversaries." The 
following passage gives some significant hints : 

'* He that can by craft overlook his adversaries' game 
hath a great advantage, for by that means he may partly 
know what to play securely. There is a way to discover 
to their partners what honours they have ; as by the 
wink of one eye, or putting one finger on the nose or 
table, it signifies one honour ; shutting both the eyes, 
two ; placing three fingers or four on the table, three or 
four honours." 

In a republication of Cotton's work in 1734, 



i6 mbi6t nnggctB 

these cautions are amplified, showing that whist 
still retained the same low character. The 
editor says, "as whisk [he uses the old appella- 
tion] is a tavern game, the sharpers generally 
take care to put about the bottle before the 
game begins." A special chapter is given to 
''piping at whisk"; and as this is an accom- 
plishment not generally known at the modern 
clubs, the following extract may be inter- 
esting : 

" By piping I mean when one of the company that 
does not play (which frequently happens), sits down in 
a convenient place to smoke a pipe and so look on, pre- 
tending to amuse himself that way. Now the disposing 
of his fingers on the pipe, while smoking, discovers the 
principal cards that are in the person's hand he over- 
looks, which was always esteemed a suiBBcient advantage 
to win a game. This may also be done by another way, 
I.e. , without the pipe, and by common conversation. * In- 
deed,' signifies diamonds; 'truly,' hearts; 'upon my 
word,' clubs ; * I assure you,' spades." * 

It is only fair to add, that with the bane the 
editor supplies also the antidote. He says, 

* " There are several other bare-faced practices made 
use of, such as looking over hands, changing cards under 
the table, and often from off the table ; but these are 
generally made use of by women, who, when detected, 
laugh it off, without any sense of shame or dishonour," — 
Annals of Gaming. 



/llboDern Timbiet 17 



^^ For which reasons^ all nice gamesters play 
behind curtains y 

There is other evidence of the low character 
of whist. In Farquhar's comedy of the Beaux'' s 
Stratagem^ 1707, Mrs. Sullen speaks of ''the 
rural accomplishment of drinking fat ale, play- 
ing at whisk, and smoaking tobacco with my 
husband." Fielding and Pope, as we have seen, 
both speak of it disparagingly ; and Thomson, 
in his Autumn (1730), describes how, after a 
heavy hunt dinner, 

*' Whist awhile 
Walks his dull round beneath a cloud of smoke 
Wreath'd fragant from the pipe." 

This being, he adds, one of the ** puling idle- 
nesses" introduced to cheat the thirsty mo- 
ments until the party 

" Close in firm circle, and set, ardent, in, 
For serious drinking. ' ' 

In the early part of the eighteenth century 
there was a mania for card-playing in all parts 
of Europe and in all classes of society, but in 
the best circles whist was still unknown. Gen- 
tlemen in their gaming coteries chiefly prac- 
3 



i8 mbi6t IRug^ete 



tised piquet (a very old game, invented in 
France in the fifteenth century), and in ladies' 
society the most fashionable amusement was 
Ombre, immortalized by Pope's Rape of the 
Lock (1712), in a manner strongly contrasted 
with his disparaging mention of whist a year 
or two later. 

It was about 1730 when the new game rose 
out of its obscurity and took rapidly the rank 
due to its great merits. At that time the ordi- 
naries, where gambling had been long carried 
on to an enormous extent, and with the most 
scandalous abuses, began to be superseded 
by the more intellectual meetings at taverns 
and coffee-houses, which figure so prominently 
in the literary annals of the last century. It 
happened that a party of gentlemen who fre- 
quented the Crown coffee-house in Bedford Row, 
and of whom the first Lord Folkstone was one, 
had become acquainted with the game, and 
practised it at their meetings. They soon found 
out it had merits, studied it carefully, and ar- 
rived, for the first time, at some fundamental 
rules of play. 



/BboDem OTbiet 19 



The way having been thus prepared, there 
was wanting a man of genius who should 
further work out the elements of the game, and 
mould it into a permanent, logical, scientific 
form. This man appeared in the person of 
Bdmond Hoyi,e. There is very little trust- 
woiihy information as to his antecedents. He 
was born in 1672 : it is said he studied as a bar- 
rister, and he styles himself in his first book '' a 
gentleman." It is clear he was a man of good 
education, and moved in good society ; probably 
he was one of the party that met at the Crown. 

It appears that he had studied whist for many 
years ; and he saw, not only that it had great 
capabilities, but that it was much debased by 
the use made of it by sharpers for cheating inex- 
perienced players out of their money. He 
believed that it was in his power to guard the 
public against these unprincipled practices, as 
well as to excite a more legitimate interest in 
the game, by spreading a better knowledge of 
the principles on which it should be played ; 
and to attain these objects he resolved to teach 
it professionally. His spirited attempt excited 



IKIlbiet IFluggete 



much attention, as we find several notices of it 
on record. In the Rambler of May 8, 1750, a 
lady writes : 

'* As for play, I do think I may, indeed, indulge in 
that, now I am my own mistress. Papa made me drudge 
at whist till I was tired of it ; and, far from wanting a 
head, Mr. Hoyle, when he had not given me above forty 
lessons, said I was one of his best scholars " • 

In the Gentleman'' s Magazine of February, 
1755) a writer, professing to give the autobi- 
ography of a fashionable physician, says : 

"Hoyle tutored me in several games of cards, and, 
under the name of guarding me from being cheated, 
insensibly gave me a taste for sharping." 

In the course of this instruction he sold to his 
pupils a set of notes which he had drawn up, 
containing rules and directions for their guid- 
ance. These were in manuscript, and he charged 
a guinea for each copy. The novelty and great 
value of the rules were soon discovered, and 
surreptitious copies began to get into circula- 
tion, when Mr. Hoyle to secure his copyright, 
had them published. 

At this time the final changes had been made 
by increasing the score to ten, and by using the 



Ao^ern Mbiet 



whole pack, thus giving thirteen cards to each 
player. This latter improvement introduced 
the odd tricky an element of such great interest 
in the present game. Whether it was Hoyle or 
some one previously, who made these changes, 
is not clear ; but at any rate the game, as he 
presents it, is precisely the form of long whist 
ever since played. 

His book had a great and rapid success ; it 
went through several editions in one year, and 
it seems to have been again pirated, as the 
author found it necessary to certify every 
genuine copy by attaching his autograph signa- 
ture, of which the following, taken from the 
thirteenth edition is a fac-simile. 

In the fifteenth edition the signature was, 
for the first time, impressed from a wood-block, 
and in the seventeenth it was announced that, 
* ' Mr. Hoyle was dead. ' ' The great man departed 
this life, full of years and of honors, on the 29th 
of August, 1769. 



Timbi6t nmgcte 



Byron's oft-quoted parallel — 

" Troy owes to Homer what whist owes to Hoyle," 

hardly does justice to our author, for he was 
far more than the historian of whist ; he may, 
essentially, be considered its founder. 

The effect of Hoyle's promulgation of the 
game in its improved form was very prompt, 
as we learn from a witty and amusing brochure 
that appeared in the same 3'ear, 1743, called 
T/ie Humours of Whist, a dramatic Satire^ as 
acted every day at Whitens and other Coffee- 
houses and Assemblies. It is a short comedy, 
the principal characters being Professor Whiston 
(Hoyle), who gives lessons in the game ; Sir 
Calculation Puzzle, an enthusiastic player, who 
muddles his head with Hoyle's calculations 
and always loses ; pupils, sharpers, and their 
dupes. The object is chiefly to ridicule the 
pretensions of Hoyle and the enthusiasm of his 
followers, and to show that skill and calcula- 
tion are of no avail against bad luck or pre- 
meditated fraud. The work was reprinted ten 
years later, but it is scarce, and we may give 



/IRoDetn IKIlbtet 23 



a few extracts that throw light on the circum- 
stances attending the first introduction of the 
new rules of the game. 

Hoyle had given out that he had spent forty 
years in its study, and the prologue says : 

" Who will believe that man could e'er exist, 
Who spent near half an age in studying whist ? 
Grew grey with calculation, labour hard, 
As if life's business center'd in a card? 
That such there is, let me to those appeal 
Who with such liberal hands reward his zeal. 
lyO ! whist he makes a science, and our peers 
Deign to turn schoolboys in their riper years." 

Sir Calculation Puzzle gives some amusing 
explanations of his losses. In one case he 
says : 

" That certainly was the most out-of-the-way bite ever 
was heard of. Upon the pinch of the game, when he 
must infallibly have lost it, the dog ate the losing card, 
by which means we dealt again, and faith he won the 
.game." 

Again, in reference to. Hoyle's calculations 
of chances : 

" We were nine all. The adversary had three and we 
four tricks. All the trumps were out. I had queen and 
two small clubs, with the lead. I^et me see : it was about 



24 Wibiet mug^eta 



222 and 3 halves to — 'g"ad, I forgot how many — ^that my 
partner had the ace and king ; ay, that he had not both 
of them, 17 to 2 ; and that he had not one, or both, or 
neither, some 25 to 32. So I, according to the judgment 
of the game, led a club ; my partner takes it with the 
king. Then it was exactly 481 for us to 222 for them. 
He returns the same suit, I win it with my queen, and 
return it again ; but the devil take that Lurchum, by 
passing his ace twice, he took the trick, and, having two 
more clubs and a thirteenth card, egad, all was over." 

The praise of Hoyle's book by its supporters 
is unbounded. They say : 

" There never was so excellent a book printed. I'm 
quite in raptures with it ; I will eat with it, sleep with it, 
go to Parliament with it, go to Church with it. I pro- 
nounce it the gospel of whist-plaj-ers. I want words to 
express the author, and can look on him in no other 
light than as a second Newton. I have joined twelve 
companies in the Mall, and eleven of them were talking 
of it. It's the subject of all conversation, and has had 
the honour to be introduced into the Cabinet." 

The wits, however, did not neglect to poke 
fun at the Professor : 

"Beau. Ha ! ha ! ha ! I shall dye ! Yonder is I/)rd 
Fin ess and Sir George Tenace, two first-rate players ; 
they have been most lavishly beat by a couple of 'pren- 
tices. Ha ! ha ! ha ! They came slap four by honours 
upon them almost every deal. 

"Lord Rally. I find, Professor, your book do's not 
teach how to beat four by honours. Ha ! ha ! ha ! 



/iRoDern TObiet 25 



" Professor [aside]. Curse them ! I'd rather have given 
a thousand pounds than this should have happen'd. It 
strikes at the reputation of my Treatise. 

'^ Lord Rally. In my opinion there is still something 
wanting to compleat the system of whist : and that 
is A Dissertation on the I^ucky Chair. [Company 
laugh.'] 

''Professor. Ha! ha! ha! your I^ordship's hint is 
excellent. I'm obliged to you for it." 

Whist advanced rapidly in public favor, and 
evidence is on record of the time when it was 
received at court and formally acknowledged as 
one of the royal amusements. In 1720 a little 
book called the Court Gamester was, as its 
title-page informs us, " written for the Use of 
the young princesses," the daughters of the 
Prince of Wales, afterwards George II. It was 
frequently reprinted, and in later editions a 
second part was added, called the City Game- 
ster^ containing less polite games used east of 
Temple Bar. Whist was included in the latter 
category up to the seventh edition ; but in the 
next, dated 1754, it was transferred to the court 
division. In 1758 it had become a fit recreation 
for University dons, as in No. 33 of the Idler^ 
the senior fellow of a college at Cambridge 



26 XQblst fluggcts 



represents himself aud his party as "sitting late 
at whist in the evening." 

WTien whist became fashionable it was nat- 
urally taken up by polite literature, dry rules 
and laws being made subservient to poetry and 
imagination. We have already seen how it 
had been dramatized ; it was now to be raised 
to a higher grade in Parnassus, by becoming 
the subject of an epic. In 1791 appeared 
Whist, a Poem, in 12 Cantos, by Alexander 
Thomson, Esq. The book went through two 
editions, and made great pretensions to learn- 
ing, by quotations from or references to authors 
in almost every language, from French to Per- 
sian, and of almost every age, from the Patri- 
archs to the eighteenth century ; but the poetry- 
was feeble, the history incorrect, and the whist 
not over sound. One quotation, of the con- 
cluding lines, will suffice : 

" Nor do I yet despair to see the day 
When hostile armies, rang-'d in neat array, 
Instead of fighting, shall engage in play ; 
"When peacefnl whist the quarrel shall decide, 
And Christian blood be spUt on neither side. 
Then pleas no more should wait the tardy laws. 



flSo5ern IKHbtet 27 

But one odd trick at cnce conclude the cause. 
(Tho' some wall say that this is nothing- new, 
For here there have been long odd tricks enow}. 
Then Britain still, to all the world's surprise. 
In this great science shall progressive rise, 
Till ages hence, when all of each degree 
Shall play the game as well as Hoyle or me." 

One of the chief seats of whist-playing during 
the eighteenth century was the city of Bath, 
where Nash and other celebrities had much 
encouraged card-games generally. About 1800 
a little book appeared there, entitled Advice to 
the Young Whist Ptayer^ by Thomas Matthews, 
Esq. This was a sound and useful work, con- 
taining many improvements, resulting from the 
experience of half a century, and it is, even 
now, worthy of attentive study. 

About the same date an important change 
took place, namely, the introduction of ''Short 
Whist," by altering the winning score from 
ten to five, and abolishing the "call" for 
honors when wanting two of game. The 
change is said to iiave originated in an acci- 
dent : Lord Peterborough having one night 
lost a large sum of money, the friends with 



28 mbi6t mu^get6 

whom li*e was playing proposed to give him the 
revanche at five points instead of ten, in order 
to afford him a quicker chance of recovering 
his loss. The new plan was found so lively 
that it soon became popular, and has long since 
superseded long whist in the best circles. The 
reason of the preference is not difficult to dis- 
cover. All good players must have found out 
how the interest increased towards the close 
of the long game, when the parties were pretty 
even, and when it became necessary to pay 
stricter attention to the score, in order to regu- 
late the play. Now to cause this state of things 
to recur more frequently, it would be sufficient 
to play, as it were, the latter half of the game 
without the former, i. e., to commence with both 
parties at the score of five ; for this is the true 
sense of the alteration. 

This mode of viewing it accounts for no 
change being made in the value of the honors. 
Some authorities think the scoring for these 
should have been halved, and, no doubt, this 
would have given more effect to skill in play ; 
but such a change would have rendered the 



/IftoDcrn TPOlbiat 29 



game less generally interesting. It must never 
be forgotten that the element of chance is one 
of the attractive features of whist, to good 
players as well as to mediocre ones, and to 
tamper with the present arrangement would 
probably endanger the popularity of the game. 
Whist was known in France at an early 
period by translations of Hoyle. It was played 
by Ivouis XV., and under the Bmpire was a 
favorite game of Josephine and Marie Ivouise. 
After the Restoration it was taken up more 
enthusiastically. " The nobles," says a French 
writer, *'had gone to England to learn to 
think, and they brought back the thinking 
game with them." Talleyrand was the great 
player of the day, and his mot — '* You do not 
know whist, young man ? What a sad old age 
you are preparing for yourself ! " — is a standing 
quotation in all whist books. Charles X. was 
playing whist at St. Cloud on the 29th of July, 
1830, when the tricolor was waving on the 
Tuileries, and he had lost his throne. His 
successor, Ivouis Philippe, when similarly en- 
gaged, had to vsubmit to an elegant insolence. 



30 IKDlbiet IPtuQ^ets 

He had dropped a louis, and stopped the game 
to look for it, when a foreign ambassador, one 
of the party, set fire to a billet of i,ooo francs 
to give light to the King under the table. 

In 1839 appeared a Traite du Whiste^ by M. 
Deschapelles, whom Mr. Clay calls *'the finest 
whist player, beyond any comparison, the 
world has ever seen." Much was to be ex- 
pected from such a quarter, but the publication 
was but a fragment of a larger work that never 
appeared. The author treats of whist in a 
manner highly spirituel. He reasons on im- 
mensity and eternity, on metaphysical necessity 
and trial by jury ; he invokes the sun of Joshua 
and the star of the Magi ; he investigates the 
electrical affinities of the players, and illustrates 
a hand by analytical geometry. He died some 
fifteen or twenty years ago. 

The latest stage in the history of whist com- 
prises the more modem determination and 
consolidation of its scientific constitution, both 
theoretical and practical. 

This important step was brought about by a 
circumstance somewhat similar to that which 



/RoDern Wibiet 31 

gave rise to the first development of the game by 
Hoyle, a century and a quarter before. Between 
1850 and i860 a knot of young men at Cam- 
bridge, of considerable ability, who had at first 
taken up whist for amusement, found it offer 
such a field for intellectual study, that they 
continued its practice more systematically, with 
a view to its complete scientific investigation. 
Since the general adoption of short whist the 
constant practice of adepts had led to the intro- 
duction of many improvements in detail, but 
nothing had been done to reduce the modern 
play into a systematic form, or to lay it clearly 
before the public ; its secrets, so far as they 
differed from the precepts of Hoyle and Mat- 
thews, were confined to small coteries of club 
players. The little whist school held together 
afterwards in London, and added to its num- 
bers ; and in 1862 one of its members brought 
out the work published under the name of 
''Cavendish," the principal object of which was 
to illustrate the modem play by a set of model 
games, after the manner of those so much used 
at chess. Two years afterwards appeared the 



32 llClbi6t 1Klugget6 

essay of Mr. Clay, aud a little later that of Dr. 
Pole. 

Bach of these publications is distinct in its 
object. The work of Dr. Pole expounds the 
fundamental theory on which the modern 
game is based ; that of Cavendish gives detailed 
rules for, and examples of, its application in 
practice ; and that of Mr. Clay is an able dis- 
sertation on the more refined points of the best 
modern play, by the best modern player. 
Taken together, these books (which ought to 
be combined in one volume) furnish a complete 
epitome of the game, presenting it both theo- 
retically and practically in the perfect state at 
which it has now arrived, by continued study 
and practice during the two centuries that have 
elapsed since it first assumed a definite shape 
and took its present name. 

London Quarterly Review. 




WHIST AND WHIST-PLAYERS. 

T^HH laws of whist, like those of Nature before 
* Newton, lay hid in night, at all events were 
involved in most perplexing confusion and un- 
certainty, when the happy thought of fixing, 
defining, arranging and (so to speak) codifying 
them, occurred to a gentleman possessing the 
requisite amount of knowledge and experience, 
and admirably qualified by social position for 
the task. *^Some years ago,'* writes Mr. Bald- 
win in May, 1864, " I suggested to the late Hon. 
George Anson (one of the most accomplished 
whist-players of his day) that, as the supremacy 
of short whist was an acknowledged fact, a re- 
vision and reformation of Hoyle's rules would 
confer a boon on whist-players generally, and 
on those especially to whom disputes and 
3 33 



34 mbt6t nmQciB 

doubtful points were constantly referred. Our 
views coincided, but the project was, for the 
following reason, abandoned/' 

The reason was neither more nor less than 
what has stopped or indefinitely postponed so 
many other projects for the amelioration of 
society or improvement of mankind, namely, 
the difficulty and trouble to be encountered, 
with a very uncertain chance of success. This 
reason was eventually outweighed by the sense 
of responsibility in the face of a steadily in- 
creasing evil which a decided effort might cor- 
rect ; and early in 1863 the legislator of the 
whist-table had duly meditated his scheme and 
made up his mind as to the right method of 
executing it. When Napoleon had resolved 
upon a code, he began by nominating a board 
of the most eminent French jurists, whose sit- 
tings he was in the constant habit of attending, 
and by whom it was, article by article, settled and 
discussed. Mr. Baldwin proceeded in much the 
same fashion. The board or committee which 
met at his suggestion, or (as he says) ''kindly con- 
sented to co-operate with him," was comprised 



WibiBt anD 'MbieUt^la^cxe 35 

of seven members of the Arlington Club, who — 
we might take for granted, were it not notorious 
as a fact — were renowned for the skilful practice 
as well as the scientific knowledge of the game. 
The foundation of the republic of Venice 
maybe dated from 697 a.d., when twelve of the 
founders met and elected the first Doge. Their 
descendants, g/t Elettorali^ formed the first 
class of the aristocracy, and with them were 
subsequently associated the descendants of the 
four who joined in signing an instrument for 
the foundation of the Abbey of San Giorgio 
Maggiore. The twelve were popularly spoken 
of as the Twelve Apostles, and the four as the 
Four Evangelists. The foundation of the re- 
public of whist may be dated from its reduction 
under settled laws ; and precedence such as was 
accorded to the Venetian Apostles and Evan- 
gelists should be accorded to the two bodies of 
gentlemen by whom Mr. Baldwin's suggestions 
were so effectively carried out. The seven 
members of the Arlington (who may rank with 
the Apostles) were : — George Bentinck, Esq., 
late M. P. for West Norfolk ; John Bushe, Esq. 



36 mbt6t IWuggets 

(son of the Chief Justice in ' ' Patronage ' *) ; John 
Clay, Esq., M. P., who acted as chairman ; the late 
Charles C. Greville, Esq. ; Sir Rainald Knight- 
ley, Bart.,M. P. ; H. B. Mayne, Esq. ; G. Payne, 
Esq. ; Colonel Pipon. The Resolution appoint- 
ing them is authenticated by the distinguished 
signature of Admiral Rous. The code drawn 
up by them was transmitted to the Portland 
Club, the whist-club par eminence since the 
dissolution of Graham's, which nominated the 
following committee (who may rank with the 
Evangelists of Venice) to consider it : — H. D. 
Jones,- Esq. (the father of ''Cavendish"), chair- 
man ; Charles Adams, Esq. ; W. F. Baring, 
Esq. ; H. Fitzroy, Esq. ; Samuel Petrie, Esq. ; 
H. M. Rid(^ll, Esq. ; R. Wheble, Esq. Their 
suggestions and additions were immediately ac- 
cepted by the Arlington, and on Saturday, April 
30, 1864, — it is right to be particular — this reso- 
lution was proposed and carried unanimously : 

"Arlington Club. 
" That the I^aws of Short Whist as framed by the Whist 
Committee, and edited by John I^oraine Baldwin, Ksq., be 
adopted by this Club. 

** (Sigriied) Beaufort, Chairman." 



mbiet anD "mbieUt^ln^cvs 37 

So soon as this resolution was passed, the 
work was done ; for all the other principal 
clubs in town and country eagerly notified their 
adhesion, and it would be simply absurd for 
individuals to refuse obedience. That the 
Continent and the New World will do well to 
follow the lead of England, may be inferred 
from a single point of comparison. Mr. Bald- 
win's Laws of Whist are comprised in sixteen 
pages, whereas two hundred and eighty-four 
pages of M. Deschapelles' Traitk du Whist 
are devoted to the laws. Nor is the code the 
only boon for which we are indebted to the 
codifier. He has also been the means of elicit- 
ing what (when it was first published) was 
incomparably the acutest, most compact, and 
most practical essay on the subject, A Treatise 
on the Gamey by J. C. (John Clay). It was 
preceded by several works of merit, but its 
improving effects may be traced in all recent 
editions of the best ; and we have now a litera- 
ture of whist which leaves the habitually bad 
player, male or female, without the semblance 
of an apology. 



38 WihiBt 1Flu00et0 



Although the large circulation of these books 
would imply general study and corresponding 
advance, the effect has been disappointing upon 
the whole. It is quite curious to see how many 
who have made whist their favorite occupation 
never rise to the rank of third-rate players ; how 
many are utterly ignorant of the plainest prin- 
ciples, and unprepared for the most ordinary 
combinations or contingencies ; how many are 
almost always in hopeless confusion about their 
leads ; how many have not the smallest notion 
why and when they should trump a doubtful 
card, or why and when they should lead trumps. 
The Italian who had the honor of teaching 
George lit. the violin, on being asked by his 
royal pupil what progress he was making, ob- 
served, ''Please your Majesty, there are three 
classes of players : i. Those who cannot play 
at all. 2. Those who play badly. 3. Those 
who play well. Your Majesty is just rising into 
the second class." This is the outside compli- 
ment we could pay to a numerous section of 
assiduous whist-players. Yet, as Lord Chester- 
field told his son, whatever is worth doing at 



Wibiet anD 1imbi6t=ipla^er0 39 

all is worth doing well ; and one would have 
thought that a few hours* study might be ad- 
vantageously bestowed in escaping this con- 
stantly recurring condition of embarrassment, 
to say nothing of the annoyance which may be 
read in the partner's face, however indulgent 
or well bred, when he or she happens to know 
something of the game. 

This want of proper grounding and training, 
far from being confined to the idle and superfi- 
cial, is frequently detected or avowed in the 
higher orders of intellect, in the most acute, 
accomplished, and cultivated minds. '^I^ady 
Donegal and I," writes Miss Berry, "played 
whist with Lord BUenborough and I^ord Krskine. 
I doubt which of the four plays worst.'' I^ord 
Thurlow declared late in life that he would 
give half his fortune to play well. Why did he 
not set about it? I^ord Lyndhurst and I^ord 
Wensleydale were on a par with I^ord Ellen- 
borough and lyord Brskine, yet they were both 
very fond of the game, and both would eagerly 
have confirmed the justice of Talleyrand's well- 
known remark to the youngster who rather 



40 Wibi6t mUQQCtS 

boastingly declared his ignorance of it : " Quelle 
triste vieillesse vous vous prSparez / " * It is an 
invaluable resource to men of studious habits, 
whose eyes and mental faculties equally require 
relief in the evening of life or after the grave 
labors of the day ; and the interest rises with 
the growing consciousness of skill. 

The main cause of this educational omission or 
neglect is the rooted belief that whist cannot 
be taught by study or reading, which is pretty- 
nearly tantamount to saying that it cannot be 
taught at all ; for there was no reason why a 
sound precept, orally communicated at a card- 
table should be less sound and useful when 
printed in a book. Moreover, the book has 
one marked advantage over the oral instructor : 
it gives time for reflection, and does not give 
occasion for irritability. We have no elemen- 
tary schools of whist nor paid teachers as in 

* To Talleyrand at the whist-table might be applied, 
with the change of a word, the couplet of Pope : 

" See how the world its veterans rewards, 
A youth of plotting, an old age of cards." 

Talleyrand was far from a good player, and, as might 
have been anticipated, unduly prone to finessing and 
false cards. 



TObt6t anD 1imbl5t*ipla^er0 41 



billiards ; and a competent amateur, when 
taking his place opposite a lady partner, is 
almost invariably addressed : *' Now pray don't 
scold ; I can't bear scolding." In other words : 
" I can't bear to be taught." Bven when a lady 
requests to be told if she plays wrong, the odds 
are that, unless she is resolutely bent on fasci- 
nating, she will turn upon you, if you are 
simple enough to take her at her word, like 
the matron in Ccelebs who was lamenting her 
own exceeding sinfulness : 

'^ Mr. Ranby : You accuse yourself too heavily, my 
dear ; you have sins to be sure. 

" Mrs. Ranby (in a raised voice and angry tone) : And 
pray what sins have I, Mr. Ranby ? ' ' 

A critical remark to a male partner, or an 
attempt to talk over the hand, is frequently 
met in a manner that does not invite a repeti- 
tion of the experiment, although a polite in- 
quiry why a particular card was played is an 
implied compliment. Mr. Clay speaks with 
his characteristic good sense on this topic : 

" Talking over the hand after it has been played is not 
uncommonly called a bad habit, and an annoyance. I 
am firmly persuaded that it is among- the readiest ways 



42 mbiet nnggcte 

of learning whist, and I advise beginners, when they 
have not understood their partner's play, or when they 
think that the hand might have been differently played 
with a better result, to ask for information, and invite 
discussion. They will, of course, select for this purpose 
a player of recognised skill, and will have little diffi- 
culty in distinguishing the dispassionate and reasoning 
man from him who judges by results, and finds fault 
only because things have gone wrong. They will rarely 
find a real whist-player so discourteous as to refuse 
every information in his power, for he takes interest in 
the beginner who is anxious to improve." 

But real whist-players will rarely take sufl&- 
cient interest in beginners, however anxious to 
improve, to be willing to cut in with them 
before a certain amount of progress has been 
made; and a request for information, betraying 
a want of elementary knowledge might provoke 
an answer like Dr. Johnson's to the young 
gentleman who asked him whether the cat was 
oviparous or viviparous : '* Sir, you should read 
the common books of natural history, and not 
come to a man of a certain age and some 
attainments to ask whether the cat lays eggs." 
With reference, also, to your own immediate 
interest, you had better hold your tongue, or 
reserve your comments till the party has 



mbt6t anD 1KIlbl0t=p(a^er6 43 

broken up ; for the offender will immediately 
play worse. 

Books, therefore, are the readiest and surest 
sources of instruction, but to begin with books 
would be as absurd as the practice of teaching 
Latin and Greek through the medium of a lyatin 
grammar. It is now admitted that the Hamil- 
tonian method of learning languages is the best. 
Acquire a sufficient stock of words before 
meddling with syntax. Just so, familiarize 
yourself with the ordinary combinations of 
the cards before venturing on the rules and 
principles which constitute the syntax of the 
game. But in each case the syntax is indis- 
pensable, when the appropriate stage of pro- 
gress has been reached ; and the whist-player 
who endeavors to dispense with it, unless 
he is singularly gifted, will bear the same 
relation to one of the master spirits of the 
Portland, the Arlington, or the Paris Jockey 
Club, that a courier or quick-witted lady's 
maid who had made the tour of Europe, 
would bear in linguistic acquirements to the 
trained diplomatist who speaks and writes 



44 TOblat muggets 

French, German, and Italian with correctness 
and facility. 

It is the same in all things to which mind 
can be applied ; theory or science should go 
hand in hand with practice. This is true even 
of games of manual dexterity, like billiards and 
croquet, but it is pre-eminently true of whist. 
Nay, we shall show before concluding that the 
mere mechanical quality of memory has far less 
to do with making a fine or even a good player, 
than the higher qualities of judgment, observa- 
tion, logical intuition, and sagacity. 

The introduction of short whist is thus de- 
scribed by Mr. Clay : 

" Some eighty years back, I,ord Peterborough having 
one night lost a large sum of money, the friends with 
whom he was playing proposed to make the game five 
points instead of ten, in order to give the loser a chance, 
at a quicker game, of recovering his loss. The late Mr. 
Hoare, of Bath, a very good whist-player, and without a 
superior at piquet, was one of this party, and has more 
than once told me the story." 

Major A, writing in 1835, says : *' Short whist 
started up and overthrew the ancient Long 
Dynasty more than half a century ago," thus 
confirming Mr. Clay as to the date ; but if it 



TlXDiblst anD mbl6t==iIMa^er6 45 

started up in the eighteenth century, its suprem- 
acy was not established till far into the nine- 
teenth, and many whist-players now living 
imbibed their rudiments under the ancient 
Ivong Dynasty. 

An illustration in the Anti-Jacobin of 1798, 
goes far to prove that long whist alone was 
present to the minds of the distinguished writers, 
Mr. Canning and Mr. Frere : 

" of whist or cribbage mark th' amusing game, 
The partners changing, but the sport the same ; 

E)lse would the gamester's anxious ardour cool, 
Dull every deal, and stagnant every pool. 

—Yet must one Man, with one unceasing Wife, 
Play the I^ong Rubber of connubial life."* 

These high authorities differ as to the origin. 
*' This revolution," continues Major A., **was 
occasioned by a worthy Welsh baronet prefer- 
ring his lobster for supper hot. Four first-rate 

*The Progress of Man ^ a parody on Mr. Payne Knight's 
Progress of Civil Society , YQ. which a marked preference 
is given to the connubial rites or ceremonies of the 
South Sea Islands over those of Great Britain. This is 
alluded to in the preceding lines of the parody : 

*%earn hence, each nymph, whose free aspiring mind, 
Europe's cold laws and colder customs bind— 
Oh ! learn what Nature's genial laws decree, 
What Otaheite is, let Britain be." 



46 Wibiet nrngcte 

whist-players — consequently, four great men — 
adjourned from the House of Commons to 
Brookes's, and proposed a rubber while the 
cook was busy. *The lobster must be hot/ 
said the baronet. ^ A rubber may last an hour, * 
said another, ^ and the lobster be cold again, 
or spoiled, before we have finished.' 'It is 
too long,' said a third. * lyct us cut it shorter, ' 
said a fourth. — Carried, nem. con. Down they 
sat, and found it very lively to win or lose so 
much quicker. Besides furnishing conversation 
at supper, the thing was new — they were legis- 
lators, and had a fine opportunity to exercise 
their calling." 

Next day (he says) St. James' Street was in 
commotion : the Ivongs and Shorts contended 
like the Blues and Greens of the circus : and 
for a period it was regarded as a drawn battle or 
a tolerably equal contest : but the old school 
became gradually weaker by deaths, and the 
new school, when no longer confronted by 
habit and prejudice, obtained a complete vic- 
tory. The truth is, the new game is the better 
of the two, as requiring more sustained atten- 



Xmbiet auD 1imbi6t:=pla^er6 47 

tion, more rapidity of conception, more dash, 
more Han, and giving more scope to genius 
than the old. It is the Napoleonic strategy or 
tactics against the Austrian ; or (to borrow an 
illustration from naval warfare) it may be com- 
pared to Nelson's favorite manoeuvre of ** break- 
ing the line." Those who maintain the con- 
trary, must maintain that the second half of the 
old game (when it stood five to five) was less crit- 
ical and less calculated for the display of skill 
than the first. At all events the popular decree 
is irrevocable, and the revolution has been ren- 
dered more complete by circumstances which 
are appositely stated by Mr. Clay : 

" I remember, as a youngster, being told by one of the 
highest authorities, on the occasion of my having led a 
single trump from a hand of great strength in all the 
other suits, that the only justification for leading a 
singleton in trumps was the holding at least ace and 
king in the three remaining suits. He spoke the opin- 
ion of his school. That school, I am inclined to believe, 
might teach us much that we have neglected, but I 
should pick out of it one man alone, the celebrated 
Major Aubrey, as likely to be very formidable among 
the best players of the present day. He was a player of 
great original genius, and refused strict adherence to 
the over careful system, to which his companions were 
slaves. • 



48 11lllbt6t IRug^ets 

"But whist had travelled, and thirty or more yea^s 
ago we began to hear of the great Paris whist-players. 
They sometimes came among us — more frequently our 
champions encountered them on their own ground, and 
returned to us with a system modified, if not improved, 
by their French experience. . . . We were forced to 
recognize a wide difference between their system and 
our own, and * the French game ' became the scorn and 
the horror of the old school, which went gradually to its 
grave, with an unchanged faith, and in the firm belief 
that the invaders, with their rash trump leading, were 
all mad, and that their great master, Deschapelles — the 
finest whist-player beyond any comparison the world 
has ever seen — was a dangerous lunatic. The new 
school, however, as I well remember, were found to be 
winning players. ' ' 

Now what are the distinctive features of the 
new school, its essential principles, its merits, 
and its defects ? Unluckily, the great master, 
Deschapelles, did not live to carry out his origi- 
nal plan. He has left only a single chapter on 
La Doctrine, entitled, De V Impasse (Of the 
Finesse). But his mantle has fallen on no 
unworthy successors, and little difficulty will 
be experienced in rendering his system intel- 
ligible to those who care to master it, for 
it is substantially that which all the best 
players in both hemispheres have adopted and 
recommend : 



mbiet anD mblst^plai^erg 49 



" The basis of the theory of the modem scientific game 
of whist [says Professor Pole] lies in the relations exist- 
ing between the players. 

" It is a fundamental feature of the construction of the 
game, that the four players are intended to act, not 
singly and independently, but in a double combination, 
two of them heing partners against a partnership of the 
other two. And it is the full recognition of this fact, 
carried out into all the ramifications of the play, which 
characterizes the scientific game, and gives it its supe- 
riority over all others. 

" Yet, obvious as this fact is, it is astonishing how im- 
perfectly it is appreciated among players generally. 
Some ignore the partnership altogether, except in the 
mere division of the stakes, neither caring to help their 
partners or be helped by them, but playing as if each 
had to fight his battle alone. Others will go farther, 
giving some degree of consideration to the partner, but 
still always making their own hand the chief object ; 
and among this latter class are often found players of 
much skill and judgment, and who pass for great adepts 

in the game." 

« 

The combined principle was not ignored, it 
was simply undervalued, by the old school. 
What they failed to see, and what many modern 
players cannot be brought to see yet, is that, 
with tolerably equal cards, the result of the 
mimic campaign hangs upon it, as the fate of 
Germany hung on the junction of Prince 
Charles and the Crown Prince at Sadowa, or 
the fate of Europe on the junction of Blucher 



50 TKHbiet IWuggete 

and Wellington at Waterloo. Of course it is 
necessary to agree upon a common object or 
system, and this again is placed in tlie clearest 
light by Professor Pole : 

" The object of play is of course to make tricks, and 
tricks may be made in four different ways, viz. : 

" I. By the natural predominance of master cards ^ as 
aces and kings. This forms the leading idea of begin- 
ners, whose notions of trick-making do not usually 
extend beyond the high cards they have happened to 
receive. 

" 2, Tricks may be also made by taking advantage of 
th.G^ position of the cards, so as to evade the higher ones, 
and make smaller ones win : as, for example, in finess- 
ing, and in leading up to a weak suit. This method is 
one which, although always kept well in view by good 
players, is yet only of accidental occurrence, and there- 
fore does not enter into our present discussion of the 
general systems of treating the hand. 

" 3. Another mode of trick-making is hy trumping ; 
a system almost as fascinating to beginners as the reali- 
zation of master cards ; but the correction of this predi- 
lection requires much deeper study. 

" 4. The fourth method of making tricks is by 
establishing and bringing in a long suit, every card of 
which will then make a trick, whatever be its value. 
This method, tl^ough the most scientific, is the least 
obvious, and therefore is the least practised by young 
players. 

" Now the first, third, and fourth methods of making 
tricks, may be said to constitute different systems, accord- 
ing to either of which a player may view his hand and 
regulate his play." 



'MbiBt anD mbtets^iplai^ers 51 

This is illustrated by an example. The hand 
of the player with whom the opening lead lies 
is thus composed : Hearts (trumps), queen, 
nine, six, three. Spades, king, knave, eight, 
four, three, two. Diamonds, ace, king. Clubs, 
a singleton. He may lead off the ace and king 
of diamonds (System No. i), or the singleton 
in the hope of a ruff (No. 3), or the smallest of 
his long suit (No. 4)> on the chance of establish- 
ing it and making three or four tricks in it. In 
other words, he has to choose between the three 
systems ; and the paramount importance of the 
choice consists in its deciding the opening lead, 
by far the most important of the whole ; as it 
is the first indication afforded to the partner. 
'^ He will, if he is a good player, observe with 
great attention the card you lead, and will at 
once draw inferences from it that may perhaps 
influence the whole of his plans." 

When the highest authorities, on the most 
careful calculation of chances, have laid down 
that the long-suit system is the best, and the 
long-suit opening has become the received 
method of carrying it out, a player who takes 



52 TKabt6t IFtuggete 



his own line, or looks exclusively to his own 
hand, will wilfully commit what Mr. Clay 
justly calls ''the greatest fault he knows in a 
whist-player." All that can be said in favor of 
the rival systems has been said a hundred times 
and deliberately set aside, but the strongest of 
all objections to each of them is, that neither 
admits of combined action, in fact, can hardly 
be called a system at all ; for when you have 
led off your ace and king, you are at a stand- 
still, and when you have led your singleton, 
you have probably en>barrassed instead of in- 
forming your partner ; and it is fortunate if 
you have not led him into a scrape. Besides, 
you may have no ace and king, and no single- 
ton ; whereas you must always have what (com- 
paratively speaking) may be called your strong 
suit, if only consisting of four. 

Players who find an irresistible fascination in 
leading their best cards, or in trumping, may 
also take comfort in the reflection that they are 
not requested to abandon their favorite tactics 
altogether ; for occasions are constantly arising 
when it becomes advisable to fall back upon 



mbl6t anD TObi6t:=lIMa^er0 53 

them ; just as the most consummate general 
may be compelled to resort to defensive or 
guerilla warfare, when he is too weak to hazard 
a pitched battle or a siege in form. It can 
hardly ever be right to lead off an ace and king 
with no other of the suit, for they are almost 
sure of making at a more opportune period of 
the game. But when held with others in an 
otherwise weak hand, i. ^., without strength in 
trumps, or the chance of establishing a suit, 
high cards may be judiciously led at once to 
avoid being trumped. Whenever, therefore, a 
good player plays out his winning cards, with- 
out first playing trumps, it is a manifest token 
of weakness, instead of an exhibition of 
strength. 

The argument is thus summed up by Pro- 
fessor Pole : 

" Accepting, therefore, this system as the preferable 
one, we are now able to enunciate the fundamental 
theory of the modern scientific game, which is : 

*' That the hands of the two partners shall not be played 
singly and independently, but shall be combined, and 
treated as one. And that in order to carry out most effec- 
tually this principle of combination, each partner shall 
adopt the long-suit system as the general basis of his play. '^ 



54 WibiBt nnggcte 

Mark the words '^general basis." This is 
quite enough to bring about the required under- 
standing, and you are at full liberty to adapt 
your play to circumstances when your partner 
makes no distinct call upon you, or is unable 
to co-operate in the execution of a plan. 

It is an obvious corollary that the primary use 
of trumps is to draw the adversary's trumps for 
the purpose of bringing in your own or your part- 
ner's long suit ; and it is consequently essential 
to determine what strength in trumps justifies 
you in leading them. There is a capital sketch 
of a whist party in Sans Merci^ by the author 
of Guy Livingston^ in which the hero, who is 
losing to a startling amount, asks his partner, 
an old hand, whether with knave five he ought 
not to have led trumps. ''It has been com- 
puted,'' was the calm reply, '' that eleven thou- 
sand Englishmen, once heirs to fair fortunes, 
are wandering about the Continent, in a state 
of utter destitution, because they would not 
lead trumps with five and an honor in their 
hands." Professor Pole is distinct and positive 
on this point : 



imbiet anD OTbi6t=ipla^er6 55 

'* whenever you have five trumps, whatever they are, 
or whatever the other components of your hand, you 
should lead them ; for the probability is that three, or 
at most four, rounds will exhaust those of the adver- 
saries, and you will still have one or two left to bring in 
your own or your partner's long- suits, and to stop 
those of the enemy. * * * And, further, you must 
recollect that it is no argument against leading trumps 
from five, that you have no long suit, and that your 
hand is otherwise weak ; for it is the essence of the 
combined principle that you work for your partner as 
well as yourself, and the probability is that if you are 
weak, he is strong, and will have long suits or good 
cards to bring in. And if, unfortunately, it should 
happen that you are both weak, any other play would 
be probably still worse for you." 

Cavendish says that, with the original lead 
and five trumps, you should almost always lead 
one ; with six, invariably. Colonel Blyth, 
after giving the same qualified opinion in his 
text, adds in a note : ^' I once heard a first-rate 
whist-player say that, with four trumps in your 
hand, it was mostly right to lead them ; but 
that he who held fiVQ^ and did not lead them, 
was fit only for a lunatic asylum." This first- 
rate whist-player had probably recently been 
playing with one of the eleven thousand, or 
with strong-minded females who are most pro- 
vokingly reticent of trumps. We should rec- 



56 mbist muQ^ete 

ommend every incipient whist-player, who has 
not experience enough to mark the rare excep- 
tional cases, to lead one when he holds more 
than four, but to pause and reflect with four. 
With four small trumps, he should not lead 
one, unless he is strong in all the other suits, 
or at least strong enough in each to pre- 
vent the establishment of an adversary's strong 
suit. If there are two or more honors amongst 
his four, or the ace, he may lead one with com- 
paratively little risk. 

The smallest should be led from four or 
more, except when you lead from a sequence, 
or except when you have king, knave, ten, 
with others, when the received lead is the ten. 
Mr. Clay has laid down nem. con. (at least, 
nem. con, amongst the authorities) that with 
ace, king, and others in trumps, you should 
lead the lowest, unless you have more than six, 
/. ^., as an originallead, or before circumstances 
have called for two rounds certain. The reason 
is that you may otherwise lose the third and 
most important trick ; for if you have no more 
than six, the odds are that one of your adver- 



Wibi6t anD 'MbisUplav.cts 57 

saries has at least three, headed by a superior 
card to your third best. The odds are also in 
favor of your partner holding the queen or 
knave, and if the queen is on his right, the 
knave is commonly as good as the queen. With 
ace, king, knave, and three small trumps, it 
may be as well to lead the ace and king, on the 
chance of the queen falling. With ace, king, 
knave, and less than three, the approved prac- 
tice is to lead the king, and wait for the return 
of the lead to finesse the knave. 

With a hand requiring or justifying a trump 
lead, the fact of an honor being turned up on 
your right must be disregarded, even with a 
certainty of its taking your partner's best card, 
the grand object being to get the command of 
trumps, not the first trick in them. Unless you 
wish the lead in trumps to be returned, do not 
(at least not early in the hand) lead through an 
honor, for the practice of leading through hon- 
ors, except as a regular trump lead, has been 
fortunately given up. We say fortunately, for, 
so long as it prevailed, it was impossible to 
know whether the lead through the honor was 



58 mbiet nmQcte 

the regular lead of trumps or not. At the same 
time, an experienced player may exercise his 
discretion in refraining from immediately re- 
turning the lead up to a high honor, especially 
if he can replace the lead in his partner's hand, 
and so enable him to lead through the honor a 
second time. 

There is another case when you may avoid 
returning a lead of trumps, whether through an 
honor or not, t. e,, when your partner has evi- 
dently led from weakness or desperation in a 
peculiar condition of the game. Thus, when 
he leads a knave, you may take for granted 
that it is his best, for (in England) there is no 
recognized trump lead from knave with a 
higher in the hand. The lead of the ten may 
be from king, knave, ten, with or without 
Others, and may place you in doubt unless you 
know that your partner cannot have both king 
and knave. In our opinion you should always, 
when third player, pass the ten of trumps un- 
less you see your way clear to winning both 
that and the two following tricks. If it does 
not make, it forces an honor and compels your 



TOb(0t anD mbtst^lplai^ere 59 

left-hand adversary to play up to you. It is 
quite painful to see an ace or king put upon a 
ten evidently led from weakness, and the com- 
mand of trumps thus irrecoverably lost. The 
time for this lead is when the game is ob- 
viously lost, or in great jeopardy, unless your 
partner is strong in trumps. For example, 
your adversaries are three love, and your only 
trump, or highest of two or three, is the ten. 
The game is lost unless your partner has two 
honors, and your ten will materially strengthen 
him, if he has.* 

The same state of things may justify or 
require a trump lead, even when you have no 
trump that can be called strengthening, not 
even a nine ; but the lead of a singleton in 
trumps at the commencement of the game, 
with nothing in the state of the score to justify 
it, strikes us to be reprehensible in the ex- 
treme. We do not go the length of saying with 
the champion of the old school, quoted by Mr, 

* On the same principle, when, to enable you to save 
the game, it is necessarY that the remaining- cards 
should be placed in a particular manner, play as if you 
knew them to be so placed. This is the secret of many 
of the most celebrated instances of fine play. 



6o mbi6t 1Rugget6 



Clay, that the only justification for leading a 
singleton in trumps (presumably not an hon- 
or) is holding at least ace and king in the three 
remaining suits. But there should be strength 
in each of the three remaining suits sufficient 
to prevent the establishment of a long suit by 
the adversaries. There is also this essential 
objection : The first duty of a player is to de- 
cide, after a careful study of his cards, whether 
he is to play a superior or inferior part, whether 
he is to be commander or subordinate for the 
hand, whether he is to act on the offensive or 
defensive, to aim at winning or saving the 
game. Now, with one trump and no great 
strength in other suits, you have no right to 
assume the command by forcing a trump lead 
on your partner, w^ho, with a single honor and 
without what can be called strength in trumps, 
may manage to save the game, if you do not 
force him into the sacrifice of his best card at 
starting. Leave him to initiate the lead of the 
trumps either by leading or asking for them. 
Begin with your high cards and watch for the 
signal ; if it is not forthcoming, go on with 



Timbl0t anD limbist ©latere 6i 

them and force. If you have no high cards, 
cadit questio : you would be clearly wrong to 
lead the trump. 

As for people who lead trumps because they 
are at a loss what else to lead, they might just 
as well take the most important step in life, go 
into orders, the army, or Mrs. Starr's convent, 
marry, or get unmarried, from sheer lassitude 
and vacuity. It is I^ord Derby's leap in the 
dark repeated on a small scale. A trump lead 
almost always brings matters to a crisis, and 
should never be hazarded without reason. If 
absolutely no semblance of a reason suggests 
itself, play any card rather than a trump ; and 
if this blank state of mind is of frequent recur- 
rence after a resolute effort to improve, we 
should address the dubitant pretty nearly as 
the French fencing-master addressed the late 
Barl of B. at the conclusion of six months* 
teaching : ^* Milord, je vous conseille decidem- 
ment d'abandonner les armes." 

The importance of the trump lead can hardly 
be over-estimated when we consider that (with 
the exceptions already hinted at) it should be 



62 Wihiet nmgcts 

returned immediately. It is an aphorism of 

traditional respectability that the only excuses 

for not returning a trump are a fit of apoplexy 

or not having any.^ These, too, are the only 

available excuses for not leading trumps, when 

your partner asks for them, and leading them 

in a manner to carry out his supposed wishes 

to the full. 

* The following case fell under our own observation : 
A. (the leader) had ace, king, two small spades (trumps) ; 
tierce major, two other clubs ; two diamonds and two 
hearts. B. (left-hand adversary), queen, three small 
trumps ; tierce major and two other diamonds, three 
hearts, one club. C. (A.'s partner), knave and one small 
trump ; ace, king, long suit of hearts ; diamonds and 
one club. D., three trumps, one heart; diamonds, and 
clubs. B. and D. were three love. A. led a trump which 
was won with the knave by C'who (instead of returning 
the lead) led hearts, which were trumped the second 
round by D.; who then led a diamond and established a 
kind of sea-saw, B. winning with diamonds, and D. 
trumping hearts. To stop this, A. over-trumped with 
his king, and led his ace of trumps ; leaving B. with 
the queen and another. B. trumped the second lead of 
clubs, drew the remaining trumps, made his remaining 
diamonds, and won the game. If C. had returned the 
trump, he and his partner musi have won the game, 
and might easily have made every trick but one ; for, 
after three rounds of trumps, A. would have forced the 
queen, re-established his suit with his remaining trump, 
and then, instructed by his partner's discards of dia- 
monds, have led hearts. From the moment the second 
lead of hearts began there was, demonstrably, no man- 
ner of play by which he could save the game, much less 
win it. C.'s excuse for not returning the trump was 
that she (it is commonly a fair amateur who reasons in 
this fashion) kept it to trump her partner's strong suit, 
clubs. Playing out high cards before returning' the 
trump is incurring the very risk the trump lead is in- 
tended to obviate. 



1KIlbt6t anD WibieUt^la^cte 63 

" It [asking for trumps] consists in throwing away an 
unnecessarily high card, and it is requisite to pay great 
attention to this definition. Thus, if you have the 
deuce and three of a suit of which two rounds are 
played, by playing the three to the first round and the 
deuce to the second, you have signified to your partner 
your wish that he should lead a trump as soon as he 
gets the lead. The same with any other higher card 
played unnecessarily before a lower." 

Mr. Clay, after a satisfactory defence of its 
fairness, goes on to contend that this signal 
should never be given simply because the 
demandant would rather have trumps played 
upon the whole. He regards it as tantamount 
to saying: **I am so strong that, if you have 
anything to assist me, I answer for the game, 
or, at least, for a great score. Throw all your 
strength into my hand, abandon your own 
game, at least lead me a trump, and leave the 
rest to me." 

So grave does the resulting responsibility ap- 
pear to this master of the art, that, he tells us, 
it is not in his recollection that he ever took 
this liberty with his partner when he held less 
than four trumps, two honors, or five trumps, 
one honor, along with cards in his or (ob- 



64 Wibiet 1Klugget0 

viously) in his partner's hand which made the 
fall of the trumps very plainly advantageous, 
adding : ** I am far from saying, that with the 
strength in trumps which I have described, it 
is always, or even generally, advisable to ask 
for trumps. I have only ventured to lay down 
that which, in my opinion, should be the 
minimum." 

Upon this conventional understanding, a 
partner with two or three trumps should lead 
the best, and if it makes, follow with the next 
best : with ace, queen, and another, lead the 
ace, then the queen, and then the other, unless 
checked by an indication that either adversary 
has no more. With four, unless headed by the 
ace, lead the lowest, with an ace and others, 
the ace. Keeping in view the main object, the 
strengthening of your partner, no player of 
ordinary sagacity can be at a loss how to meet 
a call for trumps. 

In returning a lead, whether in plain suits or 
trumps, if you have not decided strength, you 
should be guided by the same principle of 
self-sacrifice. Having only three originally, 



Wibiet anD TObiets^lplai^ers 65 

you should return the best ; with four or more 
originally, the lowest. Thus, with ace, ten, 
three, and deuce, you should win with the 
ace, and return the deuce. With ace, ten, and 
deuce only, you win with the ace and return 
the ten. This not only strengthens your part- 
ner ; it enables him to count your hand : 

" In trumps, for instance, when he holds one, with 
only one other left against him, he will very frequently 
know, as surely as if he looked into your hand, whether 
that other trump is held by you, or by an adversary. It 
follows from the above that you should not fail to remark 
the card in your own lead, which your partner returns 
to you, and whether that which he plays to the third 
round is higher or lower than that which he returned." 

The principle is partially applicable to origi- 
nal leads. Thus, if you have only two or three 
cards of a suit with nothing higher than a 
knave, lead the highest : if you are compelled 
to lead from ace, king, or queen, and a small 
one, lead the highest ; and it is occasionally 
right with queen and two small ones, to lead 
the queen, thereby giving your partner the 
option of passing it, and at all events strength- 
ening him where you are weak. 

The safest leads are from sequences ; and the 



66 mibist nwQQcte 

rule in dealing with them is to lead the highest 
and put on the lowest.* But there are marked 
exceptions. In all suits, with ace and king, 
you begin with the king ; but in trumps with a 
major sequence of three or more, you begin 
with the lowest, because if the lower are not 
taken, your partner will infer that you have the 
higher ; but if with three or four honors in plain 
suits, you begin with the queen or knave, your 
partner (if weak in trumps) might feel justified 
in trumping. Bearing in mind that the odds 
are four to one against a suit going round a 
third time without a renounce, you will see at 
a glance why a less venturesome course must 
be pursued with plain suits than with trumps ; 
at all events, till trumps are exhausted. Thus, 
you play off your ace and king in a plain suit 
instead of beginning with a small one ; with 
king, queen, and others, you lead the king in 
plain suits, and a small one in trumps. 

There are some other fixed original leads 
(specified in the books) which must be kept in 

* This rule does not apply to jw3-sec[uences. Thus with 
king, ten, nine, eight, you lead the eight. 



mblet auD mbi6t=plasei*6 67 

mind, not only for your own direction in lead- 
ing, but to enable you to draw inferences from 
what your partner or adversary has led. Thus 
with ace and four small cards (in plain suits), 
the ace : with ace and three, the lowest.* With 
ace, queen, knave, with or without others, the 
ace, then the queen. With an honor and three 
or more small cards, or with four or more small 
cards (not headed by a sequence), the lowest. 
For leads further on in the game, you may de- 
rive important information from the discard. 
A good player always discards from his weak 
suit, or from the suit he does not wish led to him. 
There is no commoner or stronger sign of igno- 
rance or inattention than instantly leading, with- 
out a defined motive, the suit from which your 
partner has first thrown away. As the game pro- 
ceeds, also, you will of course prefer leading 
through the strong hand and up to the weak. 
Do not lead to force your partner, or on the 
chance of forcing him, unless you are strong in 

* This is one of the points in which the best Paris play- 
ers differ from the E)nglish. With ace and three small 
cards, they play the ace. Another is in leading from 
king, knave, ten in trumps; they lead the knave; we 
the ten. 



68 TObtst muggeta 

trumps. We say *' or on the chance of forcing,** 
for nothing is more common than after playing 
ace and king, to lead a third round in the hope 
that the partner will win with the queen or 
trump. If he is strong in trumps, this is bad 
either way ; for assuming him to have the best 
card, the odds are that it will be trumped, 
whereas he might have got out trumps and 
made it. 

Mr. Clay lays down that four trumps with an 
honor is the minimum strength that justifies a 
force without a peculiar object, such as securing 
a double ruff or making sure of a trick to win 
or save the game, or unless your partner has 
been forced and has not led a trump, or unless 
he has invited the force, or unless the adversary 
has led or asked for trumps. '* This last excep- 
tion," he says, *'is the slightest of the justifica- 
tions for forcing your partner when you are 
weak in trumps, but it is in most cases a suf- 
ficient apology." We cannot think so. If the 
adversary has led or asked for trumps, and you 
are weak in them, you should do all you can to 
strengthen instead of weakening your partner ; 



imibiat ant) WibisU^l^^cxs 69 

instead of forcing htnij force the trump-asking 
or tnimp-leading adversary. This is the best 
use of good cards when the strength in trumps 
has been declared against 5^ou : but take care 
that it is the ^/r6>;/^ adversary you force. *'It 
follows that there can be but few whist offences 
more heinous than forcing your partner when 
he has led a trump (or refused to trump), and 
you are yourself not very strong in them." 

The following is a golden rule which should 
prevent an infinity of hesitation : ''With four 
trumps, do not trump an uncertain card, t.e,^ 
one which your partner may be able to win. 
With less than four trumps, and no honor, trump 
an uncertain card." With a king and one, or 
the queen and two small trumps also, it is 
clearly wrong to trump an uncertain card, as it 
is when trumps have been played, and you 
have the best trump left, with a losing card to 
throw away. There are occasions also when it 
is advisable to give a trick with the view of 
getting led up to, but Mr. Clay says : " Do not 
give away a certain trick by refusing to ruff, or 
otherwise, unless you see a fair chance of mak- 



70 Mbtst IRuQQcts 



ing two by your forbearance.*' Young players 
should be especially cautioned against giving 
away sure tricks. They sometimes suffer two 
or three tricks to be made in a long suit by 
withholding the long trump, though they have 
nothing else to do with it. 

On the other hand, eagerness to trump with 
strength in trumps shows ignorance or defiance 
of all sound principle ; for you weaken yourself, 
and you deceive your partner, besides depriving 
him of the advantage of his position as fourth 
player, with possibly a commanding tenace. If 
a good player trumps a doubtful card, the in- 
ference is that he is weak in trumps ; if he 
refuses, that he has four at least, or a guarded 
honor ; if he refuses to trump a known winning 
card, take it for granted that he is strong, and 
at the very first opportunity lead a trump. It 
is usual when the ace of trumps is a singleton, 
to lead it at once ; your partner understands 
that you have no more, and has the option of 
resuming the lead and drawing two for one. 
This lead cannot, like a lead from another 
singleton, mislead or entrap your partner. 



By leading a singleton ace in a plain suit, 
besides inviting a force, you give up the chance 
of catching an adversary's honor, and the only 
contingency against you (an improbable one) is 
your partner leading the king. The lead of a 
singleton king is wrong, except in trumps when 
your partner has turned up an ace. Always con- 
sider before leading what inference your part- 
ner will be entitled to draw from your lead, and 
what effect it may have upon his hand, as by 
sacrificing one of his best cards without benefit- 
ing you. 

The play of the Second Hand is more easily 
reducible to rule than that of the first. The 
cases of most frequent application are detailed 
in the books. Mr. Clay says : 

** Playing high cards, when second to play, unless 
your suit is headed by two or more high cards of equal 
value, or unless to cover a high card, is to be carefully 
avoided. 

" With two or three cards of the suit played, cover a 
high card. Play a king, or a queen, on a knave, or ten, 
etc. 

'* With four cards, or more, of the suit played, do not 
cover, unless the second best of your suit is also a valu- 
able card. Thus with a king or queen, and three or 
more small cards, do not cover a high card ; but if, along 



72 llHlbist nnggcU 

with your king or queen, you hold the ten, or even the 
nine, cover a queen or a knave. 

" With king and another, not being trumps, do not 
play your king, unless to cover a high card. 

** With king and another, being trumps, play your 
king." 

The reason he gives for this distinction is, that 
the ace is not generally led from except in 
trumps, but this is only true of the higher order 
of players, who see the value of an ace as a card 
of re-entry. 

**With queen and another," he continues, 
" whether trumps or not, play your small card, 
unless to cover." Despite of this recognized 
maxim, many respectable players are constant- 
ly trying to snatch a trick with the queen, and 
exult in their occasional success ; forgetting 
that the maxim is based on a careful calculation 
of the chances, and that the conventional 
language is confused by contravening it. 

With knave, ten, or nine, and one small card, 
play the small card, unless to cover. With 
king, queen, and one or more small cards, play 
the queen, except in trumps, when circum- 
stances may justify you in giving your partner 



TObtst anD 1imbi6t==ipla^er6 73 



a chance of making the trick. The rationale 

of the general rule, to play your lowest card 

second, is given by Cavendish : 

"You presume that the first hand has led from strength, 
and if you have a high card in his suit, you lie over him 
when it is led again ; whereas, if you play your high 
card second hand, you get rid of a commanding card of 
the adversary's suit, and when it is returned, the 
original leader finesses against you. Besides this the 
third player will put on his highest card, and, if it is 
better than yours, you have wasted power to no purpose." 

In the first lead, therefore, if you have ace 
and queen with strength in trumps, you play a 
small card second hand, and wait for the re- 
turn, the chances being that the lead is from 
the king. If the lead is a knave or any other 
card indicating weakness, put on the ace. Put- 
ting the queen (when you have ace, queen) on 
the knave (a common practice) is simply sacri- 
ficing her if the king is with the third player, 
and uselessly destroying your tenace if the king 
is with the fourth (your partner). The king 
(except in one rare contingency) must be be- 
hind you. The lead of ten or nine may be 
either from weakness or strength ; and (with 
ace, queen) you must be guided by circumstan- 



74 Wbtst nm&cte 

ces, by the usual play of your adversary, by the 
state of your own hand, or (if the lead is not the 
first) by such indications as may have occurred. 
With ace, queen, ten, play the queen. With 
ace, queen, knave, or with ace, queen, knave, 
ten, etc., the lowest of the sequence. With 
ace, king, knave, the king : then (in trumps, 
or if strong in trumps) wait for the chance of 
finessing or of catching the queen. With ace, 
king, and others in plain suits, the king ; in 
trumps the lowest, unless you wish to stop the 
lead and give your partner a ruff. It is per- 
emptorily laid down : '* Play an ace on a knave. '^ 
But surely this cannot be always right in trumps, 
for it gives up the command at once, and ful- 
fils the precise purpose of the leader, which is 
presumably to clear the way for his partner. 
With ace and four small ones, some put on the 
ace second hand for the same reason which in- 
duces them to lead it with the same number of 
the suit. But the cases are essentially distinct ; 
for by playing the ace second hand, you know- 
ingly give up the advantage of lying over the 
leader in his strong suit. In our opinion, it 



Iimblst anD Timb(0ts=ipla^cr6 75 



should not be so played, unless you have more 
than four others of the suit, and are weak in 
trumps. By '' weak '* or "strong " in trumps in 
all such contingencies is meant, are you, or 
(presumably) your partner, strong enough to 
draw the adversary's trumps and prevent the 
reserved cards from being trumped ? You have 
little chance of attaining this desirable object 
with less than four, including the ace or two 
honors, and you will probably come to grief if 
you attempt it with inadequate means. 

The play of the Third Hand involves the the- 
ory of the finesse, on which M. Deschapelles 
has left a fragment which makes us regret the 
want of his great work as we regret the lost 
books of lyivy or the unreported speeches of 
Bolingbroke. "In the high cards," he says, "the 
simple finesse is almost mechanical : nobody 
fails to practise it. There are, however, many 
cases which do not allow of it. We should 
habituate ourselves to keep the organ of atten- 
tion constantly on the qui vive^ so as only to do 
by choice and after balancing the advantages, 
the things which seem to belong to routine. A 



7^> IKIlbist mu^geta 



moment of distraction or forgetfulness, and 
you haply fall into a fault which will ruin your 
reputation. I have seen skilful players finesse 
in a trick which would have given them the 
game, and others commit the same blunder in 
the last trick but one, with a trump in. Censure 
has no mercy for them ; its thousand sharp and 
quick tongues are multiplied to defame you ; 
you cannot appear anywhere for a week without 
running the gauntlet of an exaggerated recital 
and a mortifying inquiry." 

Nor is the punishment one whit too severe. 
In whist clubs or circles, a list of the grossest 
offenders should be hung up for a week, like 
the list of offenders against public decency in 
the parks, or of the defaulters or lame ducks 
on the Stock Exchange. We do not mean such 
offences as forgetting or mistaking a card, but 
such as forcing a partner who has led trumps 
or refused to trump, or finessing in the trick by 
which the game might be saved or won, such, 
in short, as the commonest discretion and the 
merest modicum of good sense would obviate. 
Habitual carelessness also merits severe repre- 



Wibi6t anD mbt6t:*lIMa^er6 77 

hension, such as playing a higher card instead 
of a lower, even a five instead of a four, or 
vice versa, contrary to the fixed rules of the 
game. The last player, not being able to win 
the seven, plays the six ; his partner takes for 
granted that he has no more, refrains from a 
meditated lead of trumps, plays for a ruff 
and finds him with the five ! In a trump lead, 
the third player with ace, six, four, three, 
wins with the ace, returns the four, and after- 
wards plays the three. His partner, taking it 
for granted that he has played the best of fwo 
remaining cards and that the remaining trump, 
the six, is in an adversary's hand, draws it and 
haply loses the game. If he had returned the 
three, and afterwards played the four, his part- 
ner would have known to a certaintj^ that the 
remaining trump was in his hand. 

To the same category belongs the playing 
false cards. "I hold in abhorrence the play- 
ing false cards," is the emphatic denunciation 
of Mr. Clay. With exceptions, which he ad- 
mits, we completely go along with him ; and 
the practice may fairly be called un-Knglish ; 



78 mbiet nwQQcte 

for (he states), * ' French players are dangerously- 
addicted to false cards, and the Americans 
rarely play the right card if they have one 
to play which is likely to deceive everybody. 
They play for their own hands alone — the 
worst fault I know in a whist-player." He 
puts the case of your partner winning with 
the highest instead of the lowest, as with the 
ace instead of the king, whence you assume 
that the king is against you and find the whole 
scheme of your game destroyed. But take the 
every-day case — with the king led presumably 
from ace and king — of dropping the queen 
instead of the knave, in the hope of stopping 
the suit. The suit is stopped, but your partner 
may be mischievously deceived ; for, on your 
having or not having the knave, depends the 
entire quality of your hand and the course of 
combined action he should pursue. False cards, 
therefore should never be played unless at a 
period of the game when your partner is prac- 
tically /lors de combat^ or when he is incapable 
of drawing the ordinary inferences which will 
be drawn by your adversaries. '* Why did you 



mbiet mb Timbt6ts=pla^er6 79 

play that card ? " was the question incautiously 
put to a good player by an astonished by- 
stander. '* For the very sufficient reason," was 
the answer, in a loud stage whisper, ''that my 
partner is a muffy 

Habitual hesitation, also, is a very grave 
fault. It is by turns unfair as enlightening 
your partner and indiscreet as giving hints to 
your adversaries. Indicating the quality of the 
hand in any manner, by word or gesture, should 
be suppressed by a penalty ; and any player 
who says he has the game in his hand, should 
lay his cards on the table and submit to have 
them called. Cards thrown down should always 
be called, for otherwise an unfair advantage is 
obtained; all liability to a mistake in playing 
them being thereby avoided ; and the practice 
should be discountenanced as wasting instead 
of saving both time and temper by the discus- 
sion it creates. Like Mrs. Battle we are de- 
cidedly for '' a clear fire, a clean hearth, and 
the rigor of the game." ^ Unless the laws are 

* Elia. First Series — Hazlitt, although, like a certain 
dignified ornament of the church, constantly in hot 
water, was not equally remarkable for clean hands. 



8o Timblet mugoet6 

regularly enforced, any occasional enforcement 
of them is open to the imputation of an unfair 
advantage ; so that uniform strictness is most 
favorable to a good understanding. 

A moment's pause before the opening — and no 
good player will need more — for the formation 
of a plan is not to be confounded with hesita- 
tion. ''This moment," observes M. Descha- 
pelles, ''will be amply compensated: it may 
save ten ; for the cards will flow rapidly as 
consequences ; your adversaries will be unable 
to draw inferences ; and your partner, catching 
confidence from your self-possession, will be- 
come charged with the electric spark which 
fuses the moi into the intelligent and co-oper- 
ating nous,'''' 

But we are digressing and must return to the 

finesse, which depends so much on inference 

and the state of the score, that few general 

maxims can be laid down. Imprimis^ the only 

finesse permissible in your partner's long suit 

(his first lead) is from ace and queen. If the 

E)lia (Charles I^amb), playing whist with him, dryly ob- 
served : "If dirt was trumps, what hands you would 
hold." 



Timbl6t ant) mbieWS^la^cte si 

queen wins, immediately return the ace in 
trumps, and also in plain suits, unless there are 
symptoms of trumping. In that case, play 
trumps, if you are strong enough ; otherwise 
change the suit, and wait to see what your 
partner will do ; or, if you have a good trump, 
though weak, play it to strengthen him. A 
good player will, of course, finesse more fre- 
quently, and more deeply, in trumps than in 
plain suits, because he is generally sure of 
making the reserved card, and of making it at 
the most favorable moment. Thus, if with ace, 
king, and knave, he finesses the knave and 
loses it, he is still in a better position than if 
he had played his king and left the queen 
guarded and held up behind him. With ace, 
knave, ten (in trumps), the ten may be finessed 
if two immediate rounds are not required. 
When weak in trumps, finesse deeply in the 
suit in which your partner is weak. This, 
though contrary to the general practice, is 
strongly recommended by Mr. Clay. The 
finesse of knave from king, knave, cannot be 

recommended unless your partner has obvi- 
6 



82 ' TObiet nmQcte 

ously led from weakness. Your partner wins 
with the queen and returns the lead with a 
small card : with king, ten, finesse the ten, for 
the ace is certainly held over you, and if the 
knave is in the same hand, you must lose both 
any way. This is an instance of what is called 
the finesse obligatory. 

The chief difficulty of the Fourth Hand is in 
discriminating the rare instances in which the 
trick should not be taken. You have three 
cards left : ace, knave, and a small one ; your 
adversary with king, queen, ten, leads the king. 
If you take the king, you win one trick ; if you 
allow it to make, you win two. There are also 
occasions when you give the trick in order to 
compel the adversary to lead up to you in 
another suit. A common ruse (which Mr. Clay 
strongly condemns) is to hold up the ace when 
you have ace and knave and the adversary has 
led the king from king and queen. This is 
dangerous out of trumps, or unless you are very 
strong in trumps and want to establish the suit, 
and then your partner may trump the second 
round and be carried off on a wrong scent. In 



Wbt6t an^ T3mbi5t*pla^er6 83 



trumps, the opportunity can rarely arise with 
good players. An ace may sometimes be kept 
back with telling effect, not only in trumps, 
but with ace and four small cards in a plain 
suit ; the trumps being out or with you, and 
three tricks required to win or save the game. 
If no other player has more than three, and the 
ace is kept back till the third round, the three 
tricks are secured. 

But an inexperienced player cannot be recom- 
mended to risk a stroke of this kind ; neither 
should we recommend him to resort to under- 
play^ until he has advanced far enough to be 
initiated into the mysteries of the g-rand coup:'' 
Play the plain, unpretending, unambitious 
game, till the higher and finer class of combi- 
nations break upon you. On the other hand, 
don't shun any amount of justifiable risk. If, 
looking to the score and the number of tricks 



* The grand coup is getting rid of a superfluous trump 
which may compel you to win a trick and take the lead 
when you do not want it. It was the master-stroke, the 
coup de Jarnac, of Deschapelles. Underplay is when, re- 
taining the best of a suit, you play a small one in the 
hope that your left-hand adversary will hold up the 
second best and allow your partner to make the trick 
with a lower card. 



TKHblst flu^gete 



on the table, a desperate measure is called for, 
risk it ; if great strength in trumps in your 
partner's hand is required to save the game, 
play your best trump, however weak in them. 
All ordinary rules must be set aside in this 
emergency ; every available force must be in- 
stantly called into the field. Here is the crisis 
in which you must lead the king with only one 
small one in his train : as at Fontenoy and 
Steinkirk, there is nothing for it but for the 
niaison du roi to charge. There are moments 
in whist when a coup d^ceil is wanted like that 
of the dying Marmion : 

" I^et Stanley charge with spur of fire, 
With Chester charge and lyancashire, 
Full upon Scotland's central host, 
Or victory and [England's lost. ' ' 

One of the chosen few being asked what he 
deemed the distinctive excellence of a fine 
player, replied, ** playing to the point." Such 
a player plays almost every hand differently 
without once departing from the conventional 
language of the game. It is an excellence 
rarely attained or appreciated ; and the great 



Timbl6t anD OTbi6t==iIMa^er0 85 

majority of players play on just the same what- 
ever the state of the score or the number of 
tricks already made on either side. They not 
only run risks to secure three tricks when they 
only want one : we have seen a gentleman 
playing for the odd trick with six tricks made 
against him, deliberately give away the seventh 
by declining to trump for fear of being over- 
trumped ! We have seen another take out the 
card that would have won the game, look at it, 
fumble with it, and then put it back again. 
Nelson told his captains at Trafalgar that any 
one of them who did not see his way clearly 
could not go far wrong if he laid his ship along- 
side a ship of the enemy. No whist-player can 
go far wrong who wins a trick when the game 
is growing critical. We do not say with Hoyle : 
** Whenever you are in doubt, win the trick "; 
for we have heard puzzle-headed people appeal 
to this maxim after trumping the leading card 
of their partner's long suit, or trumping a doubt- 
ful card with the solitary guard to a king or 
with one of four trumps which constituted their 
strength. But we say : when you are in doubt 



86 mbist nnggcte 



with the adverse pack of tricks dangerously 
mounting up, win the trick. Hesitation with- 
out knowledge makes matters worse. Instead 
of snatching a grace beyond the reach of art, 
the hesitating player commonly commits a 
blunder beyond the reach of speculation, and 
tempts one to exclaim with Johnson: ''You 
must have taken great pains with yourself, sir ; 
you could not naturally have been so very 
stupid." 

Few readers can have forgotten the bitter 
comment of Rasselas after Imlac had enumer- 
ated the qualities needed to excel in poetry : 
" Knough, thou hast convinced me that no 
human being can ever be a poet." An enu- 
meration of the qualities needed to shine in 
whist might provoke a similar retort. In the 
famous passage which Mr. Disraeli borrowed 
from M. Thiers, describing the qualifications 
and responsibilities of a great commander, we 
find : *' At the same moment he must think of 
the eve and the morrow — of his flanks and his 
reserve : he must calculate at the same time 
the state of the weather and the moral qualities 



Timbi0t auD OTbi6t:=iIMa^er0 87 

of his men. * ^ * Not only must he think 
— he must think with the rapidity of light- 
ning; for on a moment more or less depends 
the fate of the finest combinations, and on 
a moment more or less depends the glory 
or the shame. Doubtless all this may be 
done in an ordinary manner by an ordinary 
man ; as we see every day of our lives ordinary 
men making successful ministers of state, suc- 
cessful speakers, successful authors. But to do 
all this with genius is sublime." 

Something very similar might be said of a 
great whist-player, — indeed, has been said by 
M. Deschapelles, who was himself the great sub- 
lime he drew. He must watch and draw infer- 
ences from three hands besides his own ; he 
must play twenty-six cards instead of thirteen ; 
he must follow the shifting condition of four 
suits ; he must calculate, at the same time, each 
phase of the game, and the moral and mental 
qualities of the players. Are they strong or 
weak, bold or cautious, frank or tricky and 
given to false cards ? He must think with in- 
tuitive rapidity and sagacity. If he miscalcu- 



88 WibxBt tinggcte 

lates, or loses the key to a single combination, 
he is lost. We see ordinary men making tol- 
erably good whist-players, but the fine whist- 
player is as rare as the great commander ; and 
to the beau tdia I one might be applied what the 
Irishman predicated of a finished Irish gentle- 
man — that there would be nothing like him in 
the world, if you could but meet with him. 

Not only did we never meet with or hear of a 
whist-player who could venture to boast with 
Turenne that he never fought a battle that he 
did not deserve to win ; but we have heard an 
excellent one adopt the aphorism, attributed to 
the Iron Duke, that a battle was a game in 
which those who made the fewest blunders won. 
Or a parallel maybe drawn between the paladin 
of the whist-table and the damsel in the Vaude- 
ville who took her married sister's fault upon 
herself, and is thus apostrophized by her 
brother-in-law: "Quoi! vous, Marie, vous, la 
Vertu meme ! " Her reply is exquisite for 
feminine self-knowledge and tact : *' Oh ! la 
Vertu, la Vertu ! tout le monde a ses heures ou 
ses moments.'^ The most consummate skill, 



1imbt6t and mbtst^BMa^ere 



like Virtue herself, is not safe against a slip. 
Did not the late Barl Granville lose a rubber, 
after giving the long odds in thousands, by for- 
getting the seven of hearts ? Did not Henry 
Lord de Roos lose one on which three thousand 
pounds was staked by miscounting a trump ? 
Did not, only the other day, the Daniel or 
Gamaliel of the Arlington fail to detect a palpa- 
ble revoke, to the astonishment and (it must be 
owned) gratification of the by-standers, some 
of whom went home consoled and elevated in 
their own self-esteem by his default ? 

But let no one hurry to the conclusion that 
skill is of minor importance because it is 
sometimes found tripping, or because the fine 
player may be often seen vainly struggling 
against cards, when, like the good man strug- 
gling against adversity, he is a spectacle for the 
gods. ''Human life," writes Jeremy Taylor, 
*4s like playing at tables; the luck is not in 
our power, but the playing the game is. ' ' For 
"playing at tables," read whist. Independent- 
ly of the intellectual gratification, skill will 
prove an ample and material remuneration in 



90 TWlblBt VinggctB 

the long run for the pains bestowed in acquiring 
it. If only one trick per hand were won or lost 
by play, the percentage would be immense ; 
but two or three tricks per hand are frequently 
so won or lost. We have repeatedly in a single 
sitting seen bad players score three or four with 
hands which, held by good players, would in- 
fallibly have made the game. With tolerably 
equal cards, play must turn the balance : with 
fortune pro^ it indefinitely increases the gain ; 
with fortune C07iy it indefinitely diminishes the 
loss. It must have been the effect of irritability 
after losing to bunglers that made high authori- 
ties deny so obvious a truth. We are quite sure 
that in their cooler moments they would agree 
with us. 

A curious piece of evidence bearing on this 
subject was given at the De Roos trial by a dis- 
tinguished whist-player, who stated that he had 
played regularly for about the same stakes dur- 
ing twenty years ; that his winnings had aver- 
aged ;^i,5oo a year, making ^30,000 in the ag- 
gregate, but that he had two consecutive years 
of ill-luck, during which he lost ;^8,ooo. An- 



IKHblet anD WibieUt>l^>QCve 91 



other witness, a captain in the navy, who had 
realized a regular income by his skill, was 
asked whether he was not in the habit of din- 
ing on boiled chicken and lemonade when he 
had serious w^ork in hand ; and the alleged 
training (which he denied) was no imputation 
on his sagacity. No man flushed with food or 
wine, vinoque ciboque gravatus, will play his 
best. 

Although many of the best players play high, 
the highest players are by no means uniformly 
the best. It was stated from melancholy expe- 
rience by De Quincey, that opium-eating in the 
earlier stages produces none of the beneficial 
or pleasurable effects ; not till it has grown 
into a habit does the inspiring or soothing in- 
fluence begin. It is the same with high play, 
which unduly excites and agitates for a season ; 
although, if the purse and constitution hold 
out, it has been known to sharpen the obser- 
vation and concentrate the attention to the 
utmost point which the player's natural capa- 
bilities enable him to reach. But this turning 
a relaxation and a pleasure into a business and 



92 TlHlbi6t Iftug^ete 



a toil, is to be deprecated, not recommended ; 
and a wise man (pecuniary considerations apart) 
would rather give up whist altogether, than be 
compelled to play it under the implied condi- 
tion that he was to keep his mind eternally 
upon the strain. It was this consideration pos- 
sibly that drove Charles James Fox to hazard, 
although he boasted that he could gain ;^4,ooo 
a year at w^hist if he chose to set about 
it. Major Aubrey, who had tried both, de- 
clared that the greatest pleasure in life was 
winning at whist, — the next greatest pleasure, 
losing. 

Women, particularly young women, should 
never play for sums which it is inconvenient to 
them to lose ; and a sum which is immaterial 
to a man of independent means may create an 
alarming deficit in a female budget dependent 
on an allowance of pin-money. The feminine 
organization is opposed to their ever getting 
beyond the excitable perturbed fluttered stage : 
their hands may be read in their faces ; they 
play recklessly to shorten the torment of sus- 
pense ; and it is fortunate if, along with their 



Wibiet anO WihisU^la^ctB 93 



money, they do not lose both their temper and 
their good looks : 

" And one degrading hour of sordid fear, 
Stamp in a night the wrinkles of a year." 

The charge of comparative disregard of truth 

which the male sex, with or without reason, 

are wont to bring against the female, derives 

plausibility from an effect stated by Byron : 

" The pretty creatures fib with such a grace, 
There's nothing so becoming to the face." 

Upon this principle they should certainly 
avoid high play at any game, for there is noth- 
ing so unhecotning to the face. Hogarth's 
print of The Lady^s Lost Stake suggests an- 
other danger, which is also hinted at in The 
Provoked Husband : 

'^ Lord Townley : 'Tis not your ill hours that always 
disturb me, but as often the ill company that occasion 
these hours. 

^^ Lady Townley : Sure, I don't understand you now, 
my lord. What ill company do I keep ? 

** Lord Townley : Why, at best, women that lose their 
money, and men that win it ; or perhaps men that are 
voluntary bubbles at one game in hopes a lady will give 
them fair play at another. ' ' 

When whist is merely taken up as one of the 
weapons of coquetry, there is no great mis- 



94 Timblst nnggctB 



chief to be apprehended ; although kcarti or 
chess would seem more suited to the purpose, 
and give better hope of a situation like that of 
Ferdinand and Miranda. ** Sweet lord, you 
play me false," is ill replaced by '' Sweet lady, 
you have revoked." 

Henri Beyle (Stendhal), musing over an 
interrupted liaison and a lost illusion, ex- 
claims : ''After all, her conduct is rational. 
She was fond of whist. She is fond of it no 
longer : so much the worse for me if I am still 
fond of whist." So much the better for him, 
as he had still an inexhaustible resource ; and 
he would have gained nothing by abandoning 
it. She was no longer fond of whist, because 
she was no longer fond of him. 

It is a common fallacy, mischievously rife 
amongst the fair sex, that without the gift of 
extraordinary memory, it is impossible to be- 
come a good whist-player ; the fact being that 
memory has little or nothing to do with the real 
understanding or finest points of the game. 
What, for instance, has memory to do with the 
opening lead, which has the same relative im- 



TKHblet art^ 'MbisUpln^cvs 95 



portance that Lord Lyndhurst attributed to the 
opening speech in a cause ? What has memory 
to do with trumping or not trumping a doubtful 
card ; or with returning the best with three and 
the lowest with four ; or with returning the 
trump lead immediately ; or with answering 
the call for trumps ; or with taking the trick 
that wins or saves the game ; or with number- 
less emergencies in which you have only to 
look at your hand, the tricks on the table, and 
the score ? 

Of course a certain number of rules and max- 
ims must be learnt ; but it is not more difficult 
to learn these than to learn the Catechism ; and 
a lady might as reasonably complain that she 
could not become a good Christian for want of 
memory, as that she could not become a good 
whist-player by reason of that defect ; which, 
in nine cases out of ten, is purely imaginary. 
People remember well enough what they care 
to remember, or what fixes their attention by 
interesting them. This depends on character, 
habits, and powers of appreciation. Whilst 
the man of cultivated taste and fine sense of 



96 Wibiet nm^cte 

humor is laying up a stock of choice anecdotes 
and fine passages, an old maid in a country 
town will be growing into the living chronicle 
of all the scandalous gossip of the last fifty 
years, complaining all the time of her memory. 
The measures are the same, but the one is filled 
with pearls of price, and the other with glass 
beads and knicknackery. The discriminating 
reminiscent, instead of being envied for memory, 
should be commended for refined observation, 
judgment, quickness of perception, and apropos. 
Alleged forgetfulness at whist, as in most 
other things, is far more frequently inattention 
than forgetfulness. The fall of the cards has 
not been watched, and the proper inferences 
have not been drawn at the moment. A player 
cannot be said to have forgotten what he never 
knew. If, for example, at the end of a second 
round, he had clearly drawn the inference that 
the best card remained with one adversary and 
that the other had no more of the suit, this 
state of things would suggest itself naturally 
and without any effort when the suit was 
played again : 



Wibiet anD Wibieutfl^^cxe 97 

" with care [says Mr. Clay] and with his eyes never 
wandering from the table, each day will add to the indi- 
cations which he will observe and understand. He will 
find that mere memory has less to do with whist than 
he imagines, that it matters little whether the five or 
the six is the best card left of a suit, as long as he 
knows, which he generally ought to know, who has 
that best card. Memory and observation will become 
mechanical to him, and cost him little effort, and all 
that remains for him to do will be to calculate at his 
ease the best way of playing his own and his partner's 
hands, in many cases as if he saw the greater portion 
of the cards laid face upwards on the table. He will 
then be a fine whist-player." 

Without being a fine whist-player, he may 
be a capital second-rate, a thoroughly reliable 
partner, and one with whom no one can be 
dissatisfied to sit down. This is the grand 
point, and this (we repeat) may be attained 
with no more than the average amount of mem- 
ory with which men and women manage to get 
on creditably through life. One of the con- 
fessedly best London whist-players is below 
the average in this particular. Nor will cal- 
ling him so appear paradoxical to any who 
accept M. Deschapelles' division : 

** We will suppose a parabola described by a bombshell, 
of which the culminating point shall be the seventh 
7 



98 mbiet VinggctB 

trick. On this side, it is invention which holds sway ; 
on the other, it is calculation. Attention and memory 
are at the base, whilst sagacity, seated at the top, 
distributes the work, calls by turns on the organs 
that are to complete it, excites and circumscribes 
their efforts, and assigns them at the appointed mo- 
ment the repose necessary to the restoration of their 
strength. * * * When there are no more than five or 
six cards remaining in the hand, the fine and delicate 
faculties of intelligence have resigned and repose. 
Mathematical calculation is at the helm : the simplest 
calculation disengaged from the unknown. 1 hen it 
is that the most commonplace player is entitled to 
claim equality with the finest ; it is a property which 
he has acquired by his labor ; the elements of it are 
open to all the world. They are beyond the domain of 
the aristocracy of the brain and the susceptibility of 
the organs ; beyond that of poetry and imagination ; 
but they are open to all, like the right to breathe and 
speak good prose ! * * * with regard to sagacity, 
how do you know that you are wanting in it ? Do but 
apply your mind to the matter in hand, age quod agis, 
and you will see that you have as much as another. I 
can give as proof the manner in which people lead at 
present ; even at our weakest parties, I am surprised 
to see that it is almost always the right card that is led. 
This is owing to our grande tactique, with which every 
one is imbued." 

The grande tactique is the strong or long-suit 
system ; with which, we regret to say, every 
one is not imbued amongst us, or we should not 
so frequently hear, at the end of along, puzzled, 
and unreflecting pause, '' I really do not know 



I 



WibiBt auD 'Mbi^Upla^cte 99 

what to lead." The lady or gentleman who 
habitually indulges in this apostrophe, had 
better say at once, *' I really do not know 
how to play." 

Every civilized country has had its Augustan 
age or ages. We have had our Elizabethan age, 
our age of Queen Anne, and what was also an 
Augustan age, though yet unnamed — the age 
when Byron, Moore, Scott, Wordsworth, 
Coleridge, Rogers, Sydney Smith, Hallam, 
Brougham, Canning, etc., were the central fig- 
ures of the group. On its being recently re- 
marked that there was nothing now coming on 
to replace what must be soon passing away— 
that almost all the highest reputations in all 
walks are of full twenty years' standing or 
more ; that we have no rising poets, artists, nov- 
elists, or orators, — * * No ! ' ' exclaimed a far-famed 
beauty and wit, ^' and no lady-killers such as I 
remember in my heyday, before whom one felt 
bound to succumb, as the belles of the Spectator 
succumbed to Beau Fielding, when he said of 
them: ' EHes tombent comme des mouches.* " 
Our fair friend, who is also a competent judge 



Mbiet nauggete 



on this subject, might have added : ** And no 
rising whist-players of the first class ; not one 
under middle age, who has given proofs of 
undisputed genius." 

A master of the art who has survived a gen- 
eration, was recently asked who were the best 
whist-players he ever knew. He instantly 
named three : the late Earl Granville, the Hon. 
George Anson, and Henry Lord de Roos. On 
being asked for the fourth he paused, but there 
was no need of hesitation : " Kd io anche sono 
pittore. " No one would have accused him of un- 
due assumption if he had followed the example 
of Lamartine, who, on being asked who was the 
first living French poet, drew himself up with 
an air of offended dignity, and replied, " Moi." 
The palm is popularly considered to lie between 
Lord Henry Bentinck and Mr. Clay ; whose 
styles are so essentially different that an in- 
struccive parallel might be drawn between them 
after the manner of Plutarch. 

The de Roos affair was a sad blow and a tem- 
porary discredit to whist-players, for some of 
them were unluckily seduced into acting on the 



TObiet mb WibieUpl^^^cte loi 

late Ivord Hertford's maxim: "What would 
you do if you saw a man cheating at cards? '' 
** Bet upon him, to be sure." I/ord de Roos' 
methods of aiding his skill were only available 
for one hand in four — when he dealt. He then 
contrived to turn an honor by what is called 
sauter le coupy and having marked the higher 
honors with his nail, he could see to whom they 
fell. During the burst of scandalous comment 
which followed the exposure, one of the ''bitter 
fools" of society, who had never been admitted 
to his intimacy, drawled out at Crockford's : 
** I would leave my card at his house, but I 
fear he would mark it." The retort was ready: 
''That would depend on whether he considered 
it a ^^^^ honor. " This repartee, popularly asr 
signed to I^ord Alvanley — on ne prite qii^aux 
riches — was made by Charles Kinnaird Sheridan 
(the brother of the three gifted sisters of the 
race), whose untimely and deeply regretted 
death, in the bloom of his brilliant youth, was 
a memento niori which not the gayest or most 
thoughtless of his gay contemporaries could 
speedily shake off. 



102 TObi0t mug^eta 

" Manibus date lilia plenis : 
Purpureos spargam fiores, animamque nepotis 
His saltern accumulem donis, et fungar inani 
Munere." 

There is a well authenticated story of I^ord 
Granville's devotion to whist. Intending to set 
out in the course of the afternoon for Paris, he 
ordered his carriage and four posters to be at 
Graham's at four. They were kept waiting till 
ten, when he sent out to say that he should 
not be ready for another hour or two and that 
the horses had better be changed ; they were 
changed three times in all, at intervals of six 
hours, before he started. When the party rose, 
they were up to their ankles in cards, and the 
ambassador (it was reported) was a loser to the 
tune of eight or ten thousand pounds. About 
this time there was a set at Brookes' (lyord 
Sefton, an excellent player, being one) who 
played hundred-guinea points besides bets. We 
still occasionally hear of ^300 and ^500 on the 
rubber, but five -pound points are above the 
average ; and many of the best players are con- • 
tent with two-pound points (ten, bet) at the 
Arlington, and half pounds at the Portland. A 



Mbi6t mt> 'MbieUt^l^^cts 103 

great deal of money is turned on the five to two 
(really nearer three to one) bet on the rubber 
after the first game. 

In Paris (where the rubber counts four) the 
points are comparatively low, much in our 
opinion to the detriment of the game. During 
the period comprised in M. l/ouis Blanc's" 
Histoire des Dix AnSy the stakes at the Cercle 
de r Union were such that Count Achille Dela- 
marre calculated his average rubber at 2oolouis. 
There, and afterwards at the Jockey Club, the 
level rate was two louis and ten bet, but the 
large ad libitum bets became so general that any 
one who cut in without joining in them was 
looked upon as an interloper. The principal 
players at the Union were I/ord Granville (the^ 
English ambassador). Count Meden (the Russian 
ambassador), Comte Walewski, the Due de 
Richelieu, General Michelski, Comte Descha- 
pelles (the author), Comte Achille -Delamarre, 
and M. Bonpierre ; the three last, with Ivord 
Granville, being esteemed the best of the lot. 
Amongst the best Parisian players who have 
subsequently come into the field (of green cloth), 



104 Mblst 1Rucjget6 

are Vicomte Paul Daru, Comte d'Albon, Comte 
d^Andlau, Comte de Malart, Vicomte Ladislas 
de St. -Pierre, and his brother M. Maurice de St- 
Pierre. The highest play during the last two 
or three years has been at the Petit Club de la 
Kue Royale, where it ranges from i and 30, or i 
and 50j up to or about i and 100 louis ; the 
points l)eing stationary and the bets fluctuating. 
The scale of play has been recently raised 
above the usual level at Paris by the very high 
play at baccarat, at which ;^i6,ooohas been lost 
Ijy one person in one night. 

There used to be high play at Berlin- and 
Vienna. Count Palfy won enough at a single 
sitting of Prince John of Lichtenstein to build 
and furnish a chateau. It was shown to the 
loser, who on being asked how he liked it, re- 
plied: " Pas du tout ; cela a tout a fait T air d'un 
chateau de cartes." Count Briihl wrote a treatise 
on whist, which, we regret to say, we have been 
unable to procure in time for this article. There 
is a current anecdote of Count P^echberg, late 
Secretary for Foreign Afifairs in Austria, which 
justifies a surmise that he also is a proficient. 



TObtet ant) mbist^^JMa^ers 105 

His left-hand adversary {proh pudor an 
Englishman) made so desperate though suc- 
cessful a finesse, that his Excellency uttered an 
exclamation of surprise ; whereupon the gentle- 
man offered a bet that the Count himself should 
acknowledge that he had a sound reason for 
his play. It was taken, and he then coolly 
said: "Why, I looked over your hand." 
This gentleman must have graduated under the 
Artful Dodger, who, w^hen playing dummy in 
Pagan's den, is commended for *' wisely regu- 
lating his play by the result of his observations 
on his neighbors' cards." 

Some thirty years since a remarkable set 
used to meet in Berlin at Prince Wittgenstein's, 
including Count Alopeus, the Russian Minister, 
General Nostitz, Sir Henry Bulwer (then at- 
tached to the Berlin embassy), and the Duke 
of Cumberland (afterwards King of Hanover). 
Another of the royal family, the late Duke of 
York, played whist a great deal and lost a 
great deal of money at it, as well he might, for 
he invariably showed whether he was satisfied 
or dissatisfied with his cards, and played them 



To6 mbiat mu99et0 

indifferently into the bargain. He played pony 
points (;f 25) and fifty bet, making the full or 
bumper rubber ;^250. One evening, having 
won three full rubbers of a wealthy parvenu, 
he was reluctantly reminded that there was a 
prior loss of some four thousand pounds to be 
set off. *' No, no," he protested, **that will 
never do. We have nothing to do with old 
scores " ; and the man was fool enough to pay. 
There is no royal road to whist, and as royal 
personages with the best natural dispositions 
tarely submit to be taught, it is fortunate that 
the kingly power has been limited since Canute, 
who had a courtier hanged for checkmating 
him, and would doubtless have had him hanged, 
drawn, and quartered for claiming a revoke at 
whist. This great and wise king had evidently 
come to the conclusion that the occasional 
execution of a courtier pour encourager les 
autres inculcated a moral more practically than 
getting wet feet through the disobedience of 
the waves. 

When Napoleon was at Wiirtemberg, *'he 
used to play whist in the evening, but not for 



TDOlbiet anD WibieUt^la^cve 107 



money, playing ill and inattentively. One 
evening when the queen dowager was playing 
with him against her husband and his daughter 
(the Queen of Westphalia, the wife of Jerome), 
the King stopped Napoleon, who was taking up 
a trick that belonged to them, saying : * Sire, 
on ne joue pas ici en conquerant' " * 

It must be admitted as a partial excuse for 
absolutism in such matters, that the spirit of 
play absorbs or deadens every other thought 
and feeling. Horace Walpole relates that, on 
a man falling down in a fit before the bay win- 
dow of White's, odds were instantly offered 
and taken to a large amount against his recov- 
ery, and that, on its being proposed to bleed 
him^ the operation was vehemently resisted as 

* Diaries of the Lady of Quality, second edition, p. 
128. Frederic the Great was in the habit of kicking 
the shins of the savans who ventured to differ from him. 
When Peter the Great was on a visit of inspection on 
board an English line-of-battle ship at Portsmouth, he 
expressed a wish to witness the operation of ^<?^/- 
hauling ; viihich consists in dragging the subject under 
water from one side of the ship to the other by means 
of a rope passed under the keel. He was told that this 
was contrary to law, so far as Englishmen. were con- 
cerned. " If that is all, you can take one of my suite," 
was his unconcerned rejoinder. It would be pleasing to 
watch the countenance of Sir Edward Cust, or General 
Grey, or one of the I^ords in Waiting, when told off for 
such an experiment by our gracious Sovereign. 



io8 IMbiBt nnggcte 

unfair. When I^ord Thanet was in the Tower 
for the O'Connor riot, three friends were ad- 
mitted to play whist with him, and remain till 
the lock-up hour of eleven. Barly in the sit- 
ting his partner fell back in a fit of apoplexj^ 
and one of the party rose to call for help. 
*'Stop,'' cried another, "we shall be turned 
out if you make a noise ; let our friend alone 
till eleven ; we can play dummy, and he '11 be 
none the worse, for I can read death in his 
face.*' 

The profession of medicine has turned out 
some good whist-players. Three celebrated 
physicians, being, like the surgeons in Zeluco^ 
at a loss how to fill up the time it was thought 
decent to occupy on the case of a noble patient, 
set to at dummy. The patient, if there had 
really been much the matter with him, would 
have found himself in the predicament of the 
survivor of the Horatii : 

' * Que vouliez-vous qu'il fit centre trois ? 

Qu'ilmour^t." 

The clergy, especially in the West of Bug- 
land, were formerlv devoted to whist. About 



Timbl6t mb limbtst^ipla^ere 109 



the beginning of the century there was a whist 
club in a country town of Somersetshire, com- 
posed mostly of clergymen, that met every 
Stmday evening in the back parlor of a barber. 
Four of these were acting as pall-bearers at the 
funeral of a reverent brother, when a delay 
occurred, from the grave not being ready, or 
some other cause, and the coffin was set down 
in the chancel. By way of whiling away the 
time, one of them produced a pack of cards 
from his pocket and proposed a rubber. The 
rest gladly assented, and they were deep in 
their game, using the coffin as their table, 
when the sexton came to announce that the 
preparations were complete. We have care- 
fully verified the fact that they played long 
whist, and we suspect that whist has been less 
popular in the church since the introduction 
of short, by reason of its inferior gravity. The 
principle is indicated by Sydney Smith in his 
qualified defence of angling. ''I give up fly- 
fishing ; it is a light, volatile, dissipated pur- 
suit. But ground-bait, with a good steady 
float that never bobs without a bite, is an occu- 



TKHbiet fPinggcte 



pation for a bishop, and in no way interferes 
with sermon-making.'' 

We have seen short whist played by a mem- 
ber of the episcopal body, and a very eminent 
one, the venerable Bishop of Bxeter (Phill- 
potts), one adversary being the late Dean of St. 
Paul's (Milman), the other an American diplo- 
matist, and his partner a distinguished for- 
eigner whose whist is hardly on a par with his 
scientific acquirements and social popularity. 
The two dignitaries played a steady, sound 
orthodox game. The Bishop bore a run of ill 
luck like a Christian and a bishop, but when 
(after the diplomatist had puzzled him by a 
false card) the Count lost the game by not 
returning his trump, the excellent prelate 
looked on the verge of bringing the rubber to a 
conclusion as he once brought a controversy 
with an archbishop, namely, by the bestowal 
of his blessing ; which the archbishop, appar- 
ently apprehensive of its acting by the rule of 
contraries, earnestly entreated him to take 
back. 

The famous ** Billy Butler," vicar of Framp- 



mibiet anD WibieUt^la^cv6 m 

ton, got the offer of a rich piece of preferment 
by finding a fox in the **open" when the 
Prince of Wales (afterwards George IV.) was 
anxious for an easy run. Many a good living 
has been gained by whist-playing, this being 
considered an indispensable qualification by 
discerning patrons (lay and episcopal) in the 
olden time. Our own opinion is that, if the 
spirit of the times no longer admits of its being 
exacted in candidates for holy orders, the being 
well up in Cavendish or Clay should command 
a handsome number of marks in all competitive 
examinations, civil and military. We throw 
out this suggestion for the serious consideration 
of the Cabinet ; especially of Mr. Gladstone, 
Mr. Bright, and Mr. Lowe. 

Abraham Hayward, 

in Fraser^s Magazine. 




THE THIRTY-NINE ARTICLES OF 
WHIST.* 

T^HK following RulcvS of Whist are based on 

* the principle of American Leads as devel- 
oped by ** Cavendish," and Mr. N. B. Trist, of 
New Orleans, and are compiled for players who 
have some knowledge of the game. The chief 
features of the American Leads are as follows : 
I. A low card led indicates three cards higher 
than the one led. 2. A high card led, followed 
by a low one, indicates two cards remaining, 
higher than the second card led. 3. A high 
card led, followed by another high card, always 
gives some information as to the number of 
cards in the suit : sometimes the exact number. 

ORIGINAI^ IvKADS. 
1. The best tactics at Whist aim at establishing a lonjjf 
suit, in order to bring in the remaining cards after 

♦ By the courtesy of Richard Irving Dunbar. 

IZ2 



XLbc Ebirt^=ninc Brticlee of mbtet 113 

trumps have been exhausted. Therefore the orifi^inal 
lead should be from the longest suit, unless that suit be 
of four cards only, headed by one lower than the Nine. 

2. The lead of the AC^ indicates length (that is, at 
least five cards), or Queen-Knave. Always lead Ace 
with more than four in suit, except with head sequence. 

If you have already trumped, however, always 
lead Ace with Ace-King, irrespective of length. If 
your partner be short, he might trump in order to 
establish a cross-rufF. 

3. The KING indicates Ace or Queen (or both), and 
never more than four in the suit. 

4. The QUKEN indicates Ace-King and length. King 
and length, or the head of a sequence. 

5. The KNAVE) indicates sequence to King or Ace, 
with length ; or the highest of a short suit. 

6. The TKN indicates King and Knave, with or with- 
out the Nine ; or the highest of a short suit. 

7. In all other cases the FOURTH-BEST is led. 

8. If you open a lon^: suit after trumps have been 
exhausted, usually lead as in trumps (q. 7a). 

9. Should the long suit be of four cards headed by one 
lower than the Nine, open the best three-card suit, one 
in sequence if possible ; generally leading the highest, 
except when holding a Tenace ; or Ace and Knave ; or 
Ace, King, or Queen, as the only high card : then lead 
the lowest. 

Always lead the highest of a short suit, if the 
previous play has shown it to be your partner's 
long suit. 



114 Mbl6t mug^ete 



SUBSEQUENT I^EADS. 

10. If following- up original lead, usually play the 
best card. 

11. If without the best card, follow with original 
fourth-best, unless having held originally three or 
more high cards : then lead one of the remaining high 
cards. 

But, with King-Queen and length, if the Queen 
win, follow with fourth-best of the remaining cards. 

12. After leading a high card, if left with two or 
three high cards that are "indifferent" (that is, of 
equal trick-taking value), show length in suit by lead- 
ing the lower; e. g., (a) with Ace-Queen-Knave, lead 
Ace and follow with Queen if having held originally 
three or four ; and with Knave if having held five or 
more ; (b) with King-Queen-Knave and length, lead 
Knave (even if one of the other cards be the Ten) ; 
follow with King if having held five ; with Queen if 
having held six or more. 

13. The Ace as a secondary lead, followed by the 
King, indicates no more in the suit and a desire to ruflf. 

TRUMP I.EADS. 

14. The best use to which you can put a strong trump 
suit is to play it out, to remove the only obstacle to 
making tricks in the long plain suits. 

15. With seven or more trumps, usually lead as in 
plain suits. With less than seven, lead the fourth- 



ttbe Zbivt^^ninc articles of TOlbtet 115 



best, unless with at least three honors. Exceptions : 

(a) with King-Queen-Ten and two or more small cards, 

lead Queen ; if without the Ten, lead fourth-best, unless 

with seven in the suit; (b) lead the highest of a sequence, 

headed by Queen or Knave, regardless of length. 

The turn-up card may also modify the lead. And, 
of course, you may finesse more deeply in trumps 
than in plain suits. 

16. Make trumps your original lead, having five or 
more, even if without an honor, except when void in a 
suit or with a singleton. But, with five small trumps, a 
moderate plain suit, and no high cards in the other 
suits, it is better to lead from the long plain suit, unless 
your partner has shown strength. 

17. Rarely lead from a suit of four trumps unless very 
strong in other suits, or with three cards in each, or 
until you have established a suit. 

Be cautious in leading trumps if your adversaries 
have also established a suit. Under these condi- 
tions, success will follow the side that first forces 
the strong hand. 

Should your first lead be after an adversary has 
established a long strong suit, or after j^our partner 
has opened a four-card or weak long suit, generally 
do not lead trumps, even if strong in them, but try 
to utilize your partner's trumps by forcing him. 

18. I^ead trumps, when weak in them, only when 
holding commanding strength in all plain suits, or to 
stop a cross-ruff. But having a very poor hand, with 
the score against you, 3—0 or 4 — o, generally lead 
trumps : for unless your partner has a strong hand the 
game is lost. 



ii6 mbiet nuQQcte 



RETURN IvKADS. 

19. Usually return at once your partner's lead, except 
(a) when j'^ou have a strong suit of your own ; (b) when 
you have taken the trick cheaply ; (c) when your trump 
suit is strong- enough to warrant opening it. 

20. Having held originally three cards in your part- 
ner's suit, return the higher ; having held more, return 
the lowest. 

If left with the best card, however, always play it ; 
or if with second- and third-best, always return the 
highest, irrespective of length. 

PI^AY OF SECOND HAND. 

21. Usually play lowest card, second hand. 

22. Holding cards such that you would, if first player, 
lead high, usually play high, second hand ; except with 
Ace and four small cards. Play the lowest of indifferent 
high cards. 

23. Holding Ace, Queen and more, play Queen only 
when Nine or Ten is led, unless very long in suit and 
weak in trumps. 

24. Holding Ace-Queen-Ten, usually play Queen when 
any low card is led ; except in trumps, when play Ten. 

25. Cover an honor with the best card only, unless you 
hold a " fourchette," z. <?., a card next higher and one 
next lower than the card led, when always cover. 

26. Holding King and one small card, play King only 
when Nine is led ; or the Kight, when your small card 
is the Nine. 



Ubc Zbitt^^ninc Brticlee of Wibiet 117 

27. Holding Queen and one small card, play Queen 
only when Nine or Ten is led. 

28. The fourth-best card of a suit being led, the leader 

holds three cards higher. If the number of pips on the 

card thus led be subtracted from eleven, the remainder 

will be the number of cards out against the leader, 

higher than the card led. When a fourth-best card is 

led, therefore, if the number of pips on that card added 

to the number of higher cards held by you makes 

eleven, cover with the lowest of the high cards, since 

you hold all the high cards not in the leader's hand.* 

The rule is the same when Ace is led, followed by 
the original fourth-best. 

29. Holding desi card in the second round of a suit, 
usually play it. 

PI,AY OF THIRD HAND. 

30. Generally play your best card on your partner's 
original lead. 

31. But, with Ace and Queen, play Queen. This is an 
imperative ^«(?^5^. 

32. Never play Ace on partner's lead of King or 
Queen ; but if holding only one other card, Ace may be 
played on Knave. 

33. Rarely play Queen on your partner's lead of Nine, 
and never on his lead of Ten. 

34. But always avoid being left after the second round 

* This rule was first worked out by Mr. R. F. Foster, 
of New York, and afterwards independently discovered 
by Mr. K. F. M. Benecke, of Oxford, England, who was 
the first to make it public. 



ii8 TObt6t mu^gets 



with the best card only of your partner's suit, if he has 
shown length as well as strength. Therefore, with 
three cards originally, take the second trick ; with four 
cards, retain the lowest as long as you can. 

35. Rarely finesse in the second round, holding best 
and third best. 

THK SIGNAI,. 

36. When you wish your partner to lead trumps, 
throw an unnecessarily high card on his or the adver- 
sary's lead, following it with a lower card when you 
next play a card of the same suit. 

37. In answering a call for trumps, lead the highest 
of two or three cards, the lowest of four or more ; unless 
holding the Ace, which should always be led. 

THE :echo. 

38. When your partner has called for trumps and you 
have numerical strength, you should also call if oppor- 
tunity oflfer. If you trump with a card higher than that 
which you afterward play, he will understand that you 
held four or more trumps originally. 

THE DISCARD. 

39. The original discard should always be from the 

weakest suit, unless great strength in trumps has been 

declared against you ; when discard from your best 

protected suit. This rule generally holds good even 

if your partner has also shown strength in trumps. 

Remember that indication of suit is given by original 
discard only. 



tLbc trbfrti^s=nlne Brtlclee of Mbtst ng 



GKNKRAI, REMARKS. 

A. !Endeavor to play in harmony with your partner ; 
that is, never consider your own hand as separate from 
his. 

B. It is better to inform your partner than to deceive 
your adversary ; therefore rarely play a false card. 

C. Your first object should be to save the game, if it 
appear in danger ; your next to win it, if you have a 
reasonable chance of success. 

D. Never play a singleton as original lead. 

K. Rarely force your partner unless you hold four 
trumps, including an honor ; or unless your partner 
has shown weakness in trumps. 

F. Force the adversary's strong trump hand, unless 
both adversaries have renounced. 

G. If strong in trumps rarely trump a doubtful card, 
but trump fearlessly if weak. ^ 

H. If your partner refuse to trump a sure winning 
card, lead trumps. 

I. When you have nothing better to do, lead up to the 
weak, or through the strong hand of the adversary. 

J. In playing for the odd trick, the violation of estab- 
lished rules is sometimes justifiable; e. g., leading a 
singleton ; forcing your partner when weak in trumps ; 
refraining from leading trumps when very strong; 
refusing \.o finesse ; playing a false card ; etc. 

Richard Irving Dunbar. 



**!&& 




RHYMING RULES, MNEMONIC 

MAXIMS, AND POCKET 

PRECEPTS. 

BEING SHORT MEMORANDA OF IMPORTANT 
POINTS TO BE KEPT IN MIND BY THOSE 
WHO WOUIyD PRACTISE THE MODERN SCI- 

ENTIEIC GAME OE WHIST. 

• 

IF you the modern game of whist would know, 
From this great principle its precepts flow : 
Treat your own hand as to your partner's joined, 
And play, not one alone, but both combined. 

Your first lead makes your partner understand 
What is the chief component of your hand ; 
And hence there is necessity the strongest. 
That your first lead be from your suit thaVs 
longest, 

1 20 



IRbi^ming IRules 



In this, with ace and kingy lead king^ then ace ; 

With king and queen^ king also has firet place ; 

With ace^ queen^ knave^ lead ace and then the 
queen ; 

With acCy four small ones, ace should first be 
seen ; 

With queen^ knave^ ten, you let the queen pre- 
cede ; 

In other cases you the lowest lead. 

Bre you return your friend's, your own suit play ; 
But trumps you must return without delay. 

When you return your partner's lead, take pains 
To lead him back the best your hand contains, 
If you received not more than three at first ; 
If you had more, you may return the worst. 

But if you hold the master card you 're bound 
In most cases to play it second round. 

Whene'er you want a lead, 'tis seldom wrong 
To lead up to the weak, or through the strong. 

In second hand, your lowest should be played, 
Unless you mean, ** trump signal " to be made : 
Or if you've king and que en ^ or ace arid king^ 
Then one of these will be the proper thing. 



122 imbiBt "Umgcte 

Mind well the rules for frumps, you^l often 

need- them : 
When you hoi.d five, 'tis airways right 

to i^ead them ; 
Or if the lead won't come in time to you, 
Then signal to your partner so to do. 

Watch also for your partner's trump request, 
To which, wilk less than four, play out your best. 

To lead through honors turned up is bad play. 
Unless you want the trump suit cleared away. 

When, second hand, a doubtful trick you see, 
DonH trump it if you hold m.ore trumps than 

three ; 
But having three or less, trump fearlessly. 

When . weak in trumps yourself, don't force 

your friend. 
But always force the adverse s>\xou% trump hand. 

For sequences, stern custom has decreed 
The lowest you must play, if you don't lead. 

When you discard, weak suit you ought to 

choose. 
For strong ones are too valuable to lose. 

W11.I.IAM Poi,E. 




THE DUFFER'S WHIST MAXIMS. 

'• Printed for the benefit of families, and to prevent 
scolding."— -Bob Short. 

I. Do not confuse your mind by reading a 
parcel of books. Surely you've a right to play 
your own game, if you like. Who are the peo- 
ple that wrote these books? What business 
have they to set up their views as superior to 
yours? Many of these writers lay down this 
rule : ** I^ead originally from your strongest 
suit '* ; don't j^ou do it, unless it suits your hand. 
It may be good in some hands, but it does n't 
follow that it should be in all. Lead a single 
card sometimes, or, at any rate, from your 
weakest suit, so as to make your little trumps 
when the suit is returned. 
123 



124 TObl6t IRug^ets 



By following this course in leads, you will 
nine times out of ten ruin both your own and 
your partner's hands ; but the tenth time you 
will perhaps make several little trumps, which 
would have been useless otherwise. In addition 
to this, if sometimes you lead from your strong- 
est suit, and sometimes from your weakest, it 
puzzles the adversaries, and they never can tell 
what you have led from. 

2. Seldom return your partner's lead ; you 
have as many cards in your hand as he has it 
is a free country, and why should you submit 
to his dictation ? Play the suit you deem best, 
without regard to any preconceived theories. 

It is an excellent plan to lead out first one 
suit and then another. This mode of play is 
extremely perplexing to the whole table. If 
you have a fancy for books, you will find this 
system approved by **J. C." He says: **You 
mystify alike your adversaries and your partner. 
You turn the game upside down, reduce it to 
one of chance, and, in the scramble, may have 
as good a chance as your neighbors." 

3. Especially do not return your partner's 



TOe Dutfer'6 TKDibist /IRajtms 125 

lead in trumps, for not doing so now and then 
turns out to be advantageous. Who knows but 
you may make a trump by holding it up, which 
you certainly cannot do if your trumps are all 
out ? Never mind the fact that you will gener- 
ally lose tricks by refusing to play your part- 
ner's game. 

Whenever you succeed in making a trump 
by your refusal, be sure to point out to your 
partner how fortunate it was that you played 
as you did. 

Perhaps your partner is a much better player 
than you, and he may on some former occasion, 
with an exceptional hand, have declined to 
return your lead of trumps. Make a note of 
this. Remind him of it if he complains of 
your neglecting to return his lead. It is an 
unanswerable argument. 

4. There are a lot of rules, to which, how- 
ever, you need pay no attention, about leading 
from sequences. What can it matter which 
card of a sequence you lead? The sequence 
cards are all of the same value, and one of them 
is as likely to win the trick as another. Be- 



126 TRUbist Iftu^aeta 

sides, if you look at the books, you '11 find the 
writers don't even know their own minds. 
They advise in some cases that you should lead 
the highest, in others the lowest, of the se- 
quence ; and in leading from ace, king, queen, 
they actually recommend you to begin with the 
middle card. Any person of common sense 
must infer from this that it don't matter which 
card of a sequence you lead. 

5. There are also a number of rules about 
the play of the second, third, and fourth hands, 
but they are quite unworthy serious considera- 
tion. The exceptions are almost as numerous as 
the rules, so if you play by no rule at all you 
are about as likely to be right as wrong. 

6. Before leading trumps always first get rid 
of all the winning cards in your plain suit. 
You will not then be bothered by the lead after 
trumps are out, and you thus shift all the re- 
sponsibility of mistakes on to your partner. But 
if your partner has led a suit, be careful when 
you lead trumps to keep in your hand the best 
card of his lead. By this means, if he goes on 
with his suit, you are more likely to get the 



trbe 5)uttet'0 Wihiet /iRa^lms 127 

lead after trumps are out, which, the books say, 
is a great advantage. 

7. Take every opportunity of playing false 
cards, both high and low. For by deceiving 
all round you will now and then win an extra 
trick. It is often said, *' Oh, but you deceive 
your partner. " That is very true. But, then, 
as you have two adversaries and only one part- 
ner, it is obvious that by running dark you play 
two to one in your own favor. Besides this, it 
is very gratifying, when your trick succeeds, to 
have taken. in your opponents, and to have won 
the applause of an ignorant gallery. If you play 
in a commonplace way, even your partner 
scarcely thanks you. Anybody could have 
done the same. 

8. Whatever you do, never attend to the 
score, and don't watch the fall of the cards. 
There is no earthly reason for doing either of 
these. As for the score, your object is to make 
as many as you can. The game is five, but, if 
you play to score six or seven, small blame to 
you. Never mind running the risk of not get- 
ting another chance of making even five. Keep 



128 TMlblst 1Flugget6 

as many pictures and winning cards as you can 
in your hand. They are pretty to look at, and 
if you remain with the best of each suit you ef- 
fectually prevent the adversaries from bringing 
in a lot of small cards at the end of the hand. 
As to the fall of the cards, it is quite clear that 
it is of no use to watch them ; for if everybody 
at the table is trying to deceive you, in accord- 
ance with Maxim 7, the less you notice the 
cards they play the less you will be taken in. 

9. Whenever you have ruined your hand 
and your partner's by playing in the way here 
recommended, you should always say that it 
'*made no difference." 

It sometimes happens that it has made no 
difference, and than your excuse is clearly 
valid. And it will often happen that your part- 
ner does not care to argue the point with you, 
in which case your remark will make it clear to 
everybody that you have a profound insight in- 
to the game. If, however, your partner chooses 
to be disagreeable, and succeeds in proving you 
to be utterly ignorant of the first elements of 
whist, stick to it that you played right, that 



XLbc Dutrer'6 TDClbtet /Iftajlms 129 

good play will sometimes turn out unfortu- 
nately, and accuse your partner of judging by 
results. This will generally silence him. 

10. Invariably blow up your partner at the 
end of every hand. It is not only a most gentle- 
manlike employment of spare time, but it gains 
you the reputation of being a first-rate player. 

Cavendish's Card Essays, 





WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY?* 



ON THINGS IN GENERAI.. 

* The time has come,* the walrus said, 
' To talk of many things.' " 



TO become a fair whist-player,t no wonder- 
ful attributes are required : common- 
sense, a small amount of knowledge, — easily 
Sicquiredy— ordinary observation of facts as they 
occur y and experience, the result of that observa- 
tion, — not the experience obtained by repeating 
the same idiotic mistakes year after year, — are 
about all. To save you trouble, the experience 

* By permission of the author, and of G. K. Waters, 
I^ondon, Eng., and of Messrs. Roberts Brothers, Boston. 

t Not a fine whist-player ; for this is a rare bird, much 
more rare than a black swan (these can be bought any 
day at Jamrach's by the couple, but even in the present 
hard times when, I am informed, the markets are glut- 
ted with everything, he has not one fine whist-player in 
stock) : to him, in addition to common-sense and atten- 
tion, genius and a thorough knowledge of Cavendish 
are essential. 

130 



imibtett or aSumblepuppi^-? 131 

of all the best players for the last hundred years 
has been collected into a series of maxims, 
which you will find in any whist-book. These 
maxims you should know^; but though you 
know every maxim that ever was written, and 
are *' bland, passionate, deeply religious, and 
also paint beautifully in water-colors, ' ' if among 
your other virtues the power of assimilating 
facts as they occur is not included, this will not 
avail you in the least. 

Bumblepuppy — according to its own account 
— demands much more superfine qualities : 
e. g,y inspiration, second-sight, instinct, an in- 
tuitive perception of false cards and singletons, 
and an intimate acquaintance with a mysterious 
and Protean bogey called *' the game," — in 
short, everything but reason f (all these fine 

* " Although these maxims may occasionally speak of 
things never to be done, and others always to be done, 
you must remember that no rules are without exception, 
and few more open to exceptional cases than rules for 
whist."— Clay. 

t Just as orthodoxy has been delined to be your own 
doxy, so "the game" usually means, "your own idea 
of the game at the time." 

I have called it Protean because it assumes so many 
different forms (being mainly based on results), and, 
like the nigger's little pig, runs about to such an extent 
that it is impossible to get a clear view of it. 



132 • Wibiet MmQcte 

words, when boiled and peeled, turn out some- 
times to mean ordinary observation, but more 
usually gross ignorance). So much for its 
theory ; its practice is this : 

PRACTICE OF BUMBIvEPUPPY. 

" This is an anti-Christian game, 
Unlawful both in thing and name."— If udtbras. 

(i) Lead a singleton whenever you have one. 

(2) With two small trumps and no winning 
card, lead a trump. 

(3) Rufif a suit of which your partner clearly 
holds the best, if you are weak in trumps. 

(4) Never ruff anything if you are strong. 

(5) Never return your partner's trump if you 
can possibly avoid it, unless he manifestly led it 
to bring in a suit of which you led a singleton. 

(6) Deceive him whenever you get a chance. 

(7) Open a new suit every time you have the 
lead. 

(8) Never pay any attention to your partner's 
first discard, unless it is a forced discard. Lead 
your own suit. 



mbiet, or ffiumblepuppis 7 133 



(9) Never force him under any circumstances 
unless you hold at least five trumps with two 
honors ; even if you lose the rubber by it, play 
*'the game! " 

(10) Devote all your remaining energies to 
looking for a signal in the last trick. If you 
are unable to discover which was your partner's 
card, — after keeping the table waiting for two 
minutes, — lead him a trump on suspicion. 



Play all your cards alike, without emphasis 
or hesitation ; how can you expect your partner 
to have any confidence in your play when it is 
evident to him from your hesitation that you 
have no confidence in it yourself? 

If your partner renounces, and you think fit 
to inquire whether he is void of the suit, do so 
quietly ; don't offer a hint for his future guid- 
ance by glaring or yelling at him. 

Don't ask idiotic questions. If you led an 
ace, and the two, three, and four are played to 
the trick, what is the use of asking your partner 
to draw his card ? If you hold all the remain- 



134 Mbfat muggete 



ing cards of a suit, why inquire whether he has 
any? 

Don't talk in the middle of the hand.^ How- 
ever you may be tempted to use bad language, 
— and I must admit the temptation is often very 
great, — always recollect that though your Latin 
grammar says " humanum est irasci,''' the anti- 
dote grows near the bane ; for — at the bottom 
of the very preceding page — it also says ''^ pii 
orant tacitiy 

" 'T is best sometimes your censure to restrain." 

Pope. 

The wisest man who ever lived says : " He that 
holdeth his peace is counted wise, and he that 
shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of under- 
standing." Such a reputation appears cheap 



* " Though ' whist ' is reported to be an old Eng-lish 
word meaning * silence,' and though it is advisable for 
many reasons that it should be played with reasonable 
(luiet, it is not at all compulsory to conduct yourself as 
if in the monastery of I^a Trappe : you have a perfect 
right— as far as the laws of whist are concerned— to dis- 
cuss at any time the price of stocks, the latest scandal, 
or even the play going on, ' provided that no intimation 
whatever, by word or gesture be given as to the state of 
your own hand or the game.' ^^— Etiquette of Whist. 

At bumblepuppy you had better waive this right alto- 
gether ; for if under any circumstances you open your 
mouth, you will infallibly put your foot into it. 



Mbf6t, or JSumblepupp^ ? 135 



at the price ; but if you are of the opinion of J. 
P. Robinson, that 'Hhey didn't know every- 
thing down in Judee," you can call your part- 
ner any names you like as soon as the hand is 
over.* You need not be at all particular what 
for ; any crime of omission or commission — 
real or fancied — will do. If, after the game is 
over, you discover that it might have been 
saved or won by doing something different, 
however idiotic, grumble at him.f 



*" Avoid playing with those who instruct, or rather 
find fault, while the hand is playing. They are gener- 
ally unqualified by ignorance, and judge from conse- 
quences ; but, if not, advice while playing does more 
harm than good." — Mathews. 

**The empty vessel makes the greatest sound." — 
Shakespeare 

" Talking over the hand after it has been played is not 
uncommonly called a bad habit and an annoyance : I am 
firmly persuaded it is one of the readiest ways of learn- 
ing whist."— Clay. 

t " ' O dreary life ! ' we cry, ' O dreary life ! ' 
And still the generations of the birds 
Sing through our sighing, and the flocks and 
herds 
Serenely live while we are keeping strife." 

" The education of the whist-player is peculiar. How 
he becomes a whist-player, nobody knows. He never 
learns his alphabet or the catechism, or anything that 
he ought to do. He appears full-g-rown, mushroom-like. 
He remembers some one blowing him up for doing 
something he ought not to have done, and somebody 
else blowing him up for not doing something else ; and 



136 mbt6t muggets 

It is quite legitimate to revile him for not 
playing cards he never held : if he should have 
the temerity to point out that the facts are 
against you, revile the facts. 

If there is really a diabolical mistake in the 
case, and you happen to have made it yourself, 
revile him with additional ferocity. 

Failing any other grievance, you can always 
prove to demonstration — and at interminable 
length — that if his cards, or your cards, or both 

he is blown up to the end of the chapter. This phase 
of being blown up is varied by grumbling, sometimes 
aloud, sometimes sotto voce ; so that the whist-player is 
reared on scolding and grumbling as other youngsters 
are reared on pap Truly this is a happy life. Some 
men grumble on principle because it is a national privi- 
lege, and they avail themselves of the Englishman's 
birthright. 

' A sect whose chief devotion lies 
In odd perverse antipathies ; 
In falling out with that or this, 
And finding somewhat still amiss ; 
More peevish, cross, and splenetic 
Than dog distract, or monkey sick.' — Hudibras. 

Some do it because they believe, that, if they grumble 
enough, it will bring them luck. Some do it in the hope 
that they will excite sympathy, and that their friends 
will feel for their ill-fortune, which, by-the-by, whist- 
plavers never do. Some grumble to annoy their friends, 
and we are bound to say these succeed." — Westminster 
Papers. 

" The croaking nuisance lurked in every nook ; 
And the land stank— so numerous was the fry." 

COWPER. 



THIlblat, or aSumblepuppi^? 137 

your cards, had been just the reverse of what 
they were, the result would have been different. 
This certainly opens a wide field for specula- 
tion ; but it is neither an instructive nor enter- 
taining amusement, though it kills time. 

There is a theory, which, according to some 
evil-disposed persons, may easily be made too 
much of, — the injury to yourself being remote 
and doubtful, while the gratification of annoy- 
ing him is certain and immediate, — that abus- 
ing your partner, as having a tendency to make 
him play worse, is a mistake from a pecuniary 
point of view. Of course it is a mistake, but 
not for such a paltry reason as that : take a 
higher standpoint ! Whether you are winning 
or losing, — 

** You should never let 
Your angry passions rise." — Watts. 

Don't cry ! 

*' 111 betides a nation when 
She sees the tears of bearded men." 

And you will have a beard yourself some 
time, if you don't lead the penultimate of 
five. Without exciting the slightest sympathy 



138 mbi6t muggets 

on the part of an unfeeling public, crying de- 
ranges the other secretions. The lyaureate says, 
tears are idle, and professes ignorance of their 
meaning : if he played whist, he would know 
that they injure the cards and make them sticky. 

Don't play out of your turn, nor draw your 
card before that turn comes. 

Don't ride a hobby to death ! In ordinary 
whist three prevailing hobbies are so cruelly 
over-ridden that I am surprised the active and 
energetic Mr. Col am has never interfered : 
these are : 

(i) The penultimate of a long suit ; 

(2) The signal for trumps ; 

(3) Not forcing your partner unless you are 
strong in trumps — under any circumstances. 

The first is nothing but a nuisance.* The 
second is stated to simplify the game, and to 
cause greater attention to be paid to it : prac- 

* " They are intent on some wretched crotchet like 
th e lowest but one " 

*' Every time he can lead a lowest but one. no matter 
what the state of the game or the score, that lead he is 
sure to make ; and we believe there are some neophytes 
who would lose their money with pleasure if they could 
only tell their partners afterwards that they had led the 
lowest but one." — Westminster Papers. 



XKIlbl6t, oc JBumblepuppis ? 139 



tically the entire time of the players is taken 
up either in devising absurd signals, or in 
looking for and failing to see them. The third 
is responsible for losing about as many 
games as anything I am acquainted with, 
though the constant and aimless changing of 
suits runs it close. 

Is it any reason — because you have no trumps 
— that you should announce that circumstance 
early in the hand to the general public, and 
prevent your partner making one ? If he has 
them all, you cannot injure him ; if he has not, 
the adversaries will play through him and 
strangle him : how is it that you are afraid to 
let your partner make a certain trick, but you 
are never afraid to open a new suit ? 

There is an impression abroad that there is a 
law of whist somewhere to this effect : *^ Never 
force your partner at any stage of the 'game un- 
less you yourself are strong in trumps." 

IvCt us see what the authorities say on the 
point : 

" Keep in mind that general maxims pre-suppose 
the game and hand at their commencement, and that 



I40 mbiBt nwQgctB 

material changes in them frequently require that a dif- 
ferent mode of play should be adopted." 

" It is a general maxim not to force your partner unless 
strong in trumps yourself. There are, however, many 
exceptions to this rule, as : 

" (i) If your partner has led a single card ; 

" (2) If it saves or wins a particular point ; 

" (3) If great strength in trumps is declared against 
you ; 

" (4) If you have a probability of a saw ; 

" (5) If your partner has been forced, and did not lead 
trumps ; 

" (6) It is often right in playing for an odd trick ; 

"If your partner shows a weak game, force him 
whether or not you are otherwise entitled to do it." — 
Mathews. 

With a weak trump hand, force your 
partner : 

" (i) When he has already shown a desire to be forced 
or weakness in trumps ; 

" (2) When you have a cross ruff; 

" (3) When you are playing a close game, as for the 
odd trick, and often when one trick saves or wins the 
game or a point ; 

' * (4) When great strength in trumps has been declared 
against yoii."— Cavendish. 

" Do not force your partrler unless to make sure of the 
tricks required to save or win the game ; 

" Or unless he has been already forced, and has not 
led a trump ; 

" Or unless he has asked to be forced by leading from 
a single card, or two weak cards ; 

" Or unless the adversary has led, or asked for trumps." 
—Clay. 



TObiat, ot :fi3umblepuppi2? 141 

"tlnless your partner has shown great strength in 
trumps, or a wish to get them drawn, or has refused to 
ruff a doubtful card, give him the option of making a 
small trump ; unless you have some good reason for not 
doing so, other than a weak suit of trumps in your own 
hand." — Art of Practical Whist. 

With these extracts before you, perhaps you 
will dismiss from your mind the popular fallacy 
that you are under any compulsion to lose the 
game because your trumps are not quite so 
strong as you could wish. 

Make a note of this. 

Maxims were not invented for the purpose of 
preventing you from either saving or winning 
the game, though it is their unfortunate fate to 
be epitomized and perverted out of all reason- 
able shape. The ill-advised dictum, '* Suppose 
the adversaries are four, and you, with the lead, 
have a bad hand : the best play is in defiance of 
all system, to lead out your best trump," was 
comparatively innocuous, till some ingenious 
person, with a turn for abbreviation, altered it 
into, ** Whenever you hold nothing, lead a 
trump ! '* Use your common-sense.* 

* " Common-sense (which in truth is very uncommon) 
is the best sense I know of. Abide by it : it will counsel 
you hQSt. "—Chesier^eld Letters, 



142 mbl6t muggete 

I have gone into this matter at considerable 
length, because I am convinced that however 
many people, once affluent, are now in misery 
and want, owing to their not having led trumps 
with five, — Clay gave the number as eleven 
thousand, — a far larger number have been 
reduced to this deplorable condition by chang- 
ing suits, and refusing on principle to save the 
game by forcing their partner. 

Before quitting the subject, there is another 
branch of it worthy of a little consideration. 
When your partner has shown by his discard 
which is his suit, and you hold two or three 
small cards in it, however strong you may 
be in trumps, — unless everything depends on 
one trick, — do you expect to gain much by 
forcing him and making yourself third 
player ? Though it is usual to play in this 
absurd way, is there any objection to first 
playing his suit, and — as, ex hypothesi, you 
are strong in trumps — forcing him after- 
wards ? 

Play always as simply and intelligibly as you 



Mbtstt or JSumblepuppi^ ? 143 

can.* li^ever think ! t Know! Leave thinking 
to the Teuton. 

*' A Briton knows ; or, if he knows it not, 
He ought."— Co WPER. 

After the game has begun, the time for think- 
ing has passed : as soon as a card is led, it is the 
time for action, the time to bring your previously 
acquired knowledge to bear. 

P. S. — When pointing out your rights, I 
omitted to state, that, before you proceed to 
give your partner a piece of your mind, you 
should always call your honors ; for by neglect- 
ing this simple precaution you will often lay 
yourself open to a crushing .rejoinder. — Ex- 
perto crede. 

* In addition to your j)artner not being able to vSee 
your cards — in itself a disadvantage — he is, by an im- 
mutable law of nature, much inferior in perception to 
yourself: you should bear this in mind, and not be too 
hard on the poor fellow. 

t This is at first sight rather an appalling proposition, 
but the advice I give you I have always endeavored to 
follow myself; and I am not a solitary case, for in The 
Nineteenth Century Reviezu for May , 1879, 1 find the writer 
of one of the articles in the same boat. This thoughtful 
writer — he must have been thoughtful, otherwise his 
lucubration would not have been accepted — says, ' ' I have 
given up the practice of thinking, or may be I never 
had it." 



144 TObi6t Bugc5et6 

THINKING. 

" With some unmeaning thing, that they call thought." 

Pope. 

Never think ! 

Unless you have some remarkably good rea- 
son for taking your own course, do as you are 
told. If your partner leads you a small trump, 
return it at once. 

" Gratia ab officio, quod mora tardat, abest." 

This is a much more simple and satisfactory 
plan than to proceed to think that he may have 
no more, or that the fourth player must hold 
major tenace. No one will admit more readily 
than I do, that you are much the better player 
of the two, still allow him to have some idea 
of the state of your own hand. 

Don^t think, whenever you see a card played, 
that it is necessarily false : as, on the whole, 
true cards are in the majority, you are rather 
more likely to be wrong than right, and the 
betting must be against you in the long-run. 

" My business and your own is not to inquire 
Into such matters, but to mind our cue, — 
Which is to act as we are bid to«do."— Byron. 



imibiet, or JBumblepuppi^ ? us 



If you are blessed with a suflficiently sharp 
eye to the left, you may occasionally know that 
a card is false ; but I should not describe knowl- 
edge acquired in that way as thinking, I should 
use quite a different expression. 

With the military gentleman who anathemat- 
ized intellect, I deeply sympathize. Profound 
thought about facts which have just taken 
place under your own eye is the bane of whist. 

Why imitate Mark Twain's fiery steed ? 
Why, when it is your business to go on, **lean 
your head against something, and think " ? 

Whether you have seen a thing, or not seen 
it, there can be no necessity for thought. Re- 
condite questions — such as whether the seven 
is the best of a suit of which all the others but 
the six are out, or whether a card is the twelfth 
or thirteenth — can be answered by a rational 
being in two ways, and two only : either he 
knows, or he does not know ; there is no tertium 
quid. The curious practice of gazing intently 
at the chandelier, and looking as intelligent as 
nature will permit, — if not more so, — though it 
is less confusing than going to the last trick for 



146 TObtst IRuggete 



information, and imposes upon some people, is 
no answer at all * : this, in whist circles, is 
called, or miscalled thinking. It is not a new 
invention, for it has been known and practised 
from the earliest times. '* There is a genera- 
tion, oh, how lofty are their eyes! and their 
eye-lids are lifted up" (Prov. xxx., 13, B.C. 
1,000). Pecksniff, who had an extensive ac- 
quaintance with the weaknesses of human 
nature, knew it : you, and all other schoolboys, 
are adepts at it. 

In Greek the very name of man — drOpooTto^ — 
was derived from this peculiar method of feign- 
ing intelligence, and it was by no means un- 
known to the Romans. 

"' Pronaque cum spectent animalia coetera terram, 
-Os homini sublime dedit coelumque tueri." 

But, however ancient and venerable the prac- 
tice may be, it is one of those numerous prac- 
tices more honored in the breach than in the 
observance. Surely looking at the table is more 
in, accordance with the dictates of common- 



* Marking passes in the air with your hand, as if you 
were about tp mesmerize the table, is another favorite 
stratagem. 



Timblat, or :©umWepupp^ 7 147 

sense than attempting to eliminate unknown 
quantities from a chandelier. In the one you 
have gas, and probably water : on the other, — 
lying open before you, — the data required. I 
have now endeavored, not to teach you either 
whist or bumblepuppy, but to point out a few 
of the differences between them, and to start 
you on the right road. The first is a game of 
reason and common-sense, played in combina- 
tion with your partner ; the second is a game 
of inspiration, hap-hazard, and absurdity, where 
your partner is your deadliest enemy. 1 have 
made a few extracts from Mathews : partly be- 
cause I don't like novelties merely because they 
are novelties ; partly to convince the bumblepup- 
pist (if anything will convince him) that when he 
tells me the recognized play is anew invention, 
introduced by Cavendish for his especial annoy- 
ance, he does not know what he is talking about; 
and partly to show you that since that book 
was written — eighty years ago — the main prin- 
ciples of whist are almost unaltered. 

The chapter on etiquette is since his time; 
but, though the game has been cut down one- 



148 Timbi6t 'UnggctB 

half, take away from Mathews his slight par- 
tiality for sneakers (to be accounted for by the 
possibility of his partner at that remote period 
being even a more dangerous lunatic than yours 
is at present, and the consequent necessity of 
playing more on the defensive ; for leading 
singletons, whatever else it may do, does not 
injure the leader),* take away from the play of 
to-day its signal, its echo, and its penultimate of 
a long suit, — all excrescences of doubtful advan- 
tage for general purposes, and the last two more 
adapted to that antediluvian epoch when human 
life was longer, — and the continuity of the 
game is clear. f Whether whist would gain 
anything by their omission, I am unable to say. 



* The diflference here is more apparent than real : 
Mathews , .with considerable limitations, advocates lead- 
ing sine:letons. Nowadays the practice is decried ; but 
I regret to say, that, as far as my experience goes, the 
principal obstacle to leading a singleton is not having a 
singleton to lead. 

t " We suspect that Cavendish very often must have 
objected to that ancient plagiarist Mathews for stealing 
his ideas." 

" If their ideas are not identical, it is rather difficult to 
find where the one begins, and the other ends." — IVest- 
minster Papers. 

*' I contend that there is no essential diflference be- 
tween modern and old-fashioned whist ; i. e , between 
Hoyle and Cavendish, Mathews and J. C."— Mogul. 



TDClbtet, or :©uml)lepupp^ 7 149 



The attention, now always on the strain in look- 
ing for its accidents, would have a spare mo- 
ment or two to devote to its essentials : whether 
it would do anything of the kind, is another 
matter. 

Those followers of Darwin and believers in 
the doctrine of evolution, to whom it is a source 
of comfort that an ascidian monad and not Eve 
was their first parent, must find the whist-table 
rather a stumbling-block : they will see there 
uncommonly few specimens of the survival of 
the fittest. 

The philosopher of Chelsea long since arrived 
at the unsatisfactory and sweeping conclusion, 
that the population of these islands are mostly 
fools ; and he has made no exception for the 
votaries of whist. Still, it has the reputation of 
being a very pretty game, though this reputation 
must be based to a great extent on conjecture ; 
for apart from its other little peculiarities, — on 
some of which I have briefly touched, — its feat- 
ures are so fearfully disfigured by bumblepuppy, 
that it is as difficult to give a positive opinion 
as to say whether a woman suffering from 



150 TObt6t mu^gete 

malignant small-pox might or might not be 
good-looking under happier circumstances. The 
sublime self-confidence expressed in the 
distich, — 

'' When I see thee as thou art, 
I'll praise thee as I ought," — 

has not been vouchsafed to me ; but if ever I 
obtain a clear view of it, I will undertake to 
report upon it to the best of my ability. 

You may have heard, that if you are ignorant 
of whist you are preparing for yourself a miser- 
able old age : it is by no means certain that a 
knowledge of it — as practised at this particular 
epoch — is to be classed with the beatitudes. 

THE DOMESTIC RUBBER. 

A third variety of whist, the domestic rubber, 
I have passed over in silence. What takes 
place in the sanctity of private life, it would 
be as unbecoming for me to divulge as for you 
to seek to know. 

" O'er all its faults we draw a tender veil, 
So great its sorrows, and so sad its tale." 



Mblat, or JSumblepupp^ ! 151 



At the same time I don't think I am violating 
any confidence in stating that you will neither 
find there signalling, nor the penultimate of 
five and its developments : yet, though free from 
these annoyances, the game, even when miti- 
gated by muffins, music, and the humanizing 
influence of woman, is inexpressibly dreary, 
and you had better keep out of it if you can ; 
but should this not be practicable, — for some 
relative from whom you have a reasonable 
expectation of a tip may be staying in the 
house, and you may be compelled to sacrifice 
yourself either on the altar of duty or of self- 
interest, — then never forget that sweetness of 
temper is much more important here than 
knowledge of whist, and, consoling yourself 
with the two following reflections — 

(i) That (according to Epicurus) prolonged 
pain is rather pleasant than otherwise, extreme 
pain always short * ; 

(2) That those whom the gods love die 
young — 

* He is right to some extent : the domestic rubber 
always closes early. 



152 



TKIlbt6t n\XQQCt6 



when your hour arrives, bare your throat to the 
knife with a smile. 

So shall your memory smell sweet and blos- 
som in domestic circles. 

''PEMBRIDGE." 





CARDS SPIRITUALIZED. 

THE following curious article is taken from 
an English newspaper of the year 1773, 
and is there called the '' Perpetual Almanack ; 
or, Soldier's Prayer Book," by Richard Ivane, a 
private soldier, belonging to the 42d regiment, 
who was taken before the Mayor of Glasgow for 
playing cards during divine service. 

The sergeant commanded the soldiers to 
church, and when the parson read his prayers 
and took his text, those who had a Bible took 
it out ; but this soldier had neither a Bible nor 
a common prayer-book ; but pulling out a pack 
of cards, he spread them out before him. He 
first looked at one card and then at another. 
The sergeant of the company saw him and 
said : 

153 



154 IKDibiet IRu^gets 



" Richard put up the cards ; this is no place 
for them." 

''Never mind that," said Richard. 

When the service was over, the constable 
took Richard prisoner and brought him before 
the Mayor. 

''Well," said the Mayor, "What have you 
brought this soldier here for? " 

" For playing cards in church." 

"Well, soldier, what have you to say for 
yourself? " 

" Much, sir, I hope." 

" Very good ; if not I will punish you more 
than ever man was punished." 

" I have been," said the soldier, "about six 
weeks on the march ; I have neither Bible nor 
common prayer-book ; I have nothing but a 
common pack of cards, and I hope to satisfy 
your worship of the purity of my intentions." 

" Very good," said the Mayor. 

Then, spreading the cards before the Mayor, 
he began with the ace : 

"When I see the ace, it reminds me there is 
but one God. 



Gar&6 SpttttualiseD 155 



**When I see the deuce, it reminds me of 
Father and Son. 

''When I see the tray, it reminds me of 
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. 

*' When I see the four, it reminds me of the 
four evangelists that preached, viz., Matthew, 
Mark, Luke, and John. 

''When I see the five, it reminds me of the 
five wise virgins that trimmed their lamps. 
There were ten, but five were fools, and were 
sent out. 

" When I see the six, it reminds me that in 
six days the Lord made heaven and earth. 

"When I see the seven, it reminds me that 
on the seventh day God rested from the works 
He had made, and hallowed it. 

"When I see the eight, it reminds me of the 
eight righteous persons that were saved when 
God drowned the world, viz., Noah and his 
wife, his three sons and their wives. 

"When I see the nine, it reminds me of the 
nine lepers that were cleansed by our Saviour. 
There were ten, but nine never returned 
thanks. 



156 . 'MbiBt^'Unggcte 



*' When I see the ten, it reminds me of the 
ten commandments, which God handed down 
to Moses on a table of stone. 

** When I see the king, it reminds me of the 
great King of Heaven, which is God Almighty. 

** When I see the queen, it reminds me of the 
Queen of Sheba, who went to hear the wisdom 
of Solomon, for she was as wise a woman 
as he a man. She brought with her fifty boys 
and fifty girls, all dressed in boy's apparel, for 
King Solomon to tell which were girls. King 
Solomon sent for water for them to wash them- 
selves ; the girls washed to the elbows, and the 
boys only to the wrists — so King Solomon told 
by this." 

**Well," said the Mayor, "you have given a 
description of every card in the pack except 
one." 

** What is that? " asked the soldier. 

"The knave," said the Mayor. 

"I will give your honor a description of that, 
too, if you will not be angry. " 

" I will not," said the Mayor, " if you will 
not term me to be a knave." 



Car06 SptritualtseD 157 

*'Well," said the soldier, *' the greatest knave 
that I know of is the constable who brought me 
here/' 

*' I do not know," said the Mayor, '' whether 
he is the greatest knave, but I know he 's the 
greatest fool." 

" When I count how many spots in a pack, I 
find three hundred and sixty-five — as many as 
there are days in a year. 

" When I count the number of cards in a 
pack, I find there are fifty-two — as many weeks 
as there are in a year ; and I find four suits — 
the number of weeks in the month. 

" I find there are twelve picture cards in the 
pack, representing the number of months in 
the year ; and counting the tricks, I find thirteen 
— the number of weeks in a quarter. 

" So you see, sir, the pack of cards serves for 
a Bible, almanac, and common prayer-book to 
me." 

Anonymous. 







MRS. BATTLE'S OPINIONS ON 
WHIST. 

** A CLEAR fire, a clean hearth, and the rigor 
of the game." This was the celebrated 
wish of old Sarah Battle (now with God), who, 
next to her devotions, loved a good game of 
whist. She was none of your lukewarm 
gamesters, your half-and-half players, who 
have no objection to take a hand, if you want 
one to make up a rubber ; who affirm that they 
have no pleasure in winning ; that they like to 
win one game and lose another ; that they can 
while away an hour very agreeably at a card- 
table, but are indifferent whether they play or 
no ; and will desire an adversary, who has 
slipped a wrong card, to take it up and play 
158 



/irsrs* :fi3attle'6 iS^ptnions on TKHbtat 159 



another. These insufferable triflers are the 
curse of a table. One of these flies will spoil 
a whole pot. Of such it may be said that they 
do not play at cards, but only play at playing 
at them. 

Sarah Battle was none of that breed. She 
detested them, as I do, from her heart and soul, 
and would not, save upon a striking emergency, 
willingly seat herself at the same table with 
them. She loved a thorough-paced partner, a 
determined enemy. She took, and gave, no 
concessions. She hated favors. She never 
made a revoke, nor even passed it over in her 
adversary without exacting the utmost forfeit- 
ure. She fought a good fight — cut and thrust. 
She held not her good sword (her cards) '* like 
a dancer." She sate bolt upright, and neither 
showed you her cards, nor desired to see yours. 
All people have their blind side — their super- 
stitions ; and I have heard her declare, under 
the rose, that Hearts was her favorite suit. 

I never in my life— and I knew Sarah Battle 
many of the best years of it— saw her take out 
her snuff-box w^hen it w^as her turn to play, or 



l6o 'MbiBt leinQQctB 



snuflf a candle in ttie middle of a game, or ring 
for a servant till it was fairly over. She never 
introduced or connived at miscellaneous con- 
versation during its progress. As she emphati- 
cally observed, ** cards were cards** ; and if I 
ever saw unmingled distaste in her fine last- 
century countenance, it was at the airs of a 
young gentleman of a literary turn, who had 
been with difl&culty persuaded to take a hand, 
and who, in his excess of candor, declared 
that he thought there was no harm in unbend- 
ing the mind now and then, after serious 
studies, in recreations of that kind ! She could 
not bear to have her noble occupation, to which 
she wound up her faculties, considered in that 
light. It was her business, her duty, the thing 
she came into the world to do, — and she did it. 
She unbent her mind afterwards over a book. 

Pope was her favorite author ; his J^ape of 
the Lock her favorite work. She once did 
me the honor tb play over with me (with the 
cards) his celebrated game of ombre in that 
poem ; and to explain to me how far it agreed 
with, and in what points it would be found to 



/Iftrs. J5attle'6 ©pinions on TKIlbist i6i 

differ from, tradrille. Her illustrations were 
apposite and poignant ; and I have had the 
pleasure of sending the substance of them to 
Mr. Bowles ; but I suppose they came too late 
to be inserted among his ingenious notes upon 
that author. 

Quadrille, she has often told me, was her first 
love ; but whist had engaged her maturer es- 
teem. The former, she said, was showy and 
specious, and likely to allure young persons. 
The uncertainty and quick shifting of partners 
— a thing which the constancy of whist abhors 
— the dazzling supremacy and regal investiture 
of spadille — absurd, as she justly observed, in 
the pure aristocracy of whist, where his crown 
and garter give him no proper power above his 
brother nobility of the aces ; — the giddy vanity, 
so taking to the inexperienced, of playing 
alone ; above all, the overpowering attractions 
of a Sans Prendre Vole, — ^to the triumph of 
which there is certainly nothing parallel or ap- 
proaching, in the contingencies of whist ; — all 
these, she would say, make quadrille a game of 
captivation to the young and enthusiastic. But 



162 TObtst Iftuggets 

whist was the solider game — that was her word. 
It was a long meal : not like quadrille a feast 
of snatches. One or two rubbers might coex- 
tend in duration with an evening. They gave 
time to form rooted friendships, to cultivate 
steady enmities. She despised the chance- 
started, capricious, and ever- fluctuating alli- 
ances of the other. The skirmishes of quadrille, 
she would say, reminded her of the petty ephem- 
eral embroilments of the little Italian states, 
depicted by Machiavel, perpetually changing 
postures and connection ; bitter foes to-day, su- 
gared darlings to-morrow ; kissing and scratch- 
ing in a breath ; — but the wars of whist were 
comparable to the long, steady, deep-rooted, 
national antipathies of the great French and 
English nations. 

A grave simplicity was what she chiefly 
admired in her favorite game. There was 
nothing silly in it, like the nob in cribbage — 
nothing superfluous. No flushes — that most 
irrational of all pleas that a reasonable being 
can set up ; — that any one should claim four by 
virtue of holding cards of the same mark and 



iTIbre* JSattle'6 ©pinione on TKHbiat 163 

color, without reference to the playing of the 
game, or the individual worth or pretensions of 
the cards themselves ! She held this to be a 
solecism ; as pitiful an ambition in cards as 
alliteration is in authorship. She despised 
superficiality, and looked deeper than the colors 
of things. Suits were soldiers, she would say, 
and must have a uniformity of array to distin- 
guish them ; but what should we say to a foolish 
squire, who should claim a merit from dressing 
up his tenantry in red jackets, that never were 
to be marshalled — never to take the field ? She 
even wished that whist were more simple than 
it is ; and, in my mind, would have stripped it 
of some appendages, which in the state of 
human frailty, may be venially, and even com- 
mendably, allowed of She saw no reason for 
the deciding of the trump by the turn of the 
card. Why not one suit always trumps ? Wh}^ 
two colors when the mark of the suits would 
have sufficiently distinguished them without it ? 
'* But the eye, my dear Madam, is agreeably 
refreshed with the variety. Man is not a creat- 
ure of pure reason — he must have^ his senses 



164 TObtst IFluggete 

delightfully appealed to. We see it in Roman 
Catholic countries, where the music and the 
paintings draw in many to worship, whom your 
Quaker spirit of unsensualizing would have 
kept out. You yourself have a pretty collec- 
tion of paintings, — but confess to me, whether, 
walking in your gallery at Sandham, among 
those clear Vandykes, or among the Paul Pot- 
ters in the anteroom, you ever felt your bosom 
glow with an elegant delight, at all comparable 
to that you have it in your power to experience 
most evenings over a well-arranged assortment 
of the court-cards? — the pretty antic habits, 
like heralds in a procession — the gay triumph- 
assuring scarlets — the contrasting deadly-killing 
sables — the 'hoary majesty of spades' — Pam 
in all his glory I 

''All these might be dispensed with; and 
with their naked names upon the drab paste- 
board, the game might go on very well, pic- 
tureless. But the beauty of cards would be 
extinguished forever. Stripped of all that is 
imaginative in them, they must degenerate into 
mere gambling. Imagine a dull deal board, or 



/IBr6. JBattle'a (S^ptnlons on Wihiet 165 

drum-head, to spread them on, instead of that 
nice verdant carpet (next to Nature's), fittest 
arena for those courtly combatants to play 
their gallant jousts and tourneys in ! ^^x- 
change those delicately-turned ivory markers 
— (work of Chinese artists, unconscious of their 
symbol, or as profanely slighting their true 
application as the arrantest Ephesian journey- 
man that turned out those little shrines for 
the goddess) — exchange them for little bits 
of leather (our ancestors' money), or chalk and " 
a slate ! ' ' 

The old lady, with a smile, confessed the 
soundness of my logic ; and to her approbation 
of my arguments on her favorite topic that 
evening, I have always fancied myself indebted 
for the legacy of a curious cribbage-board, made 
of the finest Sienna marble, which her mater- 
nal uncle (old Walter Plumer, whom I have 
elsewhere celebrated), brought with him from 
I^lorence ; — ^this, and a trifle of five hundred 
pounds, came to me at her death. 

The former bequest (which I do not least 
value) T have kept with religious care ; though 



i66 mbist IRucjaet^ 



she herself, to confess a truth, was never greatly 
taken with cribbage. It was an essentially 
vulgar game, I have heard her say, — disputing 
with her uncle, who was very partial to it. She 
could never heartily bring her mouth to pro- 
nounce '' Go "—or *' That ^s a go^ She called 
it an ungrammatical game. The pegging teased 
her. I once knew her to forfeit a rubber 
(a five-dollar stake), because she would not 
take advantage of the turn-up knave, which 
would have given it her, but which she must 
have claimed by the disgraceful tenure of 
declaring ** tivo for his heels.'''' There is some- 
thing extremely genteel in this. sort of self- 
denial. Sarah Battle was a gentlewoman born. 
Piquet she held the best game at the cards 
for two persons, though she would ridicule 
the pedantry of the terms, — such as pique — re- 
pique — the capot, — they savored (she thought) 
of affectation. But games for two, or even 
three, she never greatly cared for. She loved 
the quadrate, or square. She would argue 
thus : Cards are warfare ; the ends are gain, 
with glory. But cards are war, in disguise of a 



/Iftr6, JBatt(c'6 iS>pinion6 on Wibiet 167 

sport ; when single adversaries encounter, the 
ends proposed are too palpable. By themselves, 
it is too close a fight ; with spectators, it is not 
much bettered. No looker-on can be interested, 
except for a bet, and then it is a mere affair of 
money ; he cares not for your luck sympatheti- 
cally^ or for your play. Three are still worse ; 
a mere naked war of every man against every 
man, as in cribbage, without league or alli- 
ance ; or a rotation of petty and contradictory 
interests, a succession of heartless leagues, and 
not much more hearty infractions of them, as 
in tradrille. But in square games {she meant 
whist)^ all that is possible to be attained in 
card-playing is accomplished. There are the 
incentives of profit with honor, common to 
every species, — though the latter can be but 
very imperfectly enjoyed in those other games, 
where the spectator is only feebly a participa- 
tor. But the parties in whist are spectators and 
principals too. They are a theatre to them- 
selves, and a looker-on is not wanted. He is 
rather worse than nothing, and an imperti- 
nence. Whist abhors neutralitv, or interests 



168 mbi6t mug^eta 

beyond its sphere. You glory in some surpris- 
ing stroke of skill or fortune, not because a 
cold — or even an interested — bystander wit- 
nesses it, but because your partner sympa- 
thizes in the contingency. You win for two. 
You triumph for two. Two are exalted. Two 
again are mortified ; which divides their dis- 
grace, as the conjunction doubles (by taking 
off the invidiousness) your glories. Two losing 
to two are better reconciled, than one to one 
in that close butchery. The hostile feeling is 
weakened by multiplying the channels. War 
has become a civil game. By such reasonings 
as these the old lady was accustomed to defend 
her favorite pastime. 

No inducement could ever prevail upon her 
to play at any game, where chance entered into 
the composition, for nothing. Chance, she 
would argue, — and here again, admire the sub- 
tlety of her conclusion, — chance is nothing, 
but where something else depends upon it. It 
is obvious that cannot be glory. What rational 
cause of exultation could it give to a man to 
turn up size ace a hundred times together by 



USsxB. J5attle'6 ©pinions on Mblet i6g 

, himself? or before spectators, where no stake 
was depending ? Make a lottery of a hundred 
thousand tickets with but one fortunate num- 
ber, and what possible principle of our nature, 
except stupid wonderment, could it gratify to 
gain that number as many times successively, 
without a prize? Therefore she disliked the 
mixture of chance in backgammon, where it 
was not played for money. She called it fool- 
ish, and those people idiots who were taken 
with a lucky hit under such circumstances. 
Games of pure skill were as little to her fancy. 
Played for a stake, they were a mere system of 
overreaching. Played for glory, they were a 
mere setting of one man's wit, — his memory, or 
combination- faculty rather — against another*s ; 
like a mock engagement at a review, bloodless 
and profitless. She could not conceive a game 
wanting the spritely infusion of chance, the 
handsome excuses of good fortune. Two peo- 
ple playing at chess in a corner of a room, 
whilst whist was stirring in the centre, would 
inspire her with insufferable horror and ennui. 
Those well-cut similitudes of Castles and 



T70 Mbiet 1Rug^et6 

Knights, the imagery of the board, she would 
argue (and I think in this case justly) were 
entirely misplaced and senseless. Those hard 
head-contests can in no instance ally with the 
fancy. They reject form and color. A pencil 
and dry slate (she used to say) were the proper 
arena for such combatants. 

To those puny objectors against cards, as 
nurturing the bad passions, she would retort, 
that man is a gaming animal. He must be 
always trying to get the better in something or 
other ; — that this passion can scarcely be more 
safely expended than upon a game at cards ; 
that cards are a temporary illusion ; — in truth, a 
mere drama ; for we do but play at being might- 
ily concerned, where a few idle shillings are at 
stake, yet, during the illusion, we «;r as might- 
ily concerned as those whose stake is crowns 
and kingdoms. They are a sort of dream-fight- 
ing ; much ado ; great battling and little blood- 
shed ; mighty means for disproportion ed ends ; 
quite as diverting, and a great deal more in- 
noxious, than many of those more serious 
games of life which men play, without esteeming 
them to be such. 



UXsvB. :©attle'6 ©pinlona on Mbiat 171 



with great deference to the old lady's judg- 
ment in these matters, I think I have experi- 
enced some moments in my life, when playing 
at cards Jbr nothing has even been agreeable. 
When I am in sickness, or not in the best 
spirits, I sometimes call for the cards, and play 
a game at piquet for love with my cousin 
Bridget— Bridget Elia. 

I grant there is something sneaking in it ; 
but with a toothache, or a sprained ankle, — 
when you are subdued and humble, — you are 
glad to put up with an inferior spring of action. 

There is such a thing in nature, I am con- 
vinced, as sick whist. 

I grant it is not the highest style of man — I 
deprecate the manes of Sarah Battle — she lives 
not, alas ! to whom I should apologize. 

At such times, those terms ^ which my old 
friend objected to, come in as something ad- 
missible. I love to get a tierce or a quatorze, 
though they mean nothing. I am subdued to 
an inferior interest. Those shadows of winning- 
amuse me. 

That last game I had with my sweet cousin 
(I capotted her)— {dare I tell thee, how foolish 



172 WibiBt IWu^^ets 



I am ?) — I wished it might have lasted forever, 
though we gained nothing, and lost nothing ; 
though it was a mere shade of play, I would be 
content to go on in that idle folly forever. The 
pipkin should be ever boiling, that was to pre- 
pare the gentle lenitive to my foot, which 
Bridget was doomed to apply after the game 
was over ; and, as I do not much relish appli- 
ances, there it should ever bubble. Bridget 
and I should be ever playing. 

Chari.es Lamb. 





TOADIES' WHIST. 

NOT many years ago there came from 
America a treatise upon whist, containing 
certain theories which were the subject of hot 
debate among our whist-players at home, and 
which are still known and referred to as 
"American leads." The latest ideas that have 
been contributed by the United States on the 
subject of the game are hardly so useful or 
worthy of discussion ; but as they throw a 
curious and unexpected light upon a game 
played by ladies — which is not whist, although 
they call it by that name — we are unwilling to 
let them pass altogether in silence. It would 
appear from the American papers that the 
ladies of New York have decided that whist is 
an excellent opportunity for displaying the 
173 



174 TDdbiet Iftu^gete 

charms of their persons, and are become so 
enamored of the game in consequence, that 
there is a most unusual and fashionable de- 
mand among them for professors of the art — an 
art which, in their case, can not be learnt 
from any treatises that are extant ; for neither 
does the ancient Hoyle nor the more modern 
Cavendish say a word about the elegances of 
whist-playing, or the airs and graces to be 
practised by the players. Their professors are 
required to teach them, not how to play a hand, 
but how to display a pretty hand and arm to 
the greatest advantage ; a suit of diamonds is 
not more necessary in the pack than a suit of 
diamonds upon their fingers ; and the privilege 
of dealing ranks second to that of shuffling 
the cards. They require a professor to teach 
them whist in the same way as Mr. Turveydrop, 
late lamented professor of deportment, would 
have taught them to play lawn tennis. In fact, 
his art is merely supplementary to that of another 
American professor, — the Manicure. This 
latest development of whist-playing is not 
likely to add to the science of the game ; but, 



%aMce* Wibiet 175 

as it throws a curious side-light upon *' ladies' 
whist '' in general, it is worthy of consideration. 

What we call *' ladies' whist," what Charles 
lyamb called **sick whist," and what we have 
heard an elderly and morose whist-player de- 
scribe as ** bumblepuppy " — a word with a dark 
but suggestive meaning — are all practically the 
same game, — a very pleasant game, but not 
whist in the strictest sense of the word. We 
would not suggest that ladies cannot play the 
strict game ; on the contrary, some of them 
play it remarkably well, — witness the celebrated 
Sarah Battle, for instance. But it cannot be 
denied that the average lady whist-player is 
addicted to play that is rather peculiar than sci- 
entific. We need not make mention of those dear 
ladies who, on sitting down at the whist-table, 
propound such riddles as — '*How many cards 
do you deal to each person ? " or *' Does a king 
count more than an ace ? " — for they are outside 
the pale ; but we will content ourselves with 
speaking of the average player, and by these 
signs we may know her. 

She will invariably try to cheat in cutting 



176 imbiet nmQcie 

for partners, for she cannot bear to leave so 
important a choice to be decided by chance. 
In dealing, she will begin with the greatest care 
and deliberation, but suddenly there will occur 
to her mind a story, which, with much anima- 
tion, she will proceed to relate until the trump 
is turned up in the wrong place. She can never 
be persuaded that she has misdealt until the 
cards have been carefully counted at least three 
times. Another time she will beg her partner 
to deal for her, and overwhelm him with 
reproachful glances should he turn up a small 
card for the trump. It is easy to know whether 
she has taken up a good or an indiflferent hand ; 
if it be a good one, she never tires of contemplat- 
ing it, will arrange and re-arrange it a hundred 
times, while she fingers with ill-concealed im- 
patience the card that she wishes to play ; if it 
looks but an indifferent one, she, too, will 
assume an air of indifference, will gaze with an 
abstracted look into the farther corners of the 
room, and drum upon the table with the fingers 
of one hand while the other holds the cards 
carelessly shut up in a pack. If she has five 



XaWee' mbt0t 177 

trumps in her hand, she will not lead them, — 
no, nothing will induce her to lead them, not 
even if her partner has called for them. He 
is ill-advised if he remonstrates with her after- 
wards. She looks at him with the sweetest 
wonder in her eyes, as she protests that she 
never heard him. En revanche^ in the course 
of the next game she will trump his best card, 
and gather up the trick with a beaming smile 
of genial triumph. To do her justice, she does 
not often revoke ; when she does revoke, she 
discovers her offence with the prettiest air of 
defiance imaginable, and at least ten minutes' 
discussion, combined with the display of all the 
back tricks, are needed before it can be proved 
to her satisfaction, — even then she has a great 
deal to say, and leaves it to be finally under- 
stood that not she herself, but her partner, has 
been most to blame in this matter. Indeed, he 
is fortunate if the matter is allowed to rest 
then, and if he is not subjected to a spirited 
homily on the misleading nature of his play. 
She loves, above all things, to make what she 
calls a good trick, — that is to say, a trick with 



178 Timbiat muggets 

lots of court cards in it. If the two of spades 
be led, followed by the four, she will play a 
knave, even though she has the ace in hand, 
because she cannot bear to waste the latter upon 
two such insignificant cards ; and it is with feel- 
ings of unbounded indignation that she sees 
the trick fall to the queen of the fourth hand. 
The feelings of her partner who led from a king 
need not be described, because his feelings, of 
course, are not worth mentioning. She also 
loves to score by honors, but she cannot endure 
that her adversaries should hold them ; if they 
do so too often, she will have grave doubts as 
to the advisability of counting honors at all, 
and will give vent to some very serious reflec- 
tions upon the relative value of good hands 
and good play, of blind chance and science. 
The simple rules of scoring she can never mas- 
ter ; she generally requests her partner to mark 
the score, but that does not prevent her from 
challenging the correctness of the result, should 
it not be in her favor. Of all her propensities, 
the most curious, the most ineradicable, is the 
one that prompts her to hoard her trumps. 



XaMes' Wibiet 179 

Nothing, as we have already said, can induce 
her to lead them. She prefers to save them up 
as a kind of bonne bouche^ a display of fireworks 
for the end of the game. She looks upon them 
as things that are too precious for use ; she 
regards them with a superstitious reverence. 
Should her partner lead them, '* What ? 
trumps!" she exclaims in a tone of pained 
surprise at his wasteful audacity ; she will play 
her card grudgingly, and take the trick perhaps, 
but she will not return his lead, — no, she can- 
not bring herself to return his lead. There was 
an eminent whist-player, of whom it was re- 
lated that, whenever he found himself seated 
at the whist-table with ladies, he used to tell 
them the following tale as a kind of prologue 
to the game : '^ I once knew a lady who held 
five trumps in her hand, and who failed to lead 
them. She ended sadly " ; — and here his voice 
sank to an impressive whisper — ''she died in 
the workhouse." Whether or not this pre- 
cautionary measure was attended with success 
tradition does not say ; we should be inclined 
to doubt its efficacy. But to sum up our lady 



ISO TObi6t 1Rugget6 

whist-player : she is delightful, she is charming, 
she is everything that is good and beautiful to 
look upon, but she cannot be brought to regard 
whist as a serious science ; as a partner of our 
joys and our woes, as a partner of everything 
else in life, she is immeasurably too good for 
us, but as a partner at whist she leaves much to 
be desired, — at whist one would gladly see her 
the partner of one's worst enemy, and then 
make the stakes as high as possible. 

It is not thus that all ladies play. It was not 
thus that Sarah Battle played. And who was 
Sarah Battle ? Charles Lamb shall answer that 
question in his own words: ''^A clear fire, a 
clean hearth, and the rigor of the game.' This 
was the celebrated wish of old Sarah Battle, 
who, next to her devotions, loved a good game 
of whist," — and who, it would appear, played 
an uncommonly good game, too. One can 
imagine the old lady sitting very upright in- 
deed, with an eye as clear and flashing as her 
'fire, with a mob-cap as white and spotless as 
her hearth, and with a rigor of deportment that 
was unequalled even by the rigorous laws of her 



XaDlee' TObiet i8i 

favorite game. And one can imagine, also, 
Elia sitting opposite to her, with his respectful 
admiration a good deal tempered by the fearful 
timidity and awe inspired by his uncompromis- 
ing partner. To only one weakness did she con- 
fess, and that only in the strictest confidence : 
she confessed that hearts was her favorite suit. 
This alone would serve to show how old- 
fashioned she was, and how long ago she must 
have lived. Nowadays, if any lady could be 
brought to confess to such a preference, it 
would be for diamonds. On the other hand, 
she did not approve of playing for love ; she 
considered, and rightly, too, that some kind of 
stake was necessary to add a point and a zest to 
the game. Whist she declared to be the best 
of all games that she knew, because the partner- 
ship of two players divided the losses while it 
doubled the glory of winning. Probably old 
Sarah Battle, as well as Talleyrand, would have 
found a triste vieillesse without the solace of 
cards. But even while he admired the thorough- 
ness and soundness of Sarah Battlers views, 
Blia could not refrain from putting in a plea 



iS2 Wbiet 1Klugc}et0 

for what he called '' sick whist " ; aud we our- 
selves must confess to a sneaking liking for 
that humble game, although we may seem to 
have pointed at it with the finger of scorn. It 
was "sick whist" that the immortal Mr. Pick- 
wick played at Dingley Dell with old Mrs. 
Wardle for his partner ; but it was a very dif- 
ferent whist that he played at Bath in company 
with Lady Snuphanuph, Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, 
and Miss Bolo, and probably he preferred the 
first to the rigor of the second game. On the 
latter occasion, if we remember rightly, his 
partner, Miss Bolo, ''rose from the table con- 
siderably agitated, and went straight home in a 
flood of tears, and a sedan-chair.*' That is a 
failing shared by all ladies, even the best 
players ; though they are generally careless 
of the stakes, they cannot bear to lose. But 
what would Miss Battle or Miss Bolo have said 
to the whist of New York ? What would they 
have said ! 

The Spectator, 




•"^is^My-Wi' 



WHISTOI.OGY. 



-the Play 's the thing 



To touch the conscience of the king." 

r^ROBABIvY human ingenuity has not dis- 
^ played itself in any discovery more than 
by the various modes it has invented to read the 
character, and detect the temperament, of indi- 
viduals. This has been a favorite study from 
the very earliest ages — chiromancy existed 
among the Chaldeans, phrenology is of our own 
day — while sect after sect preferred their claim 
to attention, founding their several systems, 
now upon physical attribute, now upon some 
apparently adventitious element ; so that, from 
the facial angle or the occipital ridge, to the 
shape of a man's nails, there is nothing which 
183 



i84 TObiat nnggcte 

has not been admitted as evidence of his moral 
tendencies, or his intellectual capacity. 

We have given years of patient thought and 
labor to this theme. We have revolved it long 
and arduously, discussing much with the learned 
of many lands, and our triumph it is at length 
to declare, that we believe success has crowned 
our life toil, and that we have arrived at the 
test of all temperament, the gauge of morals 
and the measure of mind. That we have, in 
short, established an ordeal which no subtlety 
can evade, no astuteness escape from ; an or- 
deal, too, so comprehensive as to include the 
whole nation of men subjected to it, giving 
the measure of greatness and goodness, little- 
ness or incapacity, as unerringly as the balance 
decides upon weight, and thus supplying to the 
world, bored with competitive trials and civil 
service commissions, one sure and safe measure 
by which it shall select its public men. 

Among the many objections which will be 
started against his plan, there will be none 
more constantly put forward than its extreme 
simplicity — the old stumbling-block of weak 



1imbi0tOlO515 155 



minds, who require that truth not only should 
see at the bottom of the well, but that the water 
should be miiddy besides. To such persons, 
however, he makes no appeal. To them he 
says : *^ Lovers of the inexplicably confused— 
ye men who worship complexity without con- 
sistency, and moderation without a purpose — 
go hence ! Your teachers are members of Par- 
liament ! Your school-house is the British 
House of Commons, or a botanical lecture-room. 
The audience I seek is of those eager for truth, 
even though it come in the humblest garb, and 
with the smallest parade of pretension. To 
them, then, do I declare, that whist is the touch- 
stone of humanity — the gauge and measure of 
man.'* *' Whist ! " exclaims some rash objector, 
'* why, whist is a game — a mere game." Doubt- 
less it is ; but is not law a game ? Is not medicine 
a game ? Is not public life in its very highest 
walks a game ? Is not literature a game — a 
mere game, with all its accidents of good and 
ill, its opportunities gained or lost, its poor 
hands occasionally played fortunately, and its 
trumps as often squandered ? To stippose that 



i86 mbiat mug^ete 

b}^ the word ''game" deprecation must be 
understood, is to make a gross mistake. All 
the world is a vast play-table, with the heaviest 
stake that can be played for on the board. In 
the same way, but in a far more applicable 
sense, that the chase is said to be mimic war, a 
game may be the counterfeit of life, with all its 
vacillating changes, its failures and successes, 
its short-comings and its triumphs, its struggles 
and its accomplishments. 

" I concede also this," cries another and more 
eager opponent; ''but what becomes of your 
theory in the case of those — and a large major- 
ity of people they make — who do not play, 
never played, and probably never will play it ? " 
To that I reply, that where a watch has no dial- 
plate I do not pretend to tell the hour. For 
the sake of that large and benighted class, I am 
ready with my sympathy and my sorrow. I re- 
gret heartfully that so much of intellectual 
culture has been denied them, even to the pity- 
ing expression of Prince Talleyrand to the un- 
happy man who confessed he had never learned 
the game: **Ah, my friend, what a wretched 



llHlbtetolo^l? 187 



old age awaits you ! " To tell me that the test 
is a fallacy, because it is not of universal appli- 
cation, is absurd ; for what test is there that has 
such conditions? School experiences, for in- 
st?.nce, make sad work of one's occipital ridge. 
I myself had four of them before I was on the 
** fifth form.'' Single-stick will do as much or 
more for your facial angle. A rowing-match 
against time will contribute generously to the 
characteristic indications of the palm of your 
hand ; and as to the shape of your hat, if you 
wear a Gibus or a Jim Crov/, you may defy all 
the *' experts " of Europe. 

I go no further, remember, than saying that 
whist is the test of those who play it ; and I no 
more apply it to the outer barbarians who do 
not, than I would prescribe the ascent of Mont 
"Blanc to a bishop. I am ready, as I told you 
above, to deplore tearfully that the number is 
not millions. I 'd be pleased to think that even 
in our own colonies, scattered as they are over 
the universe, a rubber could always be found ; 
and that while I write these lines — it is now 
nearing miduight — men were scoring the hon- 



188 TObtet Iftu^^eta 

ors at Newfoundland, and marking the trick at 
Auckland. 

Let no rash opponent burst in by saying : ''Is 
it thus he speaks of a frivolous pastime ? Does 
he want to dignify as a science a vulgar amuse- 
ment, or establish as a test of capacity mere 
skill at a game ? " Nothing of the kind, most 
hasty and intemperate of critics. With the 
amount of skill or ignorance a man may dis- 
play at whist I have little concern. It is not of 
whist as a game I am treating, though I may 
add, in a parenthesis, that when I shall have 
addressed myself to the subject, Hoyle and 
Major A. will figure at a low mark in cheap 
catalogues, and even Deschapelles may be had 
for the ** binding.'' 

No ; my present business is with whist ethi- 
cally considered — whist regarded as the emblem 
of the man whisting — and it is in the elimina- 
tion of this as a theory that I lay claim to the 
honor of a discoverer. There may be some who 
will not accord me the patience, slight though 
it be, I crave ; some are already throwing down 
this paper ; some have arrived at the condemna- 



I 



'Mbf0tolo^l5 159 



tory ''Pshaw, what folly ! " But you, dear and 
valued reader, are not like these men — you will 
hear me for ''my cause.'* 

Let me, then, start with the declaration that 
whist includes a large range of high qualities, 
and a great extent of acquirement. The great 
whist-player must have patience, charity, for- 
giveness, forbearance, promptitude, consider- 
able readiness in emergency, fortitude under 
calamity, a clear faculty to calculate probabili- 
ties, an admirable memory, and a spirit at once 
self-reliant and trustful. Not alone must he 
be graced by these bright endowments, but be 
bland in manner, and a courtier in demeanor, 
and be able to exercise every one of these quali- 
ties at the moment of requirement, showing 
himself at the self-same instant of time mature 
in thought, quiet in action — a Murat in pursuit, 
a Massena in resistance, and a D'Orsay in 
politeness ! Whist, you are aware, is a perfect 
illustration of the law of evidence. You are 
given certain facts as the basis by which others 
are to be elicited. Your partner — I am speak- 
ing, of course, of one deserving of that name, 



190 TDClbfet IFluggets 

one versed in the game, educated in its wisest 
precepts, himself a man of capacity, and ani- 
mated by that spirit of responsibility which is 
the very essence of a player, and which whis- 
pers to him at each moment, *' It is not my own 
fate that is alone at stake, there is a fellow- 
creature associated with me here ; shall I by 
this knave bring joy to his heart, or will that 
club add another white hair to his whiskers?'* 
Such a man as this, I say, gravely arranging his 
cards with a mingled caution and quickness, 
leads a card, as the French say, ''invites." 
From that moment the issue of the cause opens : 
his card is the first witness on the table ; that 
witness may be a person of mark or note, he 
may be one of the middle rank of life, or some 
humble creature, some deuce of diamonds, 
merely sent forward, like a picket, to fire a shot 
and fall back. Whatever be the card, the ques- 
tion of evidence is opened, and as speedily do 
you ask yourself: "What does this imply?** 
The resources of your own hand aid you in the 
answer, and you are in an instant in possession 
of the motive. Now it may be that, fully appre- 



Tirabt6tol091^ 191 



dating the intention, and rightfully estimating 
all your partner's resources, yet still the amount 
of support he expects from you is not available. 
Your object is, therefore, at once to show him 
that you cannot come up to his aid, that you are 
weak in that arm of the service, and that the 
order of attack must be altered. 

You were a chief justice a moment back — you 
are a general in command now. The adversary 
has played, and what a flood of light breaks in 
upon you ! You perceive immediately the 
indication of strength in a certain color, con- 
sequently, the likelihood of weakness in some 
other suit, since Fortune generally deals in 
these caprices ; and thus thinking, your im- 
agination soars upward on the speculation of 
that strength and that weakness. He has this, 
but not that ; he wishes for a club ; he is afraid 
of the diamonds. The fancy thus exercised 
attains an ease and pliancy you have not experi- 
enced before, and you see, almost without know- 
ing it, a pack ! Now comes the strong attack — 
or is it really strong? Is not that king led out 
so boldly a single card ? and is this pretended 



192 Timbiat Iftug^cts 

strength not weakness, a mere bid of the oppo- 
sition, which cannot deceive an old habitud of 
the Treasury benches ? Ah, crafty politician 
that you are, how you have detected the clever 
bid for popular favor ! but you are not to be the 
dupe of such an artifice. You are called on to 
reply ; and now what a demand is suddenly 
made upon your memory, not alone for every 
card that has been played — that is a slight 
effort — but for every motive and impulse that 
suggested the play, and where the intention had 
met success, where failure ; why your partner 
discontinued this or persisted in that ; from 
what cause did he slight that advance, why 
seem to encourage that apparent failure. To 
your gifts of Lord Campbell, Napier, and 
Disraeli, you now add the calculating powers of 
a Babbage, all shrouded under the benevolence 
of a bishop, and the bland urbanity of a lord 
in waiting. 

As I must not rob my other and magnum 
opus of details of this sort, you will excuse 
my pressing this theme any further. I merely 
mean, by these few and passing remarks, to 



Mbl0tologi^ 193 



call your attention to the true nature of the 
game, and the qualities it requires. If you see 
by this that the great player must of necessity 
be a man of varied and remarkable gifts, you 
will also perceive how, in the deficiency of such 
qualities, inferior performers exhibit manifold 
traits of this nature, the wants of the intel- 
lectual man being, so to say, eked out and sup- 
plied by the resources of the moral man. The 
great artist, perfect and complete, answering to 
every demand, ready at any emergency, is a 
grand and a very imposing spectacle. He stands 
out like some faultless statue that you walk 
around with ever-increasing admiration. Still, 
in the high exercise of his genius, his true 
nature is little revealed, for neither successes 
elate nor reverses surprise him, and he is not the 
profitable subject of contemplation. 

It is your erring mortal, your whister, *' not 
too good for human nature's daily food," your 
man of weaknesses and frailties, yielding to 
temptation here, trustful to rashness there ; 
now credulous, now doubting ; over-confident 
at one moment, over-cowardly the next ; spend- 
13 



ig4 Timblst mug^ets 

thrift to-day, miserly to-morrow ; rash with his 
aces, and a niggard of some beggarly small 
trump, that might have spared his partner 
an *' honor." This is the man for our purpose ; 
watch him, mark him, even for one rubber, and 
you '11 know more of his real innate actual 
nature than his wife knows, who has been 
solacing and scolding him for five-and-twenty 
years. Look at the very manual indecision with 
which he extricates that card from his hand, 
and seems, even as he plays, half to recall it. 
Mark how his eyes follow it — his own card — 
not the adversary's, nor his partner's, but his 
own blessed four of spades, and a worthless 
adventure, of no value to any one, but a whole 
argosy to him, for it was once his^ and he 
played it. That man's heart is all selfishness. 
I know it. I see it. You may argue till you 
are blue, but you '11 not persuade me to the con- 
trary. Place him in a cabinet to-morrow, and 
he '11 only have a thought for the measure he 
initiates himself — a measure probably of equal 
pretension with his four of spades. He is a 
one-idea'd creature, and the one idea is himself. 



•Mbtstolog^ 195 



" Who led that card ? How is all this ? What 's 
to play?*' exclaims the sandy-eyebrowed man, 
with his long upper lip, and you see one who is 
always asking his way in life : begging this 
man to explain that leader in the Times, and 
beseeching every one to guide him somewhere. 
He is a bore, too, of that terrible category, the 
lackadaisical, making physical cold-blooded- 
ness stand for breeding, and thinking himself 
the pink of fashion when supremely imperti- 
nent. Well, he '11 meet his reward from that 
sharp-nosed old gentleman with the upstanding 
hair, and who has just turned the trick, as he 
would turn the key on a prisoner. Watch the 
unrelenting severity of that wicked old face as 
he leads out his trumps. Would n't he burn 
heretics ! Would n't he thrash his nigger, think 
ye ! No, he'll not leave you one — not one, sir ; 
his memory has not begun to fail him yet, and 
he remembers you have the ten, though you 
have just played the knave. There is a savage 
sort of haste, too, in the way he gathers up the 
tricks — he is afraid your sufferings might have 
even a second's respite. And oh, poor benighted 



i9<5 Wibiet mugget6 

little man with the large cravat and the mosaic 
pin, what possessed you to keep all your good 
cards to be trumped, holding back your notes till 
the bank broke ? You were a miser, that *s the 
secret of it, and you thought to carry off your 
wealth with you at last. At all events, you 
could n't part with it. It was so pleasant to 
turn it over and look at it, and mutter, '* Oh, I 
could make a show if I would ; but I won't. I '11 
leave it to those silly fools there to squander 
their substance ; but I '11 die rich ! " 

We now come to the distrustful player, the 
man who has no faith in his partner, and who, 
forgetful that his efficiency is entirely depend- 
ent upon a thorough good understanding 
with his colleague, bores along alone and un- 
seconded. This is a lamentable spectacle, and 
full of its moral teaching. You see such a man 
exactly as he would figure in the real world of 
life, ever encountering difficulties which only 
need the slightest amount of assistance to com- 
bat, but which, unaided, were insurmountable. 
You see him marring and deranging what 
might have proved skilful combinations but for 



TObfetolo^^ 197 



his dogged and stubborn self-reliance. Next in 
order of hopelessness is the uncertain, wavering 
player ; the man deterred by every chance 
obstacle, and continually altering his plans to 
suit some supposed necessity. He flies from 
hearts to spades, and from spades to diamonds ; 
and if you watch him in the actual world, you will 
see such a man desert his party in the House, or 
his friends out of it, whenever an adverse in- 
cident seems to threaten them with misfortune. 
Ivook at that careless fellow with the merry 
eye and the laughing mouth, and tell me, as he 
plays out all his best cards one after the other, 
if you do not recognize the spendthrift, that 
only lives on the present, and takes no heed for 
the future ? One half of that abundance he is 
dissipating would have achieved a victory if 
only expended with judgment and discretion ; 
but he does n't care for that ; does n't care 
when his melancholy partner explains how and 
and why they have been beaten, but, with some 
wise saw about being jolly under difficulties, is 
quite ready to begin again, and be worsted, as 
he was before. 



198 mbiat IRucjgets 

Is there a mood of man, is there an element 
of mind, or quality of temper, we have not here 
before us? The sanguine, the hopeless, the 
rash, the timid, the impetuous, the patient, the 
forgiving, the relentless, the easily baffled, and 
the stubbornly courageous man, are all there ; 
and there is also the man of memory and the 
man of none. The man playing out his game — 
just as he lives — from hand to mouth ; no calcu- 
lation, no foresight, no care for the future in his 
heart ; and there is, sad spectacle ! the wretched 
creature who loses his game rather than play 
some paltry trump ; and that man — take my 
word for it — would not spend sixpence in a 
cordial to restore life to the poor fellow rescued 
from drowning. Don't tell me this judgment 
of him is harsh, hasty or cruel. I have made 
these men my study. I have tracked them 
home at night, and seen them walk drearily 
back to their lodgings in the rain, rather than 
bestow a shilling for a cab, though the rheuma- 
tism and the cough will turn out to be a costlier 
luxury afterwards. 

Another variety also deserves mention, and it 



TObl6t0l09^ 199 



is one with which every whister must be famil- 
iar. The man who cares nothing about the 
game and everything for the stake ; the man 
who has no interest in the changeful fortunes 
of the fight, but is intently interested in the 
result, and everlastingly inquiring, '* "What was 
the amount of the rubber ? " as if the arithmetic 
was the real subject for anxiety. Such are, I 
grieve to own, the class who form successful 
men in the world. They look only to ''what 
pays," and in this one-idea'd pursuit of the 
profitable, they always beat out of the field 
those poor souls who have notions of credit, 
character, and distinction. 

As for that sanguine but not strong-headed 
individual who never suspects the adversary's 
strength, in the suit he has just led, because it 
has been suffered to go round once unmolested, 
I see the germs of an unfortunate speculator, 
the victim of Spanish " Threes" — " Poyais pre- 
ference shares." 

But as "there are manners of men," so are 
there whist-players, and it would only be to 
catalogue the moods of the one to enumerate 



the types of the other : The blindly hopeful 
creature, that will play his game out without 
the faintest shadow of a chance in his favor, 
true emblem of the fellow who actually does 
not know he is ruined till he reads his name as 
bankrupt in the Gazette ; and his antitype, the 
melancholy, despondent man, who, with four 
by honors, expects defeat, portraying the rich 
annuitant, who awakes every morning with the 
horror that he is to end his days in a poor-house. 
And let us not forget the plodding, hesitating, 
long-meditating player, who will not lay down 
on the table some miserable deuce of clubs 
without five minutes of what he fancies to be 
consideration. Go not to that man with a sub- 
scription-list for a poor family, ask not him to 
join you in a little effort to buy winter clothing 
for the naked, or firing for the shivering and 
destitute ; he will listen to you for an hour, if 
you like, but he will never give 3'ou a farthing. 
I have taken all the dark sides of the medal 
here, as my readers will perceive. I have re- 
corded none of those grand, heroic, self-devot- 
ing traits with which whist abounds ; I have 



1KIlbi6tol05B 201 



said nothing about those noble bursts of con- 
fidence with which this man will sacrifice 
his all that his partner may be triumphant ; as 
little mention have I made of those beautiful 
little episodes of charity, those touching in- 
stances of tender pity with which your great 
player overlooks the irregularities of some weak 
and erring adversary. Wonderfully affecting 
incidents, too, when one remembers that they 
come out in the very ardor of conflict : it is 
giving quarter in the thick of the battle, and 
amidst the dead and the dying. In fact, I am 
only fearful that if I but venture out farther on 
the vast ocean of Illustration, I may never see 
land again. Perhaps, however, I have set the 
stone in motion, and other stronger hands will 
nov^ lend it the impulse of a push. Perhaps the 
great moralist of the age, whoever he be, will 
revolve this theory in his mind, and render its 
application popular and easy. Perhaps who 
knows but the wise men they call Civil Service 
Commissioners may introduce whist into the 
list of subjects for examination, and tide-waiters 
be questioned on the " odd trick " ? 



mbi6t IWug^ets 



At all events, I trust that I have shown that 
whist has its ethical phase : that no man play- 
ing it can, no matter what his proficiency or his 
ignorance, no matter how eager or indifferent 
he may be, no matter how subtle to subdue 
emotion, or how guarded to cloak his wishes, — 
no man, I repeat, can shroud his real nature in 
obscurity, but must stand out revealed, and de- 
clared in his true character. The test is one 
that no subterfuge can escape from, no inge- 
nuity evade. 

^' Le style c^est Phommey^^ was the old maxim 
of a once famed philosopher, but a wiser age 
repudiates the adage, and proclaims that it is 
"whist is the man." With this declaration I 
have done. '^ Exegi monumentum "; to others 
I bequeath all the benefit of my researches, all 
the profit of my labors. The rubber is over. 
Good night ! 



All The Year Round, 





WHIST AT OUR CI.UB. 

A T our club, which is a most respectable 
^*^ club, a good deal of whist has been 
played during the last ten or twenty years. 
The time was when men used to meet together 
o' nights for the sake of cards and gambling. 
It was thus that Pox and his friends used to — I 
was going to say amuse themselves, but I fear 
that with them the diversion went beyond 
amusement. But with us at our club there is 
nothing of that kind. There are perhaps a 
dozen gentlemen, mostly well stricken in years, 
who, having not much else to do with their 
afternoons, meet together and kill the hours 
between lunch and. dinner. I do not know 
that they could find a wiser expedient for 
relieving the tedium of their latter years. I 
203 



204 timbtat mug^ets 



have said that they have nothing to do with 
their afternoons. I doubt whether many of 
them have much to do with their mornings. 
Breakfast, the newspaper, perhaps a letter or two, 
with a little reading, carry them on to lunch 
and their glass of sherry. After that there may 
be a little walking, or perhaps some gentle exer- 
cise on an easy cob, a slight flutter of impati- 
ence, and then at length the hour of delight has 
come. Between three and four the party is as- 
sembled, and the delight is reached which, for 
us, makes easy the passage to the grave. 

Every one knows how Talleyrand, the re- 
puted father of all modern French good say- 
ings is supposed to have remarked that he who 
did not learn to play cards was preparing for 
himself a melancholy old age. In looking 
round at these bald, gray, wrinkled, and some- 
what infirm companions of mine, who are 
gentlemen, and have, some of them, done some- 
thing in the world, I am often disposed to 
declare to myself that whoever said that saying 
spoke the truth. If we were not playing whist, 
what should we be doing ? 



Mbist at ©ur Club 205 

There comes a time of life when the work of 
life naturally ceases. The judge becomes deaf 
and resigns. The active civil servant is active no 
longer, and either takes a pension, or escapes 
early from his desk. The lawyer has made 
his fortune, or is forced to give way to newer 
men. The capacity for twelve hours of labor 
is at any rate gone. Books cannot be read for 
ever. If the mind would stand it — which it 
will not — the eyes would fail. Cricket, rowing, 
deer-stalking, even hunting and shooting are 
all gone. The women will not let you make 
love to them — unless you are rich and a bache- 
lor, and then the love-making is soon over. 
What else should an old gentleman do ? If he 
can say his prayers all the time, or give him- 
self up to continued meditation and the " label- 
ling of his thoughts'* — if he can dream 
Platonic Utopias, or theorize in his arm>chair 
on that still undiscovered '* greatest good" — 
then he may sink down quietly without the 
assistance of a card-table. To some, but only 
to a few, can it be given to relieve the tedium 
of a /ainSaut existence by the consciousness 



2o6 TDGlblet Budgets 

of the dignity of a parliamentary bench. If 
you can become a legislator, you may get 
through your hours, uneasily indeed, but with 
the satisfaction of self-importance. But if 
none of these things sufl&ce for you or be open 
to you, it will be well for you when you are old 
that you shall know something of the rules of 
whist and belong to such a club as ours. 

I do not think that there is among us much 
propensity to gambling. Some have, indeed, a 
keen eye to their money ; but they look rather 
to holding themselves harmless, and having 
their amusement for nothing, than to the mak- 
ing of any profit. One or two are perhaps 
buoyed up with the hope that the day may 
come when they shall make something, though 
the day never seems to come. Some are mani- 
festly indifferent, taking and pajdng their shil- 
lings without a feeling. I do not think that 
these get so much amusement out of the pro- 
ceeding as it ought to give. We have one old 
gentlemen who evidently likes to pay. The 
glory of making a trick is all the world to him ; 
but though he has played cards for many years. 



Wibiet at ®ur GIuD 207 

he never seems quite to have reconciled him- 
self to the idea of taking money out of another 
man's pocket. 

We play shilling points. Any member of 
the club who comes into that room can join 
any table which is not yet full at shilling 
points. And, as a rule, this modest limit is 
preserved. If, now and again, two gentlemen 
choose to bet a sovereign, no complaint is 
made. The habit is distasteful to the majority ; 
but a club is a club, and men like to feel them- 
selves free. As long as the rules of the club 
are not broken, the co-partners at the table can- 
not complain. In this way occasionally a little 
excitement is added ; but I do not think that the 
life, the spirit, the noise, the evident vivacity, 
and the generally happy disposition of the 
room, depend upon the gambling. If it did, 
there would be no content ; for I know no one 
who wins, and no one who loses. In spite of 
these sovereign bets, which perhaps are becom- 
ing a little more frequent than they used to be, 
I do not think that in our club anybody is ever 
injured in the way of money. They can afford 



2o8 TUflbtst muggct0 

to pay the stakes they lose, and are none the 
better for what they win. It is not thence that 
the excitement comes, and yet there is a great 
deal of excitement. 

Excitement is a great step towards happiness, 
particularly to those who are over sixty. Cicero 
has put into the mouth of the orator Antony an 
opinion which certainly was not his own. He 
makes Antony say that leisure — the doing of 
nothing — is the sweetest resource of old age. 
Old men have often said so ; but foxes also have 
often said that grapes were sour. Old men are 
as fond of activity, as much given to excite- 
ment, as prone to keep themselves busy, and 
to have what w^e may call a full life, as their 
juniors ; but these delights do not come easily 
to them. 

The failure in our powers, which envious 
nature prepares for us, affects our body, and 
perhaps unfortunately our minds, before it 
touches our wills. The lean and slippered 
pantaloon would be as full of wise instances as 
the justice, if he could get any one to hear him ; 
and the justice would, but for shame, be as full 



TKHbtst at ®ur CluD 209 



of strange oaths, and as jealous in honor, if not 
as quick in quarrel, as the soldier. The old man 
likes excitement if he can find it ; and they who 
frequent the next room to the whist-room at our 
club say that we have been successful in our 
search. Voices could not be so loud, contradic- 
tions so frequent, rebukes so rife — there could 
not be such rising storms, nor then such silent 
lulls, unless the occupation in hand were one 
on which those occupied were very much intent. 
The silence is as notable as the voices — and they 
are very notable ; a dozen men could not be so 
suddenly and so awfully silent unless engaged 
on something which fills their very souls with 
solicitude. And certainly no dozen men could 
make such a row — gentlemen too, old gentle- 
men, respectable old gentlemen — unless they 
were very much in earnest. 

I think the charm in our club comes from the 
fact that no one plays very well, but that we 
know enough of the rules to talk about them 
and to think that we play in accordance with 
them. All the recognized treatises on the game 
are in the room. We have taken great care on 



2IO mblet muggete 

that point ; and our allusions to Clay, Cavendish, 
and the great professors are so frequent as to 
make an unaccustomed bystander suppose that 
not one of us is ignorant of any one enunciated 
law. But the knowledge of laws and the 
practice of them are different things, especially 
when the practice has to be instantaneous, and 
when its efficacy depends on the memory of 
all that has gone before. Now I find that at our 
club everybody remembers his own cards, or, 
at any rate, those on which he has based his 
hopes of success, while no one remembers his 
partner's cards. But that the latter is the 
special memory which his partner expects from 
him. Therefore, there is often a diversity of 
opinion. 

I take it for granted that the injustice of each 
is never apparent to himself — the injustice of 
always demanding from another exactly that 
trouble which the unjust player never takes 

himself. **Good ! I played you the 

eight of spades, and you trumped it with the 
last trump, though you must have known that 
the seven was the only one left ! '* Then the 



TDQlbtet at ©ur CluD 211 

enraged speaker tears his hair and looks around. 
Or perhaps he is of a saturnine nature — more 
severe, but less demonstrative. '' Well, Dr. 
Pintale, if you call that whist, I don't." Upon 
that the severe one purses his lips together and 
is silent, intending to impress upon the com- 
pany around a conviction that Dr. Pintale's 
capacity for whist is of such a nature that words 
would be altogether thrown away upon him. 
Dr. Pintale for the moment is cowed. There is 
not a word to be said in excuse. No doubt he 
has thrown away a trick which a good player 
would have saved. He knows in his own heart 
that his dear friend, Sir Nicholas Bobtail, the 
partner who has just so severely punished him, 
and who, in any other matter, would move 
heaven and earth to succor him, never remem- 
bers the sevens and eights himself. Sir Nicholas 
makes as many blunders as anybody in the 
club, but has a sharp way of snarling, which 
often saves him from the criticism of his friends. 
Poor Dr. Pintale is meekness itself, till roused 
by exaggerated injuries, when sometimes he 
will say a word. '' I do call that rather hard," 



Timbl6t 'Unggcte 



continues Sir Nicholas, turning to one of his 
adversaries. '* With that trick we should just 
have been out, and I have n't won a rubber this 
afternoon." Poor Pintale sits quiet and repent- 
ant, but patting his soft fat hands together under 
the table as the irritation rises to his gentle 
heart. *'I wish you 'd tell me why you did it, 
Dr. Pintale?" asks Sir Nicholas, as though he 
really wanted information on the matter. 

Pintale would not have minded it so much 
had he not been called " Doctor." The Doctor 
and Sir Nicholas have been friends for the last 
thirty years. For all these years they have 
been '' Bobtail " and '* Pintale " to each other, 
long before any decorative letters, any D. C. L. 
or K. C. B. had been appended to their names. 
Either would have been prepared to write an 
epitaph for the other, attributing to him all the 
virtues which can adorn a man, a friend, and a 
Christian. But when you have petted up your 
penultimate best card, and have succeeded in 
extracting all the trumps except that happy 
remnant in your partner's hand ; when all your 
manoeuvres have been successful, and fortune 



TIGlblst at Q\AV Clul) 213 

has sat square upon your brow ; when the 
delightful moment has come for showing to 
friends and foes how complete has been your 
strategy, — then to be crushed by the fatuous 
inattention of your own ally — that is too much 
for human friendship ! It is as though one's 
own wife should turn against one in one's own 
profession. 

"I wonder why he did do it?" said Sir 
Nicholas, turning round to one of the expectant 
bystanders. 

" I 've seen you make the same mistake 
yourself fifty times," says the Doctor, pressed 
beyond his bearing. 

*'That 's a mere tu quoque^''^ says the K. C. B. 

"I *ve seen you do it a hundred times — two 
hundred times," rejoins the D. C. I^., very red 
in the face. Then the door is opened, and 
somebody looks in from the passages ; after 
which the matter is allowed to drop, the Doctor 
having evidently become a little ashamed 
of himself. 

The wonderful thing in whist is this, — that 
ignorance of any of those intricate rules by 



214 TObiat 1Ru^geti5 

which the game is governed is regarded as so 
disgraceful that nobody will admit it ; nor will 
any one allow that he is wanting in that perfect 
and prolonged practice without which no pro- 
ficient in any art can bring his rules to bear at 
the moment in which they are wanted ; and y«t 
players generally would be ashamed to have it 
supposed that they had devoted to a mere game 
of cards so great a proportion of their intellect 
and their time as to have mastered these rules, 
and to have familiarized themselves with the 
practice. Who would not be ashamed to be 
known as a first-class billiard-player, and to con- 
fess an intimacy so close with pockets, chalk, 
and ivory balls as to have left himself time for 
no more worthy pursuit ? For to play billiards 
as billiards can be played requires the energy of 
a life. Nor even will an ambitious man, or one 
who desires success in a profession, be anxious 
to be accounted among the grand chess-players 
of the day. The art of chess-playing, excellent 
as it is, does not lead to results great enough in 
themselves to justify the expenditure of labor 
and intelligence which is necessary for perfec- 



Mblet at Qm Club 215 

tion. We may say the same of all those amuse- 
ments which have by means of their own 
success so run over their original boundaries as 
to have become the subject of scientific study. 
Here and there a man has the leisure and the 
intellect, and in. the absence of a higher ambi- 
tion he devotes his life to elucidate a game. 
We admire his ingenuity, but we do not think 
very much of his career. There is something 
better to be done in the life of all of us than 
chess, or billiards, or whist. In regard to the 
two former, no one demands that others shall 
play well. But in whist it seems to be implied 
that if a man does nof know and practise all 
the rules which have ever been invented, he 
ought to be ashamed of himself ! This is car- 
ried so far in our club that every player is pre- 
sumed to know all the rules — and to depart 
from them, not from inexperience, not from 
ignorance, not from temporary aberration of 
mind, but from some devilish malignity which 
has induced him at that moment to do evil that 
others might be tormented. 
At our club the main rules are known. They 



2i6 imbiet Mnggcte 

are so frequently discussed that it is impossible 
that we should forget them. Clay and Caven- 
dish are in our hands at every turn. With five 
trumps, the worst amongst us would lead a 
trump. When we are weak ourselves, we do 
not force our partners. We know how \.o finesse 
a queen, and I think we generally count the 
trumps, — at any rate, early in the afternoon. 
There are laws the keeping of which does not 
require the player to travel much beyond the 
consideration of his own cards. But we have 
not arrived at the reading of our partner's hands, 
and hence chiefly come those angry words and 
fiery looks, which do upon the whole, I think, 
increase rather than diminish our enjoyment. 
If I throw away a card from a weak suit, it is 
certainly a grievous thing to have a low card 
in that very suit at once led me, and to know 
that this has been done because my partner 
would not take the trouble to watch the card as 
it fell from my hand. The stormiest five minutes 
that I ever remember came from such a cause 
as this. Our Mr. Polden — everybody knows 
old Dick Polden as one of the softest-hearted 



Mbt6t at ©ur CluD 217 

human beings that ever became the prey to 
begging letter-writers and weeping women — 
does not play very well himself. He is an eager, 
excitable man, whose mind never remains fixed 
long on the same thing, and who, I may say, 
almost invariably forgets to practise the care 
which he expects others to exercise in his 
behalf. I do not think that he is really chol- 
eric, but he has an unfortunate tone of voice 
and a trick of eyebrow which make a bj^stander 
think sometimes that he will very soon proceed 
to blows. Those who know him are aware that 
he is not himself conscious at these moments 
of exceeding the mildest forms of friendly re- 
monstrance. He was playing not long since with 
Admiral Green as his partner. The Admiral is 
a very constant attendant at our club, and per- 
haps the best player that we have. He is gen- 
erally a quiet man, but he has a nasty habit of 
looking round and smiling when his partner 
makes an egregious blunder, which some of us 
dislike worse even than being objurgated. On 
this occasion, Dick Polden had two strong suits 
in his hand, and one was weak ; but on the 



2i8 llXUbiet IRuGgets 

whole he was playing what he considered a 
great game. He had called for trumps, and had 
thrown away a card from his weak suit. We 
who were playing against him, I and poor, dear 
Grimley — Sir Peter Grimley, who has since been 
taken away from us — knew well what Polden 
was about. At such moments he wriggles in his 
chair, raises his body a couple of inches in tri- 
umphant expectation, and tells the whole tale 
of his heart to those who watch him. 

How it was that such a player as the Admiral 
should at such a moment have led from the dis- 
carded suit, none of us could understand. 

Grimley declared that it was intended as a 
rebuke to poor Polden's somewhat noisy antici- 
pation. I never could believe that, as the 
Admiral is fond of his money, which on this 
occasion he not only risked, but lost. As soon 
as the peccant card showed itself on the table, 

Polden lost all control. ''Good !" he 

exclaimed, raising both his hands, quite indiffer- 
ent to the fact that he was thus showing all his 
cards. ** Polden,'' said the baronet, "that is 
not whist.'* **No," said Polden, very hotly; 



1imbl6t at ©ur Glub 219 



**No; certainly it is not whist. Of course he 
saw my heart ; he could n't but see it. Every- 
body knows that he sees everything. I wonder, 
Grimley, what you would have said if that had 
happened to you ? ' ' 

" I should have sworn horribly ; but it would 
have been inwardly, so that no one would have 
heard me," said Grimley. 

*' And what would he have said if I had done 
it to him ? " continued Polden. Perhaps of all 
forms of abuse, that of addressing yourself to 
a third person, and of calling your sinning 
partner ** he " or '* him," is the most provoking. 
During all this time the game was going on, and 
the Admiral had only smiled. At every new 
contortion of Polden 's face the Admiral smiled 
again ; and as Polden became all contortions, so 
did the Admiral become all smiles. At last the 
climax was reached. A queen from Polden 's 
long suit of spades was taken by the king, and 
then his ace was trumped. All this misfortune, 
no doubt, had come from the Admiral's blunder. 
Polden's case was one of great hardship, but 
when he flung down his cards, declaring that 



220 Timbi6t 'Uxxggcte 



he could n't play against three adversaries, and 
when his cards were therefore called, and when 
the Admiral quietly showed that had they been 
kept up the game might have been saved, — then 
it was evident, even to Polden himself, that he 
had been in the wrong. And he was a man 
who could dare anything while hot passion gave 
him the consciousness of right, but who was 
cowed at once when a feeling that he was in 
fault had crept in upon him. When the proof 
had been made perfect that the game might 
have been saved, he passed his hand over his 
bald head, and sank back, tamed, upon his 
chair. 

** No doubt,'' said the Admiral, taking the two 
packs of cards under his two hands, so as to 
prevent the immediate continuation of the play ; 
*' no doubt I made a mistake with that heart." 

*'Iyet us say no more about it," said Polden. 

" A few words, if you please. We will wait 
half a minute, if you do not object, Sir Peter." 
For Grimley, knowing what was coming, had 
made an attempt to get at one of the packs, so 
as to lessen, by action, the strength of the 



1 

md I 



TObist at ©ur Club 



Admirars coming attack. ** I made a foolish 
mistake. But I do not think that that justified 
you in throwing your arms about like a de- 
mented windmill. I was driven by your words 
and actions and looks to think whether in kind- 
ness we ought not to speak to your friends." 
Had the Admiral spoken in an angry tone there 
would have been nothing in it. We are so used 
to angry tones, and have become so conscious 
that they are to be regarded as merely an organ 
accompaniment to our generally pleasant music, 
that had the Admiral condescended to be noisy, 
we should simply have been anxious to get hold 
of the cards and begin again. But his tranquil- 
lity afflicted us all, and absolutely quelled poor 
old Polden. 

"You 're making too much of it," said the 
Baronet. 

"Not at all," said the Admiral. "I shall 
expect Mr. Polden to apologize." 

Apologize ! that was more than any of us 
could stand. A crowd of men from the other 
tables had now congregated round us. Among 
us all Dick Polden was, perhaps, the most gen- 



Iimbist 1Flugget6 



erally popular. Who but he would give up his 
right to a place to another player ? Who but 
he would remain beyond his time to make up 
a rubber for others ? Who but he would take 
the chair close to the fire if it were hot, or expose 
his shoulder to the window if it were cold ? 
When did Polden willingly tread on any man's 
com, or fail to soothe any man's vanity ? When 
little subscriptions have had to be raised, who 
has everknowm Polden to refuse his guinea? It 
was out of the question that he should be 
reduced to the ignominy of an apology. And, 
moreover, the very fact of an apology having 
been demanded and given would be evidence of 
a quarrel, and it had always been a point with 
us to declare that, though we were loud, we 
never quarrelled. We should have been ashamed 
of our excitability as respectable old gentlemen 
had we not always been able to assert that each 
loud enunciation had been simply an amusing 
incident of our game. When the Admiral spoke 
of an apology, we all felt that he was ignorant 
of the very nature of the bond which united us. 
If we could not bear each other's ways without 



Wibiet at ©ur Club 223 

apologies, the whist must be given up. And 
from dear old Polden too, who at this moment 
was almost in tears ! 

'*I don't think that can be necessary," said 
Dr. Absolom. Dr. Absolom had once been one 
of the royal doctors, and is a man of authority. 
By dint of a commanding brow and a loud, 
steady voice he has acquired a sort of influence 
over us. His whist is not good, but no one 
ventures to scold him much. * ^ Perhaps, doc- 
tor, if you had played so and so," is the extent 
to which we go with him. '*If I had, the 
event might perhaps have been different," he 
will reply with dignity. . The altercation with 
Dr. Absolom is never carried beyond that. 

^* Perhaps, Dr. Absolom, you did not hear the 
remarks which were made," said the angry 
Admiral. 

If I love any one, I love Polden. 

^* I heard them," said I, *' and they were very 
fierce. But I should have thought that we all 
understood Polden's ferocity by this time." 

'' Was I fierce ? " asked Polden piteously. 

*' I should think you were," said the Baronet, 



224 'Mbiet IWuggete 



*' and so should I have been. But as for apolo- 
gies, bless my soul ! if we come to that we had 
better give it all up." Then there was a general 
acclamation that nothing more was to be said 
about it, during which the Admiral subsided. 
For the next day or two he was rather stiff in 
his manner to Mr. Polden, but before the end 
of the week everything was right again. 

That, I think, was the nearest approach to a 
quarrel that we ever had, and a rumor of it I 
fear, got through the club. But in answer to 
all questions we have all of us been firm in our 
assertions that there was no quarrel. 

That system of *' calling" is, of all self-im- 
posed torments, the most tormenting. Readers, 
no doubt, will understand what ''calling" 
means. When you wish your partner to lead 
you a trump, you play your cards from some 
other suit out of their proper course — throwing 
down, say, the ten on the first round, and the 
deuce on the second. Players, I think, are 
generally of opinion that it injures the game — 
and no doubt it does more harm than good if the 
partner who is called to does not see the call. 



mbist at Qux CluD 225 

But it has this advantage, that it gives an indif- 
ferent player a great facility for playing a game 
of his own, and for scolding his partner for not 
assisting him. It creates an equality. For 
though it may be difficult to observe a call, 
nothing can be easier than calling itself. ** You 
did n't see my call," says the injured one after- 
wards — or very frequently not waiting till 
afterwards. 

" Did you call ? " 

**Well, rather. It would have made two 
tricks' difference — that 's all." 

Then the offending one, knowing that this 
must be an exaggeration, goes to work — not to 
defend himself, but to prove that at the outside 
one trick only would have been saved, had he 
been attentive. 

It seems to me that at our club one's partner 
never sees a call, but that it is very often seen 
by the adversaries. Therefore, at our club, if 
you are particularly anxious that trumps should 
not be led, so that you may ruff this suit or the 
other, then is the time to call. 

You have two adversaries, but only one part- 
's 



226 mbist muggets 

ner. If you know your man, you may perhaps 
be almost sure that he will be blind ; — and in 
this way you stop your enemy from playing his 
game, and get him to play yours. 

** You have no right to look like that when 
you call,** Sir Nicholas said the other day to 
Dr. Pintale. 

** I may look as I please," said the Doctor. 

" Certainly not. When you put down your 
second card in that way, and then look up at 
your partner, you might just as well say out 
loud what you want. I appeal to the table." 

Dr. Absolom and Mr. Poser were playing. 
Mr. Poser is a young man under fifty, who has 
come in among us I hardly know why, and who 
writes poetry, which I hope is better than his 
whist. He is an amusing man, and we rather 
like having a poet. 

*^ My friend, Dr. Pintale, is perhaps a little 
demonstrative," said Dr. Absolom. 

*' Ivcsbia hath a calling eye," sang Mr. Poser; 
** and some of us know for what he calleth." 

Then it was presumed that the evidence had 
been adverse to Dr. Pintale ; and he was con- 



TKIlbiet at Qnt Club 227 

strained to promise that he would henceforth 
keep his features in better order. 

Mr. Thompson's objection to the practice — a 
practice which he never could bring himself in 
the least to understand — was, I think, both true 
and picturesque. Mr. Thompson is a clergyman 
who, in former days, did the light work of a 
city parish, whose church has been pulled down, 
and who therefore, feeling that his own clerical 
position has been, as it were, stolen from him, 
disports himself, very quietly, like a layman. 
It is he who is so greedy of making tricks, and 
is so unwilling to take the money that he wdns. 
He is an old man, of a sweet temperament, and 
much tinged with romance. *^Why graft 
another thorn upon the rose ? " said he — *^ and 
a sharper thorn than those with which nature 
has surrounded her ? " 

But in very truth it is the presence of the 
thorns which constitutes the delight of our 
whist. I used to think, when I would walk 
home from our club after a bout of scolding 
which had lasted the whole afternoon, that there 
was something in our eager words derogatory 



228 TlClblet IFluagets 

to the dignity of old age, and I have asked 
myself more than once whether it would 
not become me to abandon a pursuit which 
evidently could not be followed without hard 
words. 

For I was soon convinced that whist without 
scolding was altogether out of the question. 
But after a little I began to think that the exer- 
citation was in itself healthy. As a lot of boys 
on a playground together can hardly make too 
much noise as long as they do not fight, so in 
regard to old men, if they do not quarrel, why 
should they be restrained from that manifesta- 
tion of interest which eager loud words evince ? 
To sit and play whist dumb, or with casual 
word about the fire, or the table, or the state of 
the atmosphere, w^ould be so dull that men could 
only be kept at it by some desire of making 
money. Of that stain there is, I think, nothing 
at our club. And therefore, when I found how 
strong was the determination to silence the Ad- 
miral when he talked about an apology — how 
resolute we all were that there should be no 



mbiat at ®ur CIuD 



22C) 



acknowledgment of the evidence of a quarrel — 
I reconciled myself to the noise, and took 
comfort in assuring myself that whist, as played 
at our club, is a wise resource for old gentlemen. 
Blackwood^ s Magazine, 





A HAND AT CARDS.* 

CAVKNDISH in his Card Essays gives us 
the story of ''The Duffer Maxims," and 
some anecdotical matter of an amusing nature 
about the talkers. By way of appendix to sober 
instruction, we have thought to introduce the 
conversation verbatim during a single hand of 
four persons seated for the purpose of "playing 
whist/' as each of them called the performance, 
— r-literally, however, a rollicking exhibition 
that should be named 



Pl^AYING AT Pl^AYING WHIST. 

The play is by the five-point game. The 
score is o. C. deals and turns the 9 of hearts. 

* By permission of the author and of Messrs, Hough- 
ton, Mifflin, & Co. 

230 



B IbanD at CarDa 231 

'* There," says C, '' That 's the way you treat 
me, I never get an honor in the world, but 
when / cut, somehow, I always cut for some- 
body else." 

B. takes up his hand, sorts it. It is composed 
of ace and 2 of spades, kn., 6, and 3 of hearts, 
qu., kn., 9, and 7 of diamonds, and 7, 6, 5, and 
4 of clubs, and he begins the usual growl : ' * I 
should like to know how anybody is going to 
get anything out of this. I never can get a 
hand." [That is to say, he does not hold ace, 
k., and qu. of three plain suits, and the four 
honors in trumps. Give him these cards every 
time and he would be pleased to play whist.] 
*'I suppose I must play something. There's 
a diam9nd ; that 's according to rule, anyhow," 
and throws the 7. 

** You don't strike me very heavily," says D., 
**but I can follow suit," and throws the 6. He 
holds the k., 10, 8, 7, 6 of spades, the kn. and 
7 of hearts, the ace, k., qu., and 2 of clubs, and 
the k. and 6 of diamonds. 

" I can take that," says A., throwing the ace, 
*'that is, unless it 's trumped." He holds the 



232 Wibiet 'Unggcts 

5, 4, and 3 of spades, the ace, qu., 10, 4 and 2 
of hearts, the ace, 10, 8, 3, and 2 of diamonds, 
and no club. * 'Are you going to trump that, C. ? " 

*'No,'* says G., *'l can't trump anything, 
nor take anything either, I guess,'' and plays 
the 4. He holds the qu., kn., and 9 of spades, 
the 9, 8, and 5 of hearts, the kn., 10, 9, 8, and 3 
of clubs, and the 5 and 4 of diamonds. 

*' Now," says A., '* let 's try a little trump," 
and throws the 4 of hearts. 

" Coming at us early, are you ? " says C, and 
he plays the 5. 

** I '11 try to get that," says B., and throws 
the kn. 

"No you don't," says D., and bangs the k. 
upon the trick. ^ 

** Well, I did n't expect it," says B., ** It was 
the best that I had. If we get out of this with- 
out losing the whole thing /shall be glad." 

** Now," says D., "there's a club for you," 
throwing the k. 

A. determines, "I'll let that travel," and 
throws the 3 of spades ; C. 3 of clubs, B. 4. "I 
didn't know but you might have the ace," said 



B IbauD at CavD6 . 233 

A. to B. "He might have led from king and 
queen." 

'*Yes, that*s so," said B.; '* of course you 
could n't tell." [N. B. Trumping the trick 
would have made no difference in result.] 

*' Well, I '11 have one of your trumps, any- 
way," says D., and throws the queen of clubs. 
A. trumps unwillingly with the 2 of hearts ; C. 
plays the 8 of clubs, and B. the 5. 

** Now, we'll see about this," says A., and 
plays the 10 of hearts. He remembers that the 
k. and kn. have fallen, and thinks he knows 
whist pretty well to lead the 10 now instead of 
the ace. C. plays 8, B. 3, and D. 7. **You 
have another,'* says A. to C, for he remembered 
the 9 was turned — another positive proof to 
himself of great proficiency in whist. A. qu., 
C. 9, B. 6, D. 6 of spades. 

" Now I '11 give my partner his suit." Proof 
number three of skill and information about 
the game ; and he throws the 3 of diamonds, C. 
5, B. kn., D. k. 

** I '11 have that trump anyhow," says D., and 
plays the ace of clubs, displaying Ms embracing 



234 mbi6t IHuggets 

knowledge of whist, that will not only not let 
a trump remain in the opponent's hand, but 
dares to sacrifice a high card to bring it out. 
D. ace of clubs, A. ace of hearts, C. 6 of clubs, 

B. 5 of clubs. Then A. plays 2 of diamonds, 

C. 9 of clubs, B. qu. of diamonds, D. 2 of clubs • 
B. 9 of diamonds, D. 7 of spades, A. 10 of dia- 
monds, C. 10 of clubs ; A. 8 of diamonds, C. 8 
of spades, B. 7 of clubs, D. 9 of spades. Three 
rounds in silence. No help for it. 

**Now," says D., **we '11 have something 
else." A. leads the 5 of spades, C. plays qu., 
B. ace, and D. 10. 

" Any more aces ? " says D. 

** No, only a little spade that I suppose you 
will get," says B., and plays the 2, taken by 
D.'s king. 

** All right, we 're three by card," says B. ^' I 
should never have guessed it by the looks of 
7?iy hand," 

** You must remember I helped you a little," 
says A. 

" We stopped you from going out, that 's all 
that I thought we C02ild do," says C. 



B IbanD at GarDe 235 

"Well, we got all that there was; there 
did n't any of them get away," says A. 

**Come on, it 's my deal," says B., " cut the 
cards. ' ' 

"Yes, and I suppose cut you an honor," 
says C. 

And so the game goes charmingly on. 

This and like to this, is the talk or the thought 
of hundreds of card-handlers. These players 
had no idea of what the cards they held were 
capable, and thought they were really playing 
them in accordance with their value. 

IvCt us place the same cards in the hands of 
good American whist-players, who read them as 
they fall, drawing the inferences they offer, but 
under the law of their game speaking not a 
word, and I see how A. and B., from the same 
beginning, compel the entire game before the 
adversaries secure a trick. 

B. throws the 7 of diamonds, the correct lead, 
from his hand ; D. plays the 6. A. instantly 
reasons this wise : ' ' My partner must have 
three higher cards. He cannot have k. andqu.. 



236 TObt6t ViuggctB 



or he would have led the k.; he cannot havek. 
and kn., or he would have lead the 9 ; he holds 
the qu., kn., and g. The 6 is played on my 
right. D. is probably not calling, for I have 
five trumps. Either the k. is there alone, or D. 
has no more. If he has no more, k. with 
another held by C. will take at any rate. I 
must pass the trick to catch the card upon 
my right." 

All this that takes so long to write and to 
read flashes instantaneously through the mind 
of a good player. 

A throws the 3 of diamonds, for not only 
must he not play the ace, but he must not 
take the trick because he must not have the 
lead ; C. throws the 4. B. at once takes in the 
situation and leads the highest of his trumps. 
D. can gain nothing by refusing to throw k. 
If A. has ace, and k. is not played, it will not 
cover kn.; and if C. has neither ace nor qu. 
(for B. can have neither of these), C. is to be 
helped by D.'s play, calling, in trumps, two 
honors for one. If A. holds both ace and qu., 
of course D.'s play is fruitless. B. kn. of hearts, 



a IbanD at GatD6 237 

D. k., A. ace, C. 5. A. draws the other trumps 
with qu. and 10, plays the ace of diamonds on 
which the k. must fall, and continues the dia- 
monds, — B. having thrown the kn. on ace that 
he may be out of A.'s way, for from C.'s play 
of the 4 and 5 the rest of the diamonds are 
marked with A. B. having taken the small 
diamond next led with the qu., throws the ace 
of spades, as he sees that with A.'s diamonds 
and trumps the game is won. B. leads the 9 of 
diamonds, A. takes with the 10, plays the 8, 
and then the trumps; claiming five points 
and game. 

As we close this text-book devoted to the 
students of the wondrous game, we kindly 
recommend those who are careless about the pro- 
prieties, to contrast the manner of this play of 
the same cards, to consider the folly of making 
remarks while the game is in progress, and to 
derive such satisfaction as they may from the 
illustration, that defines the difference between 
Pi^AYiNG WHIST and playing at playing whist. 
American Whist Illustrated by G, W, P 




A WHIST PARTY * 

MR. GAL ANT (who is an authority at his 
club). — Are you fond of whist, Mrs. 
Bland ? 

Mrs. Bi,and [his hostess and partner),— 0\i, 
immensely ! I fear, though, I am a little out 
of practice. 

Mr. GaIvAnt [who has his misgivings about 
ladies' whist). — Perhaps you would prefer a 
game of euchre ? 

Mrs. Bi,and. — Oh, no, indeed ! I know how 
devoted you are to whist. Mr. Bland often 
speaks of your prowess. 

Miss Fichu [07ie antagonist). — Oh, we must 
play whist. I shall be too proud if we win ; and 
if we lose, it is only what we ought to expect. 

* By permission of Messrs. Chas. Scribner's Sons. 
238 



B Wimet part^ 239 

Young Darby {another antagonist). — Why, 
you know, Mr. Galant, it is really awfully 
plucky our standing up against you at all ! 

Mr. Gai^ant {who does n't see much sport 
ahead for himself), — Well, then, we '11 get to 
work. Will you ladies cut for the deal ? 

Mrs. Bi,and {cutting an ace). — Oh, dear, low 
deals, and I *ve the very highest card in the# 
pack ! 

Mr. Gai^anT. — The deal is yours ; ace is low 
in the deal cut 

Mrs. Bi,and. — Oh, yes, I remember now. 
How stupid of me ! 

Mr. GAiyANT {involuntarily). — Don't men- 
tion it ! 

Mrs. Bi,and {looking at her cards). — Fancy 
my dealing such a hand to myself ! Mr. Galant, 
I hope I 've treated you better. 

Mr. GAI.ANT {dryly).— "Thsinks. 

Miss Fichu.— Have I got to lead ? I do so 
hate to do that. 

Young Darby {encouragingly). —IS you '11 
lead any one of three suits I '11 agree to take 
it. 



240 'mbiet IFluggets 

Mrs. BIvAND. — But beware how you lead the 
fourth, for that I shall win. 

Mr. Gai^ant (onuses to himself). — Three 
aces on my left and one in my partner's hand. 
This is whist. 

Mrs. BiyAND (later in the same hand). — Well, 
there 's the queen, too. I like to use up a suit 
,while its fresh. 

Miss Fichu.— So do I ; it 's so easy to re- 
member about it then. 

Young Darby (trumping the trick). — Your 
queen is doomed, though, Mrs. Bland. 

Mrs. Bi,and.— Oh, Mr. Darby, that is n't 
polite at all. Now, that I think of it, you played 
the knave on my king, did n't you ? 

Mr. Gai^ant (faintly).— Y^s, ma'am. 

Mrs. Bi^and.— Oh, how stupid of me ! I 
might have known. 

Mr. Gai^ant {at the end of the hand). — You 
had good trump cards, Mrs. Bland. I presume 
you did not notice my trump signal ?. 

Mrs. Bi,and. — Oh, I had forgotten all about 
that. I must watch next time ! 



B mbtet pavt^ 241 

Miss Fichu. — Oh, is it my lead again? I^et 
me see — '' When in doubt lead trumps.'* 

Young Darby {approvingly). — A very good 
play, Miss Fichu. 

Mrs. Bi,and. — But the trick is ours with my 
ace. Now, {fingering a card,) you led me 
something, Mr. Galant. What in the world 
was it ? 

Mr. GaIvAnT {whose misgivings have become 
certainties). — I can hardly tell you that, you 
know\ 

Mrs. BiyAND. — Of course not. How unfor- 
tunate that I do not recall it, though ; it was a 
heart or a diamond. 

Miss Fichu {facetiously).— h^o^di. both. 

Mrs. Bi,and.— I wish I might. I '11 follow 
your example, and solve my doubt in trumps. 

Young Darby. — How charming of you, Mrs. 
Bland ; I was so hoping you might. 

Mrs. Bi,and. — Oh, Mr. Darby, did you want 
it? 

Mr. Darby. — Above all things. Did n't you 
hear me applaud Miss Fichu's trump lead? 



242 Tllllbiet IRu^gete 

Mrs. Bi^and. — Of course you did. How very 
stupid ! 

Mr. Darby (complacently leading his cards 
with a jerk), — I believe the trumps are all out, 
and all ray spades are good. Can you take this 
— or this — or this — oH, I miscounted. Mr. 
Gal ant has the last spade. 

Mrs. Bi,and (eagerly),— 0\i, what does that 
do? 

Mr. Gai^ant (dryly), — It gives them four 
instead of five. 

Mrs. Bland (quite relieved), — Oh, you have 
saved the day, Mr. Galant ! 

Miss Fichu. — And we have won the game, 
with two to spare. 

Mrs. Bland. — Oh, is that really so ? 



Miss Fichu (on Young Darby's arm later, 
promenading the rooms), — We have been play- 
ing whist with Mr. Galant. Do ask us who 
won four games out of five ; we 're too modest 
to proffer the information. 

* ^ * 



B TObiet ipart^ 



243 



Miss Parachute: {to watting friends), — Oh, 
dear, I felt sure Mr. Galant could make a fourth 
hand at our game of whist, and I just begged 
him to do so ; but he says he does n't know 
one card from another ! 

Phiup H. Wei^ch. 





AT BOVOR.-PIvAY A GREAT 
GAME OF WHIST.* 

T^ VBNING after dinner. On the moat in a 
^ punt with Knglefield. Dark night : cold : 
damp : romantic but for this. Englefield says, 
abruptly, ''Capital point." I ask here, what? 
He replies, " Two fellows, one the Villain, the 
other Injured Innocence, in punt : real water 
easily done on the stage. Villain suddenly 
knocks Injured Innocence into the water : he 
sinks : is caught in the weeds below : never 
rises again. Or, on second thought, is n't 
drowned, but turns up somehow in the last 
Act." I own it a good idea, and propose going 
in-doors, as I see Mrs. Childers making tea. 

* By permission of the author and of Messrs. Bradbury, 
Agnew, & Co., London, and of Messrs. Roberts Brothers, 
Boston. 

244 



Bt JBovot 245 



In-doors. — Stenton, the philosopher, says, 
**Tea is an incentive. So much tea is found 
in every man's brain." Poss says it ought to 
be a caution to anybody not to use hot water 
to his face, or he might turn his head into a 
tea-pot. I 'm sorry Poss turns this interesting 
theme into ridicule, as I like hearing Stenton's 
conversation. He has a deep bass voice which 
is very impressive. There is a pause. Con- 
sidering that we are all more or less clever 
here, it is wonderful how dull we are. I sup- 
pose that the truth is we avoid merely friv- 
olous and commonplace topics. Knglefield, 
who is a nuisance sometimes, suddenly looks 
at me, and asks me *'to say something funny." 
I 'm glad they know nothing of the Pig- 
squeaking song. 

I smile on him pityingly. Childers says, 
''Come, you 're last from town, have n't you 
got any good stories ? " This poses me : I know 
fellows who could recollect a hundred. I know 
fellows, merely superficial, shallow men, who 
are never silent, who have a story or a joke for 
everything. I consider, ''L,et me see " : I try 



246 limbiet mucjgeta 

to think of oue. The beginningvS of twenty 
stories occur to me mistily. Also the com- 
mencement of riddles as far as '* Why is a — ," 
or ** When is a — ," I 've got some noted down 
in my pocket-book, if I could only get out of 
the room and refer to it quietly in the passage. 
I can't take it out before everybody ; that 's 
the worst of an artificial memory. 

Happy Thought. — To read two pages of Mac- 
millan's Jest Book every morning while dress- 
ing, committing at least one story to memory. 

Childers proposes ^' Whist." I never feel 
certain of myself at whist : I point to the fact 
that there are four without me. Poss Felmyr 
says if I '11 sit down he '11 cut in presently. *' I 
play?" I reply, **Yes, a little." I am Sten- 
ton's partner : Bnglefield and Childers are 
against us. Sixpenny points, shilling on the 
rub. Stenton says to me, "You '11 score." 
Scoring always puzzles me. I know it 's done 
with half a crown, a shilling, a sixpence, and a 
silver candlestick. Sometimes one bit of money 
is under the candlestick, sometimes two. 



Bt :fl3ovor 247 



Happy Thought. — To watch Englefield scor- 
ing : soon pick it up again. 

First Rubber, — Stenton deals : Childers is 
first hand, I 'm second. Heart trumps : the 
Queen. It 's wonderful how quick they are in 
arranging their cards. After I 've sorted all 
mine carefully, I find a trump among the clubs. 
Having placed him in his position on the right 
of my hand, I find a stupid Three of Clubs 
among the spades : settled him. Lastly, a King 
of Diamonds upside down, which seems to 
entirely disconcert me ; put him right. Engle- 
field says, **Come, be quick'' : Stenton tells 
me **not to hurry myself." I say I 'm quite 
ready, and wonder to myself what Childers 
will lead. 

Childers leads the Queen of Clubs. I con- 
sider for a moment what is the duty of second 
hand ; the word ** finessing " occurs to me here. 
I can't recollect if putting on a three of the 
same suit is finessing : put on the three, and 
look at my partner to see how he likes it. He 
is watching the table. Englefield lets it go, my 
partner lets it go ; the trick is Childers'. I feel 



248 mbi6t mucj^ets 

that somehow it 's lost through my fault. His 
lead again : spades. This takes me so by sur- 
prise that I have to rearrange my hand, as the 
spades have got into a lump. I have two spades, 
an ace and a five. Let me see, *' If I play the 
five I — " I can't see the consequence. "If I 
play the ace it must win unless it 's trumped." 
Stenton says in a deep voice, ''Play away." 
The three look from one to the other. Being 
flustered, I play the ace : the trick is mine. I 
wish it was n't as I have to lead. I 'd give 
something if I might consult Poss, who is 
behind me, or my partner. All the cards look 
ready for playing, yet I don't like to disturb 
them. Let me think what 's been played 
already. Stenton asks me, "If I 'd like to 
look at the last trick ? " As this will give me 
time, and them the idea that I am following out 
my own peculiar tactics, I embrace the offer. 
Childers displays the last trick. I look at it. I 
say, "Thank you," and he shuts it up again. 
Immediately afterwards I can't recollect what 
the cards were in that trick : if I did it would n't 
help me. They are becoming impatient. 



m :J5o\?or 249 



About this time somebody's Queen of Dia- 
monds is taken. I was n't watching how the 
trick went, but I am almost certain it was fatal 
to the Queen of Diamonds ; that is to say, if it 
7£jas the Queen of Diamonds ; but I don't like 
to ask. The next trick, which is something in 
spades, trumped by Kngleiield, I pass as of not 
much importance. Stenton growls, " Did n't I 
see that he 'd got no more spades in his hand." 
No, I own I did n't. Stenton, who is not an 
encouraging partner, grunts to himself. In a 
subsequent round, I having lost a trick by lead- 
ing spades, Stenton calls out, *' Why, didn't 
you see they were trumping spades?" I de- 
fend myself ; I say I did see him, Englefield, 
trump one spade, but I thought that he had n't 
any more trumps. I say this as if I 'd been 
reckoning the cards as they 've been played. 

Happy Thought. — Try to reckon them, and 
play by system next rubber. 

I keep my trumps back till the last ; they '11 
come out and astonish them. They do come 
out and astonish me. Being taken by surprise 



250 TObiet IKlua^ete 

I put on my king when I ought to have played 
the knave, and both surrender to the ace and 
queen. I say, ** Dear me, hov7 odd ! " I think 
I hear Stenton saying sarcastically in an under- 
tone, '*0 yes; confoundedly odd." I try to 
explain, and he interrupts me at the end of the 
last deal but two by saying testily, *'It's no 
use talking, if you attend, we may just save the 
odd." 

Happy Thought, — Save the odd. 

My friend, the Queen of Diamonds, who, I 
thought, had been played, and taken by some 
one or other at a very early period of the game, 
suddenly reappears out of my partner's hand, 
as if she were part of a conjuring trick. Second 
hand can't follow suit and can't trump. I think 
I see what he intends me to do here. I 've a 
trump and a small club. *' When in doubt," I 
recollect the infallible rule, * * play a trump. ' ' I 
don't think any one expected this trump. Good 
play. 

Happy Thought — Trump. I look up diffi- 
dently ; my partner laughs, so do the others. 



Bt :fiSovor 251 



My partner's is not a pleasant laugh. I can't 
help asking, ''Why? isn't that right: it's 
ours?" "Oyes," says my partner, sarcasti- 
cally * * it is ours. " ' ' Only, ' ' explains little Bob 
Bnglefield, "you've trumped your partner's 
best card." 

I try again to explain that by my computa- 
tion, the Queen of Diamonds had been played a 
long time ago. My partner won't listen to rea- 
son. He replies, " You might have seen that it 
wasn't." I return, **Well, it couldn't be 
helped, we '11 win the game yet." This I add 
to encourage him, though, if it depends on me^ 
I honestly (to myself) don't think we shall. 

Happy Thought, — After all, we do get the odd 
trick. Stenton ought to be in a better humor, 
but he is n't ; he says, '* The odd ! we ought to 
have been three." Bnglefield asks me how 
honors are ? I don't know. Stenton says, 
'* Why, you (meaning me) had two in your own 
hand." ''O yes, I had." I'd forgotten it. 
"Honors easy," says Stenton to me. I agree 
with him. Now I 've got to score with this 



252 Timbtet mu^cjete 

confounded shilling, sixpence, half-crown, and 
a candlestick. 

Happy Thought. — Ask Bob Bnglefield how 
he scores generally. 

He replies, *'0, the usual way," and as he 
doesn't illustrate his meaning, his reply is of 
no use to me whatever. How can I find out 
without showing them that I don't know ? 

Happy Thought {while Childers deals), -:-Vt^- 
tend to forget to score till next time. Bngle- 
field will have to do it, perhaps, next time, then 
watch Bnglefield. Just as I am arranging my 
cards from right to left — 

Happy Thought. — To alternate the colors 
black and red, beginning this time with black 
(right) as spades are trumps. Also to arrange 
them in their rank and order of precedence. 
Ace on the right, if I 've got one — yes — king 
next, queen next, — and the hand begins to look 
very pretty. I can quite imagine Whist being 
a fascinating game. — Stenton reminds me that 
I 've forgotten to mark " one up." 



m JSovor 253 



Happy Thought. — Put sixpence by itself on 
my left hand. Stenton asks, ''What's that 
for?" 

Happy Thought, — To say it's the way I 
always mark. 

Stenton says, '*0, goon." I look round to 
see what we 're waiting for, and Bnglefield 
answers me, ** Go on, it 'sr you; you're first 
hs^nd." I beg their pardon. I must play some 
card or other and finish arranging my hand 
during the round. Anything will do to begin 
with. Here 's a Two of Spades, a little one, on 
my left hand ; throw him out. 

*' Hallo ! " cries Bnglefield, second hand, 
'' Trumps are coming out early." I quite for- 
got spades were trumps ; that comes from that 
horrid little card being on the left instead of 
the right. 

Happy Thought. — Not to show my mistake ; 
nod at Bnglefield, and intimate that he '11 see 
what 's coming. 

So, by the way, will my partner. In a polite 
moment I accept another cup of tea. I don't 



254 TKHbiet IFlUQ^eta 



want it, and have to put it by the half-crown, 
shilling and candlestick on the whist-table, 
where I'm afraid of knocking it over, and am 
obliged to let it get quite cold as I have to at- 
tend to the game. 

Happening to be taking a spoonful, with my 
eyes anxiously on the cards, when my turn 
comes, Stenton says, ^^ Do play, never mind 
your tea." Whist brutalizes Stenton: what a 
pity ! 

Happy Thought. — Send this game, as a 
problem, to a Sporting Paper. 

Happy Thought. — Why not write generally 
for Sporting papers ? 

Stenton says, ** Do play ! " I do. 

Happy Thought. — Write a Treatise on Whist, 
so as to teach myself the game. 



FINISHING THK RUBBER— NEW GAME— 
CONVERSATION. 

We finish a second game, and Stenton says, 
'* We win a single." This I am to score: 



Bt JBovor 255 



having some vague idea on the subject, I hide 
my half-crown under the candlestick. When 
our adversaries subsequently win a double, 
and there is some dispute about what we 've 
done before, I forget my half-crown under the 
candlestick, until asked rather angrily by 
Stenton if I did n't mark the single, when I am 
reminded by Poss Felmyr that I secreted the 
half-crown. This I produce triumphantly as a 
proof of a single. 

Happy Thought. — Buy Hoyle^s Laws of 
Whist. Every one ought to know how to mark 
up a single and a double. 

I get very tired of whist after the second 
round of the third game. Wish I could feel 
faint, so that Poss Felmyr might take my 
place ; or have a violent fit of sneezing which 
would compel me to leave the room. 

Happy Thought. — If you give your mind to 
it, you can sneeze sometimes. I talk about 
draughts and sneezing, while Knglefield deals. 
Bnglefield says, apropos of sneezing, that he 



256 Wibiet nnggcte • 

knew a man who always caught a severe cold 
whenever he ate a walnut. If a fact : curious. 

Old Mrs. Childers has woke up (she has been 
dozing by the fire with her knitting on the 
ground) and begins *Uo take notice," as they 
say of babies. She zatll talk to me : I can't 
attend to her and trumps at the same time. I 
think she says that she supposes I 've a great 
deal of practice in whist-playing at the clubs. 
I say, **Yes; I mean, beg her pardon, no," 
and Stenton asks me, before taking up the trick, 
if I have n't got a heart, that being the suit I 
had to follow. I reply, " No," and my answer 
appears to disturb the game. On hearts com- 
ing up three hands afterwards, I find a two of 
that suit, which, being sticky, had clung to a 
Knave of Diamonds. 

Happy Thought. — ''Heart clinging to dia- 
monds"; love yielding to the influence of 
wealth ; or, by the way, vice versa, but good 
idea, somehow. Won't say it out, or they 'U 
discover my revoke. 



Bt :fl3ovor 257 



Happy Thought. — Keep the two until the 
end of the game, and throw it down among the 
rubbish at the end. I suppose the last cards 
which players always dash down don't count, 
and mine will go with them unobserved. 

Happy Thought. — One act of duplicity neces- 
sitates another, just as one card will not stand 
upright by itself without another to support it. 
[Put this into ''Moral Inversions," forming 
heading of Chapter 10, Book vi., Vol. xii. of 
Typical Developments. Must note this down 
to-night.] 

The game is finishing. Luckily, our oppo- 
nents have it all their own way, and suddenly, 
much to my surprise and relief, they show their 
hands and win, we only having made one 
trick. 

Happy Thought. — Poss Felmyr takes my 
place. 

On reckoning up I find that somehow or 
other I 've lost half a crown more than I ex- 
pected. You can lose a good deal at vsixpenny 
17 



258 TDmbtet IFlug^ets 

points. Stenton, who hears this remark made 
to Mrs. Childers, observes, ''Depends how you 
play." I do not retort, as I am fearful about 
the subject of revoking coming up. Moral 
Query. — Was w^hat I did with my Two of Hearts 
dishonesty or nervousness ? Would n't it lead 
to cheating, to false dice, and ultimately to the 
Old Bailey? I put these questions to myself 
while eating a delicate piece of bread-and-butter 
handed to me by Mrs. Felmyr. I smile and 
thank her, even while these thoughts are in my 
bosom. Ah, Bob Bnglefield has no such stage 
for his dramas as the human bosom, no curtain 
that hides half as much from the spectators as 
a single-breasted waistcoat. More tea? thank 
you, yes. 

Happy Thought, — Single-breasted waistcoat ! 
Ah, who is single-breasted? Is that the fashion ! 
[Note all this down in cipher in my book, 
"Moral Inversion" chapter, Typical Develop- 
ments. "^ 

I pick up old Mrs. Childers' knitting. I 
take this opportunity of saying, jocosely, that 



Bt :fl3ovor 259 



I suppose that 's what ladies call *' dropping a 
stitch. ' ' No one hears it, except the old lady, 
who does n't understand it. I shall repeat this 
another day when they 're not playing cards, or 
talking together, as the ladies are. 

Happy Thought, — To tell it as one of Sheri- 
dan's good things. Then they 41 laugh. 

Old Mrs. Childers says she thinks the moat 's 
rising, and that the baker will have to come over 
in the punt. Childers, at the table, says : ** Non- 
sense, mother." She appeals to me as to 
whether it is n't damp, and whether the rain 
won't make the moat rise? And do I think, 
from what I 've seen of it, that the punt is safe 
for the baker ? Yes, I do think so. She observes 
that I 'm too young to have rheumatism, or 
suffer from cold in the ears. I don't know why 
I should feel offended at the old lady's remark, 
but I do. I feel inclined to say (rudely, if she 
was n't so old) that I 'm not too young, and have 
had the rheumatics: the latter proudly. She 
dares say I don't remember the flood there was 
in Leicestershire in 1812 ! No, I don't : "War. 



26o Mbist mug^etg 

it bad? " I ask— not that I care, but I like to be 
respectful to old ladies. **Ali!" she replies, 
shaking her head slowly at the fire, as if it was 
its fault, I get nothing more out of her. 

Mrs. Childers is working something for the 
children. Mrs. Poss asks about a peculiar sort 
of trimming for her dress. Mrs. Childers stops 
to explain, and point her remarks with the 
scissors. They are deep in congenial subjects, 
and don't mind me. No more does old Mrs. 
Childers, who has dropped her knitting, and is 
asleep again, quite upright, in her chair. 

Happy Thought. — To ask the ladies to play on 
the piano. 

It will disturb the game, Mrs. Childers thinks. 
Two of the players seem of the same opinion, 
but they 're losing, I discover. The two others 
are smiling, and would like a tune to enliven 
them. Childers calls out " Mother !" loudly, 
which makes the old lad}^ wake with a start, and 
on finding that the moat has not risen and that 
the baker has n't come in the punt (*' which she 
was dreaming of, curious enough," she says), she 



at :ffiowr 261 



begs Mat not to call like that again, and I pick 
up her knitting for her. She thanks me, and 
asks if I recollect the great floods in I^eicester- 
shire in 1812. I reply, as I did before, that I 
don't. It leads to no information. Wonderhow 
old she is ? 

She rises, and thinks, my dears, that it is time 
for Bedfordshire, which is her little joke ; she 
gives it us every night at exactly the same time, 
and in exactly the same manner. It always 
' commands a laugh. The ladies did n't know it 
was so late, and put up their work, hoping I '11 
excuse them not playing this evening. They 're 
afraid I 've found it very dull. 

Happy Thought.— "To say, '' More dull when 
you 're away. ' ' Just stopped in time, and turned 
it off with a laugh and a good night. I must 
have looked as if I was going to say something, 
as Mrs. Poss says, " What? " and I reply, '' Oh, 
nothing," vaguely, and she laughs, and I laugh, 
and Mrs. Childers laughs, and says good night 
laughing, and old Mrs. Childers smiles and 
repeats her joke about Bedfordshire, which she 



252 mbiet nwQCicXB 

evidently thinks we are all still laughing at, 
and this makes us all laugh again, and Stenton 
and Engle field, who, having lost, are fondly 
clinging to the whist-table, laugh as well, and 
saying good night becomes quite a hysterically 
comic piece of work, so much so that I wonder 
we don't all sit down in our chairs, or on the 
carpet (old Mrs. Childers on the carpet !) and 
have convulsions ; and all this because I didnH 
say w^hat I was going to say. They did n't 
laugh when I did make a really good joke this 
evening. 

The ladies have gone. * ' Now, ' ' says Childers, 
*' how about pipes and grogs? " Carried nem. 
con. Kuglefield proposes we stop whist and play 
Bolerum. What is Bolerum ? Does n't any one 
know ? Childers knows, it appears ; he and 
Bnglefield will show it us : and to begin with, 
he and Englefield (this, they say, will simplify 
matters) will keep the bank. 

The game, they explain, is very simple : so it 
appears. In fact its simplicity hardly seems to 
be its great charm to those who do not happen 
to be the bank. The players back their six- 



at :fiSo\>or 263 



pences against the bank, and the bank wins. 
Childers calls it ^* a pretty game." 

**One, two, three, four, — bank wins," cries 
E)nglefield ; '' pay up ! " And we give him six- 
pence apiece. 

"One, two, three, four, five, — bank again," 
cries Childers ; "tizzies round," by which he 
means that we are again to subscribe sixpence 
apiece. Poss says, after five times of this, that 
he doesn't see it. Stenton, the philosopher, 
taking a mathematical view of it, attempts to 
show how many chances there are in the players 
favor, but ends in demonstrating clearly that it 
is at least a hundred to one on the bank each 
time. This argument occupies a quarter of an 
hour, and three pieces of note paper, which 
Stenton covers with algebraic signs. Childers 
still sticks to it, that " it 's a pretty game." We 
admit that it is very pretty, but we get up from 
the table. What game shall we play ? We 
decide (and sixpences are at the bottom of our 
decision), "None." 

"Quite cold," observes Stenton. We gather 
in front of the fire. 



264 WibiBt nnggcts 



Poss suddenly wonders that I 've not yet seen 
the ghost in my room. Childers says **Ah," 
and then we all stare at the fire, wondering at 
nothing : silence. 

Childers turns quietly to Knglefield, and 
inquires, '*if he knows Jimmy Flewter?" 
^nglefield does. Childers asks " if he heard 
about his row with Menzies ? ' ' Bngl efield, with 
his pipe in his mouth, and embracing his knee, 
nods assent. '' It 's settled," says Childers, and 
stares at the fire again. "Foolish of him," 
observes Poss. "Very," says Stenton, in his 
deep bass. It would be rude to ask who Flewter 
is, but this sort of conversation is very irritating. 

Childers anticipates me by saying, "You 
don't know Jimmy Flewter?" I do not, but 
signify I am ready to hear anything to his 
advantage or disadvantage for the sake of 
conversation. 

" Ah, then," returns Childers, " you would n*t 
enjoy the story." 

" Must know the man," puts in Stenton, "to 
enjoy the story." Poss assents, and smiles as if 
at a reminiscence. They all chuckle to them- 



Bt :fi5ovot 265 



selves. I wish I had a story to chuckle over to 
myself. I wish I knew Flewter. 

"Seen my lord, to-day?" asks Knglefield of 
Childers. Wonder who " My lord " is. 

*' No, comes to-morrow," is the answer. 

"Paint?" asks Poss. "Sketch," answers 
Childers. 

" Odd fish," observes Bob Knglefield, putting 
on his spectacles to wind up his watch. ' * Very, ' ' 
says Poss. We knock out our ashes, and, 
finishing our grog, go to bed. 

Happy Thought,— %\i2X\ find out who "My 
lord" is to-morrow. Hang Flewter! Rain, 
violent : no ghost. Room seems darker. Win- 
dow troublesome. Think of Fridoline. Wish 
it was Valentine's Day, 1 'd send her a sonnet. 
Too sleepy to think of it now\ * * * Jimmy 
Flewter. * * * 

F. C. BURNARD. 






< ^^^^^^^^^^'=^^fy^^^^ , 



EDWARD EVERETT AT THE 
COURT OF ST. JAMES * 

A RKCBNT statement that a newly nominated 
**' minister to England did not play any game 
at cards reminded the Easy Chair of a little 
incident which it remembered to have heard 
related by one of the most accomplished of our 
foreign ministers— Edward Everett. Mr. Ever- 
ett's accomplishments were different from those 
of an American minister who w^as once sent to 
the Court of France, and of whom an admiring 
attache remarked, with enthusiasm, that he 
could '' smoke and chew perfectly at the same 
time." Presumptively the same gentleman 
could play an excellent game at whist. But 
this, as Mr. Everett said, was very much more 
* By the courtesy of George William Curtis. 
265 



E^warD JBvcvctt 267 

than he could do. According to the story, Mr. 
Everett was to present his credentials to the 
Queen on the same day with the presentation 
of the Italian Minister, and repaired at the 
proper hour, in the costume of ceremony, to the 
palace, where he found his Italian <:olleague, 
also officiall}' and splendidly arrayed. The 
presentation took place in due form, and the 
ministers having been bidden to dinner, were 
informed by the Prime Minister that the Duchess 
of Kent, the Queen's mother, desired them to 
join her in a game of whist. 

*'I am sorry for either of you who may be 
my partner," said the Prime Minister, smiling, 
as he rose to lead the way to the Duchess, *' for 
I know very little about the game." 

As they passed along, Mr. Everett turned to 
his diplomatic companion, and said, with lofty 
urbanity: "I also must entreat your Excel- 
lency's forbearance if you should have the 
misfortune to be allotted tome as a partner, for 
I have very little practice in the game." The 
Italian Excellency bowed courteously, and 
gravely assured the American Minister that 



268 TObiat Bu^^ets 



the necessity of forbearance was mutu&l, for he 
also had very little acquaintance with the game. 
The Duchess received her guests with all cere- 
mony, and having indicated who was to be her 
partner, the three dignified personages who 
were not very familiar with whist seated them- 
selves, and the game was about to begin, when 
a lady of honor placed herself by the chair of 
the Duchess, who graciously remarked to her 
companions: ''Your Excellencies will excuse 
me, but, to prevent embarrassment to you, I 
have requested this lady to prompt me, as, 
indeed, I am not very familiar with the game." 
The Excellencies bowed profoundly, and the 
ceremonial game of whist proceeded. 

Se non e vero^ ^ ben trovato. Mr. Everett 
had a keen sense of humor, and he said that in 
all his official life he had seen nothing more 
absurd than that game. He was an excellent 
story-teller, and the narrative lost nothing 
in the telling that Washington Irving was one 
of the amused listeners. The recent Con- 
gressional debate upon diplomatic appropri- 
ations revealed the fact that there is a great 



iBDwarD iSvctctt 269 

deal of this kind of dummy whist in diplo- 
matic life, a great deal of playing at playing 
at cards, solemnly and in fine clothes. It is 
perhaps no serious disadvantage to an American 
minister that he is not an accomplished whist- 
player, nor even an expert in simultaneous 
smoking and chewing. The Easy Chair has 
seen in other years an American minister driv- 
ing through the streets of a great city, during a 
festival, with one leg hanging over the side of 
an open carriage, and a cigar protruding from 
his mouth at the familiar Bowery angle. Within 
the range of the same memory another Ameri- 
can minister stood in the balcony of a hotel in 
the costume of the King of the Cannibal Isl- 
ands, haranguing the wondering crowd in the 
street with the tearful pathos of Senator Dil- 
worthy. Still another received two American 
ladies by appointment in his chamber at an inn 
in the morning, wearing his hat, and with a 
half-emptied bottle of whiskey standing upon 
the table. Expressive silence may muse the 
moral. But it is pertinent for the Easy Chair, 
which deals with the minor morals and manners. 



270 mibiet nnQQcte 



to suggest that they should always be reckoned 
as necessary parts of the outfit of every Ameri- 
can minister, as indeed, they conspicuously 
have been in the instance of Mr. Everett him- 
self and some of his illustrious successors. 
Gkorge W11.1.1AM Curtis, 

in ''Editor's Easy Chair,'' Harper^ s 
Monthly Magazine, 





METTERNICH'S WHIST. 

13 B sure, too, that the pursuit of this en- 
*^ chanting game does not tempt you to 
neglect your duties in other respects. Do all 
your work thoroughly before you sit down. 
Without putting the matter upon higher ground, 
there is nothing that injures an honest man's 
game more than the reflection that he has left 
a duty unfulfilled ; his conscience whisks away 
his attention, and his money and his temper 
are then pretty sure to follow. Whist embit- 
tered the death-bed of the great Metternich. 

Fifteen years before his death, that great 
statesman knew little of the wondrous game, as 
full of wiles and stratagems as his own crafty 
mind. 

271 



272 Timblst muQciete 

I was walking with him at that period in a 
gallery of his own house at Vienna, and 
through an open door we perceived some ladies 
of his family playing at whist. 

'* That is a game," remarked he, *'only fit for 
women and fools." 

I smiled and shook my head. 

**I have played whist for fifty years, I tell 
you," continued the prince, a little heated by 
my pantomimic contradiction, '^and I think I 
am capable of forming an opinion." 

'* You have played something for fifty years, 
prince," returned I, pityingly, **but you never 
played whist in your life." 

The astute Austrian was so struck with the 
audacious confidence of my assertion, that he 
submitted to become my pupil in the science. 

I do not say that he surpassed his tutor, for 
that would be gross flattery ; but he very soon 
^^/^learned what he knew, and got to play a 
most admirable game. lie threw himself into 
the new art with his accustomed energy, and 
soon became passionately attached to it. Years 
afterwards an express arrived with despatches 



/IBettcniicb'6 TObi6t 273 

for him from Galicia and found him engaged 
at his favorite game. 

He placed the papers on the mantel-piece 
and went on playing throughout that night and 
far into the morning. When the party broke 
up he was horrified to discover that upon his 
immediate reply depended the fate of two 
thousand persons. 

The infamous *' Galician Massacre " would 

never have taken place if Metternich had not 

loved whist ^^not wisely, but too well.'* 

Chamber's JournaL 
18 




LORD LYTTON AS A WHIST- 
PLAYER. 

T ORD LYTTON was very fond of whist, and 
-■— ' he and I both belonged to the well-known 
Portland Club, in which were to be found many 
of the celebrated players of the day. He never 
showed the slightest disposition of a gambler. 
He played the game well, and without excite- 
ment or temper, and apparently his whole 
attention was concentrated upon it ; but it was 
curious to see that at every interval that oc- 
curred in the rubbers he would rush ofif to a 
writing-table, and with equally concentrated 
attention proceed with some literary work until 
called again to take his place at the whist-table. 
There was a member of the club, a very harm- 
less, inoffensive man, of the name of Townend, 
274 



Xor^ X^tton a6 a Mbietsspla^et 275 

for whom lyord lyytton entertained a mortal 
antipathy, and would never play whist while 
that gentleman was in the room. He firmly 
believed that he brought him bad luck. I was 
witness to what must be termed an odd coinci- 
dence. One afternoon, when Lord I^ytton was 
playing, and had enjoyed an uninterrupted run 
of luck, it suddenly turned, upon which he 
exclaimed, '^ I am sure that Mr. Townend has 
come into the club." Some three minutes 
after, just time enough to ascend the stairs, in 
walked this unlucky personage. lyord Lytton, 
as soon as the rubber was over, left the table 
and did not renew the play. 

SKRJKANI* Bali^anTine'S 
Experiences of a Barrister's Life, 





SOME LITERARY RECOLLEC- 
TIONS.* 

* * * For the last five- and- twenty years of 
my life I have only had three days of consecu- 
tive holiday once a year ; while all the year 
round (from another necessity of the pen) the 
Sundays have been as much working-days with 
me as the week-days. 

Such from -day-to-day labors, though not, it is 
true, extending to long hours, w^ould perhaps 
have been impossible but for the relief afforded 
by some favorite amusement. This, in my case, 
as it has been in that of much greater men, has 
been the noble game of whist, which I have 
played regularly, for two or three hours a day, 
for the last thirty years. It does not, indeed, 
much matter what it is, so that the relaxation is 
an attractive one, but I pity that man from the 
* Bj- permission of Messrs. Harper & Brothers. 
276 



Some Xlterar^ IRecoUectlons 277 

bottom of my heart who can find no interest in 
a game. It is not every one who, like Sarah 
Battle, can relax their minds over a book, and 
least of all those who write books. I have 
noticed that those of my own calling w^ho read 
the most are not the best students of human 
nature, and fall most often into the pit of plagi- 
arism. How often have I heard it said— too 
late — by those who have most certainly earned 
their play -time : ** How I wish I had an amuse- 
ment ! " The taste for such things must be 
caught early (like the •measles) and indulged 
(like the patient). 

What position, for example, is more unsatis- 
factory than that of the man who has only 
played whist occasionally — say once a week — 
and " makes up a rubber to oblige " ? 

In a partner's eyes, at least, such a person 
will never meet his obligations. Mackwortli 
Praed must have been a whist-player, or he 
never could have depicted Quince : 

" Some public principles he had, 
But was no flatterer nor fretter ; 
He rapped his box when things were bad 
And said, * I cannot make them better.' 



278 Wihiet nuQQcte 

And much he loathed the patriots' snort, 
And much he scorned the placeman's snuffle, 

And cut the fiercest quarrel short 
With ' patience, gentlemen, and shuffle.' " 

Men of letters are rarely good card-players — 
I^ord Lytton and Lever are almost the only 
exceptions I can call to mind, — but some of 
them have been fond of whist, and have en- 
livened it by their sallies. A few of these, 
which I have happened myself to hear, seem 
worthy of record. 

A guest being asked to a dinner-party, which 
was to precede an evening at cards, thus apolo- 
gized for coming in morning costume : " The 
suit is surely no matter, so long as one is a 
trump.'* 

A man who had his foot on a gout-rest was 
holding very bad cards, and complaining alike 
of his luck and his malady. Upon being re- 
proached by his more fortunate adversary for 
his irritation, he suddenly exclaimed : ** It 's 
all very well for you, but a ' game hand ' is a 
very different thing from a ' game leg.' " 

On another occasion the same gentleman 
(whose temper, gout or no gout, was always a 



Some ILiterai^ IRecollectiona 279 

little short), jumped up from the seat where he 
had been losing and declared that he would 
play no more. *' But you '11 break up the 
table/* pleaded the others pathetically. "If it 
is broken up there will still be three ' legs * 
left,'* was his uncompromising reply. 

A whist-player, who, even though a loser, 
ought to have known better than to have jested 
upon such a tender subject, once remarked, 
in reference to the considerable number of 
novels for which I have been responsible : 
* ' Nobody can deny, my dear fellow, that you 
have great * numerical strength.' " 

T remember a little poem called Dumby, 

written by a brother novelist, who has himself, 

alas ! left a vacant place at the four-square 

table forever, which has a pathetic singularity 

about it : 

" I see the face of the friend I lost 
Before me as I sit, 
His thin white hands, so subtle and swift, 
And his eyes that gleam with wit. 

** I see him across the square g^reen cloth 
That 's dappled with black and red ; 
Between the luminous globes of light 
I watch the friend long dead. 



280 mbist IRuMcta 

'* It is only I who can see him there, 
With victory in his glance, 
As, the cross ruflf stopped, he strides along 
lyike Wellington through France. 

** He died years past in the jungle reeds, 
But still I see him sit, 
Facing me with his fan of cards, 
And those eyes that beam with wit." 

JAMKS PAYN. 





ANECDOTES FROM CAVENDISH'S 
CARD-TABLE TALK. 



WHBN my book on whist was first pub- 
lished the authorship was kept a profound 
secret. I sent a copy, *' with the author's com- 
pliments,*' to my father, and great was the 
amusement of my brother (who knew all about 
it) and myself at the '* Governor's " guesses as 
to where it could have come from. 

One evening, when about to play a family 
rubber for love, we proposed to the '' Gov- 
ernor '* to play one of the hands in the book, 
*' to see if the fellow knew anything about it." 
He consented. We sorted one of the hands 
(Hand No. xxxvi., p. 246, 12th edition), giving 
my father Y's hand, others of our circle taking 
the other hands, and my brother sitting out 
281 



282 mbiet nnggcte 

book in band, to see whether we followed the 
**book " play. 

The ** Governor" played the hand all right 
till he came to the coup at trick 9, when he 
went on with his established diamonds. 

Frater. (interrupting). — The book says that 
is wrong. 

Pater, — Well, what does the book say ? 

Frater. — The book says you should lead a 
trump. 

Pater, — But there are no more trumps in ! 
(Hesitates, and seeing that he has two trumps, 
and that leading one of them will not do any 
harm, leads it, and then turns round triumph- 
antly and says) : Now w^hat does the book say ? 

Frater (very quietly). — The book says you 
should lead another trump. 

This was too much. I^ead a thirteenth trump 
when you can give your partner a discard ! 
Oh ! no ! So the ^* Governor " would not and 
did not lead the trump, and he scored four. 

We then persuaded him to play the hand 
again, and to lead the thirteenth trump. To 
his surprise he scored five. 



CavenM6b'6 CarD^^^able tTalh 283 

He then admitted it was "very good," but 
could not think who in the world had sent him 
that book. 

Clay told me that when he first played whist 
at a Ivondon club he was horrified to see an old 
gentleman deliberately looking over one of his 
adversaries' hands. Mr. Pacey, the player 
whose hand was overlooked, was, as it hap- 
pened, an old friend of Clay's, and, the rubber 
being over. Clay took an immediate opportunity 
of advising him to hold up his hand when 

playing against P , adding : 

'* The last hand he saw every card you held." 
"Oh ! no ! he did n't ! " replied Mr. Pacey, 

who was well aware of P 's peculiarities, 

" he only saw a few I put in the corner to puzzle 
him." 

Cavendish's Card-Table Talk, 




ADVANTAGE OF SKILL AT 
WHIST. 



IN the latter part of the winter of 1857, during 
^ an after-dinner conversation, it was re- 
marked by some of the party that whist is a 
mere matter of chance, since no amount of 
ingenuity can make a king win an ace, and so 
on. This produced an argument as to the 
merits of the game ; and, as two of the dispu- 
tants obstinately maintained the original posi- 
tion, it was proposed to test their powers by 
matching them against two excellent players 
in the room. To this match, strange to say, 
the bad players agreed, and a date was fixed. 
Before the day arrived it was proposed to play 
the match in double, another rubber of two 
good against two bad players being formed in 
an adjoining room, and the hands being played 
284 



n^vmtngc of Sl^m at 'Mbiet 2S5 

over again, the good players having the cards 
previously held by the bad ones, and vice versa, 
the order of the play being, of course, in every 
other respect preserved. The difficulty now 
was to find two players sufficiently bad for this 
purpose ; but two men were found, on condition 
of having odds laid them at starting, which 
was accordingly done. 

On the appointed day a table was formed in 
room A, and as soon as the first hand was 
played, the cards were re-sorted and conveyed 
into room B. There the hand was played over 
again, the good players in room B having 
the cards that the bad players had in room A. 
At the end of the hand the result was noted for 
comparison, independently of the score, which 
was conducted in the usual way. Thirty-three 
hands were played in each room. In room A 
the good players held very good cards, and won 
four rubbers out of six ; in points, a balance of 
eighteen. In room B the good players had, of 
course, the bad cards. They played seven rub- 
bers, with the same number of hands that in 
the other room had played six, and they won 



286 mbtet IFluggets 

three out of the seven, losing seven points on 
the balance. The difference, therefore, was 
eleven points, or nearly one point a rubber in 
favor of skill. 

A comparison of tricks only showed some 
curious results. In seven of the hands the 
score by cards in each room was the same. In 
eighteen hands the balance of the score by 
cards was in favor of the superior players ; in 
eight hands in favor of the inferior. In one 
of these hands the bad players won two by 
cards at one table, and three by cards at the 
other. 

The most important result is that at both 
tables the superior players gained a majority of 
tricks. In room A they won on the balance 
nineteen by tricks ; in room B they won two 
by tricks. 

It will be observed that this experiment does 
not altogether eliminate luck, as bad play some- 
times succeeds. But by far the greater part of 
luck, viz.y that due to the superiority of win- 
ning cards, is, by the plan described, quite 
got rid of. 



B^vantage of S^ill at Timbl6t 287 

Dr. Pole (the Field, June i6, 1866) arrives at 
nearly the same result by a statistical method. 
He writes to this effect : 

**It is very desirable to ascertain the value 
of skill at whist. 

" The voluntary power we have over results 
at whist is compounded of— i. The system of 
play. — 2. The personal skill employed." 

The modern system, which combines the 
hands of the two partners, as against no system 
(the personal skill of all being pretty equal), is 
worth— Dr. Pole thinks— about half a point a 
rubber, or rather more. About nine hundred 
rubbers played by systematic against old-fash- 
ioned players gave a balance of nearly five 
hundred points in favor of system. 

The personal skill will vary with each indi- 
vidual, and is difficult to estimate ; but, looking 
at published statistics, in which Dr. Pole had 
confidence, he puts the advantage of a very 
superior player (all using system) at about a 
quarter of a point a rubber ; consequently the 
advantage due to combined personal skill (/. e., 
two very skilful against two A^ery unskilful 



288 1imbi0t muggete 

players, all using system), would be more than 
half a point a rubber. 

The conclusion arrived at by Dr. Pole is that 
'' the total advantage of both elements of power 
over results at Whist may, under very favorable 
circumstances, be expected to amount to as 
much as one point per rubber." 

Now, at play-clubs, nearly all the players 
adhere more or less closely to system, and the 
great majority have considerable personal skill. 
Consequently, only the very skilful player can 
expect to win anything, and he will only have 
the best player at the table for a partner, on an 
average, once in three times. It follows from 
this that the expectation of a very skilful player 
at a pla3^-club will only average, at the most 
say a fifth or a sixth of a point a rubber. 

Cav^e^nbish's Card' Table Talk, 




SOME WHIST CHAT. 



A FEW months ago an essay of mine on the 
American card game, poker, appeared in 
these pages. I have been since told by Amer- 
icans, with that frankness which is so engaging 
a quality of theirs, that though I may be able 
to calculate to a nicety the chances of the vari- 
ous poker hands, and those on which the draw- 
ing of fresh cards at poker depends, I should 
be everlastingly beaten if I played at poker in 
America. I think it exceedingly likely, for pok- 
er is not a game at which I have ever played. 
I shall probably escape crushing defeat at the 
game, because I am never likely to play it. It 
is a game expressly invented for betting pur- 
poses, and betting has always seemed to me 
a foolish and degrading habit ; so that I am not 
19 289 



290 TObist IRu^geta 

likely to find myself at the same table with 
American poker-players. Moreover, if news- 
paper notes do them justice, some of the most 
successful exponents of the game in America 
modify their chances by manipulative processes 
which I had not taken into account in my poker 
essay. The chance of a hand with four aces, 
for example, is by no means what is indicated 
in that essay if the dealer is able by dexterity 
of hand to deal himself any cards he may 
please. In the company of ordinary players, 
again, a full hand is doubtless a very good hand 
to stand on, but a man of guileless type would 
be wise not to stand on a hand even of four kings 
if he found a dexterous opponent putting money 
down heavily, lest it should presently appear 
that the four kings had been dealt him specially 
to make him wager freely by an opponent who 
had at the same time dealt himself four aces or 
a straight flush. Such things have been ; and 
it is by no means uncommon in some parts of 
America for a man to lay down with a sigh, a 
hand of four knaves, queens, or kings (face 
downwards be it understood, lest he should be 



Some mbtet Cbat 291 



shot for the implied suspicion, even though four 
aces should lie under the shooter's hand). It is 
even said, I know not with what degree of 
truth, that in some Western States you must 
not be unduly pained if you should find four 
aces beaten by five jacks ; still less must you 
question whether five jacks belong naturally to 
a normal pack. 

What a relief it is to turn from a game like 
poker, associated with greed and lying bluster 
and brag, to the noble game which every Eng- 
lishman loves (though few play it well) — the 
best if not the oldest of card games — whist ! 
It is played indeed for money, as poker is ; but 
with what a difference ! At poker the money is 
everything ; no one would think of playing at 
the game except to win or lose money ; at whist, 
the chief reason why money is staked is that 
the game may be well and truly played. No 
true lover of whist would like to hear such 
stories of money lost and won at whist as are 
told of exciting poker games. The author of 
Guy Livingstone^ in \ns Belle Dame sans Merci, 
introduces a story originally told about the skil- 



292 TOblet 1Flugget0 

ful whist-player James Clay, which seems to im- 
ply that many fortunes have been lost by bad 
whist play. A partner of Clay's had lost a game 
by leading from a plain suit, though holding five 
trumps, one honor. At the close of the hand 
he asked Clay (who loved him not) whether a 
trump lead would not have been wiser. *' It is 
computed," slowly and gravely answered the 
great whist-player, "that eleven thousand men, 
once heirs to fair fortunes, are now wandering 
abroad in a state of destitution because they 
would not lead trumps from five, one honor." 
But either Clay was savage at the foolish play 
of his partner, in which case a man will say 
anything, or he purposely Americanized the 
truth, which, correctly expressed, would have 
been less amusing and effective. For where 
would have been the interest of such a rejoinder 
as this ? ** It is computed that by failing to take 
the chance of a great game which the posses- 
sion of five trumps, one honor gives you and 
your partner, you lose about one point out of 
23tt o^ those which, but for this fault of play, 
you would have made in the course of a sufl&- 



some mbiet Cbat 293 

ciently long run ; supposing 2,318 points lost 
and as many won each year (a very fair allow- 
ance of play), but for this fault, then 2,218 only 
would be won and 2,418 lost, a balance of 200 
to the bad, by a player who committed the 
fault into which you have just fallen, partner. 
At a sovereign each, which is higher play than 
I recommend for neophytes like you, you 
would probably lose ^200 per annum. But 
then (also probably) you would correct the 
fault of play before the year was out. However, 
we must not keep the table waiting. Mr. 
Vincent Flemyng, it is your turn to deal." 

It is singular that, being so fine a game as it 
is, whist should be so little known. I have just 
said, indeed, that every one in England loves 
whist. I should have said that every one loves 
a game which is supposed to be whist. But 
ninety-nine out of a hundred of those who sup- 
pose they play whist hardly know what the game 
is. The game at which they really play has 
been called by the ingenious Pembridge ' ' bum- 
blepuppy." It is a sort of a blunder-blindfold 
game, which must be interesting, I suppose, 



294 Tixablst 1Ru^^et6 

since so many play it. Nay, let us be honest. 
E)ven we who know what whist is (which is by 
no means claiming to play finely) have most of 
us had a period of bumblepuppy. Can we not 
remember how we sat gravely down to what we 
called whist ? When our hands were delivered 
to us, we set down in our minds each ace as a 
card to be led at the first opportunity. We 
had little fear about our kings, for we knew 
that the aces over them would be led out by 
the other players just as frankly as we should 
lead out our own. Bven queens had a fair 
chance. But the single card was our chief de- 
light. That was led out at once, and so our 
little trumps were safely made ; for no one 
would think of leading out trumps while there 
seemed to be a chance of using any in ruffing. 
Somehow, a trick made by ruffing seemed worth 
two made in any other way. If no chance came 
for a ruff, trumps were reserved to the last. But 
even then our game retained its beautiful sim- 
plicity of character. The ace came out first, 
then in due order the king and the queen. To 
have led a small card from ace, queen, and 



Some Mblet Cbat 295 



others, would have seemed wild audacity, which 
might indeed succeed at times, but was too 
imprudent to be encouraged. 

This game, however, the whist of the home 
circle and of Western America (in the Eastern 
States many Americans know true whist "real 
well"), is not whist at all. It owes its interest 
solely to chance. A player of this bumblepuppy 
game, who has been lucky in getting a number 
of good hands, does indeed arrogate to himself 
the character of a good player. He seems to 
regard his luck as something due to personal 
influence. Indeed, oddly enough, while a good 
whist-player, even if, with a good partner, he 
has to play against two bumblepuppy players, 
will never be assured of success, knowing how 
uncertain the chances are, you will generally 
find one of these know-nothings boasting con- 
fidently that he will win. Another way of 
recognizing the whist duffers is by their manner 
when the cards favor them. A good player, 
when he and his partner have made five or six 
by cards, will not be loudly jubilant, though, 
touching on the help received from the cards. 



296 Wibi&t nnggcte 

he may congratulate his partner on some suc- 
cessful stroke of strategy ; but the player of 
bumblepuppy, when he and his partner, having 
all the honors , and five out of six of the re- 
maining high cards, have won the odd trick 
and so made a treble, will say : *' He knew they 
would win," ** He always does win," and other- 
wise take credit for a success which not even 
the skill of a Deschapelles could have managed 
to avert. 

But though domestic whist, or bumblepuppy, 
has " these violent delights" for its exponents, 
it is not a game worth playing or talking about. 

Majora canamus ! 

What is the real game of whist then, the 
reader may ask, if domestic whist is not whist 
at all? Is not the object the same ? No doubt 
it is. The object of whist is to secure as many 
tricks as possible. High cards tell at whist as 
at bumblepuppy (I thank thee, Pembridge, for 
teaching me that word !) Nay, in quite a num- 
ber of hands, luck tells as much at one game 
as at the other, and if the whist player is of 
sordid mind, as many are, he rejoices at the dull 



Some WibiBt Cbat 297 



hands in which he has only had to play out 
winning cards as much as the veriest duffer of 
domestic whist at the way in which aces and 
kings take tricks. But whist is a game of 
science, a game calling for the exercise of keen 
perception, watchfulness, memory, patience and 
trust in the established laws of probability. It 
may sound like exaggeration to say that whist 
is far better calculated to develop the mind than 
many things taught at school, yet many a man 
can perceive a real gain to his mental qualities 
from whist practice, who would find it hard to 
recognize any good which he has obtained from 
learning how to write I^atin verses with due at- 
tention to the niceties of the ccBSura, A course 
of whist play is a capital way of training the 
memory, the powers of attention, and the 
temper ; but nine boys out of ten gain nothing 
from a course of practice in determining the 
greatest common measures and the least com- 
mon multiples of algebraical quantities. 

Indeed, many of our best whist-players are 
complaining that whist is becoming too full of 
points requiring to be noticed and kept in the 



298 Timbt6t IRu^^ets 

memory. A system has come into existence 
within the last thirty or forty years by which a 
player can convey information to his partner in 
various ways ; and it is urged that instead of 
giving their minds to points of whist strategy, 
players now^ have to be constantly looking out 
for this signal or that indication. Many of the 
old players determine to have nothing to do with 
all this signalling ; but, alas for them ! they 
have no choice. It is too strong for them. 
Though they may never signal themselves ; 
though they may resolutely decline to respond 
to any signal made by their partner, they must 
notice the signals alike of their partner and of 
the adversaries, or all sorts of disasters will hap- 
pen, for which their partners will properly hold 
them responsible. Thus, a plaj^er signals for 
trumps, and presently his partner responds by 
leading him a trump. Suppose now one of the 
other players has failed to notice the signal. 
He falls naturally into the mistake of supposing 
that the player who has led trumps is strong in 
them and that the other adversary is presum- 
ably weak. Under this mistake he presently 



Some Mblst Cbat 299 

forces what tie supposes to be the strong trump 
hand, but in reality enables the weak hand to 
make trumps which would otherwise have fallen 
idle. Or, on the other hand, having a chance 
of forcing the strong trump hand, the player 
who has failed to notice the signal refrains 
religiously from doing so, imagining that he 
would be helping the enemy instead of cutting 
down his trump strength. Under these circum- 
stances, partner, if of the reproachful sort, can 
rebuke much more effectively than where his 
own signal has merely been revoked. To the 
reproach, ** Why did you not lead me a trump 
when I signalled?" there is always the ready 
answer, ''I saw your signal, and I declined to 
respond to it, because I object to the signalling 
S3^stem." But what answer can be made when 
your partner says, " My good sir, you played the 
enemy's game? there was Y signalling for 
trumps, and you deliberately forced Z, giving 
him just the trick which made their game ; or 
you failed to force Y, though that was the only 
way to save our game." You cannot answer 
that you saw the signal, but preferred to sacri- 



300 TDOlblet IRuQ^eta 

fice the game rather than act upon it. You are 
obliged to tell the truth (and what could be 
more painful?) that you had failed to notice 
the enemy's signal. 

Whist — the real game of whist, I mean — de- 
rives its interest entirely from strategy, by 
which either tricks are made by cards which 
would not, but for such strategy, have power to 
take those tricks, or by which the plans of the 
adversaries to achieve such ends are detected 
and foiled. Tricks may be made by high cards, 
but there is no interest in that. Any one can 
take a trick with the ace of trumps. Tricks 
may be made by finesse — that is, by playing, 
instead of the best card, a lower card, which 
may or may not take the trick according as the 
intermediate card or cards lie to the right or 
left. This is better ; but the finesse pure and 
simple is a matter of mere chance, and so far as 
the actual gain of a trick is concerned there is 
no more scientific joy in the success of a finesse 
than in the capture of a trick by a high card. 
There is science in the finesse ; but the scien- 
tific interest does not depend on the direct sue- 



Some Wibiet Cbat 301 

cess or failure of the finesse at the moment, 
but on its bearing upon the general play of the 
hand. Again, tricks may be made by trumping 
winning cards of plain suits. There is often 
good science in bringing this about properly, 
not by the coarse lead of a single card or from 
a two-card suit, but by so arranging matters 
that the ruff, when made, shall not impair, but 
utilize the trump strength which lies between 
you and your partner. Special pleasure is there 
in the cross-ruff when ingeniously secured and 
properly employed ; still more pleasure in 
tempting the enemy to a cross-ruff, which, while 
not lasting long enough to give them more than 
three or four tricks, just destroys their superior 
trump strength. But the great delight of whist 
strategy lies in the manoeuvres by which small 
cards are made to conquer large ones, as when 
a long suit is successfully brought in, or the 
enemy forced by skilful strategy to lead up to 
a tenace. Nor is there less pleasure in noting 
and foiling the plans of the adversary for achiev- 
ing these same ends. Nay, to the true player 
there ought to be pleasure even in noting the 



302 TKIlbist IFluggete 



skill by which the enemy achieves success ; but 
I fear me this is more than most players of whist 
attain to, however earnest may be their whist 
enthusiasm. 

Of course chance has its part even in scien- 
tific whist. In playing 30,000 rubbers one af 
the finest living players of the game lost 
nearly 15,000, gaining only a balance of about 
600 rubbers. Among the thousands of rub- 
bers, a goodly proportion must have been lost 
against bad play and by the sheer influence of 
cards, that is, of chance. There must be some 
villainous whist-players living who can boast 
that they have played several rubbers against 
this fine player and won every rubber they 
played. Then, again, there is such a thing as 
good cards being beaten by sheer bad luck. 
Thus, there is that famous hand in which the 
Duke of Cumberland held ace, king, queen, 
and knave, in one plain suit ; ace, king, queen in 
another ; ace, king, in the third ; while in trumps 
he held king, knave, nine, and seven ; yet with 
this perfectly magnificent hand and the lead, 
leading also quite correctly, he did not make a 



Some Mbist Cbat 303 

single trick. Yet, although chance thus plays 
an important part in whist, and is, indeed, re- 
garded by many as the element which gives to 
whist its great interest, the game even in its ' 
partial dependence on chance is a scientific 
one. Only science can answer the questions 
which the chance element introduces. Only 
science can avail to get the best results which 
the different components of the hands leave 
open to a player and his partner. When to 
scientific acumen are added a good memory, a 
careful and attentive mind, readiness in obser- 
vation, brilliance of conception and aptitude in 
execution, we get the elements of fine play. 
But it is not true of the whist-player that he is 
born, not made. Practice alone can combine 
these elements to form a really fine player. 

Chance, indeed, in whist causes good play 
often to fail and bad play to succeed. This is 
little understood by bad players. They judge 
only by immediate results, and if a sound rule 
leads to disaster, as must inevitably happen in 
a certain proportion of cases to which it is 
applied, they vow that the rule is a bad one, 



304 WibiBt 'UWQQCte 

and are apt thenceforth to follow the unsound 
converse rule. For instance, it may be shown 
that in a majority of cases leading a small card 
* from ace, three small ones, will be successful, 
the ace taking the second trick and the two 
first tricks going far to clear the suit. But 
sometimes this sound lead turns out badly. 
Your partner holds, perhaps, the queen, fourth 
player the fourchette to the queen — i.e., knave, 
king ; the first trick falls to the king, your ace 
is trumped second round and when trumps are 
exhausted the holder of the knave is found to 
have two more of the suit, both of which he 
makes, besides the knave (and the king which 
he had made the first round) or four tricks in 
the suit, besides the trick made by the ruff on 
your ace. This is rough on the sound lead, and 
some players can never forget such a contre- 
temps. They forthwith adopt the system of 
leading the ace first from a suit of four to the 
ace. Now, in this case, there is really some- 
thing to be said in favor of the ace lead, which 
is adopted on the Continent. The balance of 
advantages in favor of the small card lead is 



Some TlXIlbi0t Gbat 305 

not heavy. Still the odds are in its favor. 
Now, suppose there were a teetotum with 
eleven faces, six marked with an A, five with a 
Z, and a small bet depended on the selection of 
the face which would come uppermost. Any- 
one who wagered on the A systematically 
w^ould be bound to win in the long run of many 
trials. If there were i, loo trials he would be 
right about? 600 times and wrong about 500 
times, or would gain about 100 times the 
amount of his wager. In 11,000 trials he 
would be still more certain that he would win 
his wager by about one-eleventh of the total 
number of trials. Yet he would lose a number 
of times. It would often happen that he would 
lose ten or twelve times in succession. If he 
had been assured that the rule ^iven to him 
was a sound one, but had not been allowed to 
look at the teetotum, and it so chanced that his 
first ten trials were all, or most of them unfa- 
vorable, it would be natural for him to begin to 
doubt whether the rule were really sound. 
But if the teetotum were shown to him, and he 
found there were six A faces to only five B 



3o6 TObist IRugciets 

faces, with an equal chance of any one of 
these faces showing, he would certainly be 
unwise to give up the sound A selection and 
adopt the unsound Z selection merely because 
it had happened that a few chance trials had 
given results unfavorable to the better choice. 
Now this is precisely what those whist play- 
ers do who reject sound for unsound play, 
because sound play has occasionally turned out 
badly. 

But, of course, it must happen in a certain 
proportion of cases that the right lead turns out 
unluckily. In two cases out of three the king 
falls to the enemy's ace, and the short-sighted 
seeing no farther, thinks this proves the lead to 
be bad. But even in the further play of the suit 
the result may be unfortunate. From a rough 
computation which I have made, I find reason 
to conclude that leading king from king, queen, 
and two others turns out well in about five cases 
out of nine. If my computation is right (the 
difficulty lies in taking into account the multi- 
tudinous varieties of arrangement outside the 
suit), then the lead turns out ill in four cases 



Some TlGlbtet Gbat 307 



out of nine. Depend upon it, cavillers will pay 
much more attention to those four ninths of all 
the cases in which the lead fails than to the 
cases, though twenty-five per cent, more num- 
erous, in which the lead turns out well. But, 
of course, the sound whist-player systematically 
adopts the lead which will turn out well in the 
majority of cases ; he would do so even though 
the odds in his favor were not more than loi 
to 100. 

In the course of the reasoning just given, I 
have touched on the chance that a suit will go 
round such and such a number of times. Most 
of the rules for leading at whist depend on 
this particular chance, the calculation of which 
is easy enough, so far as principles are con- 
cerned, though laborious in practice. The 
whist-player cannot conveniently run through 
these calculations while the rest of the table 
wait for him to play. But rules of play, based 
either upon calculation or on long practice 
leading to the same conclusions, should be 
adopted systematically, as bound to be best in 
the long run. Of course, circumstances alter 



3o8 Wibiet nnggctB 

cases. Among the forty games I have collected 
in How to Play Whist, there is one in which 
that fine player, Mr. F. G. I^ewis, ran counter 
to two rules in the very first card he played (the 
opening lead) : having five trumps, he did not 
lead a trump, and leading from a plain suit of 
five cards headed by the ace he led the lowest 
but one (the customary lead when the suit is 
not headed by the ace) instead of the ace, the 
usual and generally the best lead. But that 
was because a higher rule overrode both those 
other rules — viz., the rule that you should play 
to win. 

I proceed to state some of the chances of par- 
ticular arrangements of the cards in a particular 
hand, or of the cards of any suits in diflferent 
hands. I shall not, as I did in my essay on 
poker, indicate the reasoning by which the 
various results have been obtained, for that 
reasoning was found rather difficult by those 
unacquainted with the methods of calculation 
considered, while those acquainted with the 
laws of combination can reason out the matter, 
I have no doubt, for themselves. 



Some TOblat Cbat 309 



SOm:e of the chances of whisi^. 

There are no less than 635,013,559,600 ways 
in which a hand can be made. That all the 
cards in the hand may be trumps (the dealer's 
of course, must be taken), the chance is but one 
in 158,753,389,900 (one fourth of the number 
just mentioned). A few years ago (see " Whist 
Whittling," in How to Play Whist, pp. 190, 
191) two cases of the kind were recorded, and 
many seemed to suppose that there must be 
something wrong in the mathematical compu- 
tation of the chance. For, they said, in 158,- 
753,389,900 cases only one would give this 
particular hand, and yet two cases occurred 
.within a few years of each other, within which 
time so many hands could not possibly have 
been dealt. Now there was here, at starting, 
the fallacy that because but one case in so many 
is favorable, so many trials must be made to 
give an even chance of the event occurring. As 
a matter of fact, a much smaller number of 
trials is necessary to give an even chance. Take 
a simple case — the tossing of a coin. Here 



310 TObiat mu^gets 



there are two possible results, but it does not 
take two trials to give an even chance of tossing 
head — one trial suffices for that ; and the chance 
of tossing head once at least in two trials 
instead of being one half is three fourths ; the 
odds are not even, but three to one in favor of 
tossing a head. In like manner, if 158,753,389,- 
900 hands were dealt, the odds are not even, but 
largely in favor of a hand of thirteen trumps 
being among them. Moreover, if the odds were 
shown to be ten or even twenty to one against 
the event occurring in a much smaller given 
number of trials, yet there is nothing very sur- 
prising in an event occurring when the odds 
against it are ten or twenty to one. But large 
though the number just mentioned may seem, 
the number of whist-players is also large. It 
would not be much out of the way to suppose 
that among all the whist-playing nations of the 
earth a million whist parties play per diem^ and 
to each we may fairly assign twenty deals. On 
this assumption it would require only 7,950 days 
or not much more than twenty years, to give 
159,000,000,000 trials, or much more than an 



Some Wibiet Gbat 311 

even chance of the remarkable hand in question. 
Then, too, there are cases where the trumps are 
more likely to be distributed to one hand than 
if the distribution were absolutely at random. 
Thus suppose a cross-ruff has been established 
in a game, and five or six tricks taken that way ; 
then it can readily happen that the five or six 
trumps which have thus fallen take the same 
position in each of the five or six tricks gath- 
ered by the same player. Suppose such a thing 
to happen, with five trumps only, once in a thou- 
sand games. Then it can be shown that the 
chance of the remaining cards of that suit all 
falling into the same hand is one in 2,629,575, 
making the chance of both events coming off, 
and all thirteen cards falling into one hand, one 
in 2,629,575,0a), or the odds only 2,629,574,999 
to I (instead of 158,753,389,899 to i) against all 
thirteen trumps being in one hand. I^arge even 
as these odds are, the real odds must be much 
larger ; otherwise, with the great number of 
whist hands constantly being dealt, we should 
bear of all-trump hands two or three times a 
year at least. 



3ia TObtat IRu^^eta 

Turn now from this very rare hand to the ar- 
rangements which occur most frequently. It 
then might seem as though the commonest of 
all arrangements would be the one by which the 
cards are distributed most uniformly among the 
suits — /. e., four of one suit, and three of each of 
the other suits. But this is not the case. In 
one sense, indeed, this is the commonest kind 
of hand. If you take a given suit — say clubs, for 
the four-card suit — then there are 16,726,464,040 
possible arrangements, giving four clubs, three 
hearts, three diamonds and three spades ; and 
there are not so many arrangements for any 
hand in which each particular suit is assigned 
a particular number of cards. But as the four- 
card suit can be chosen in four different ways, 
we get 66,905,856,160 possible arrangements of 
a hand with four of one suit and three of each 
of the others. Now, taking a hand with four 
of each of two suits, three of another, and two 
of the fourth suit, we find that if we assign defi- 
nite suits for the three cards and for the two 
cards — say we have three hearts and two dia- 
monds in each hand — there are only 11,404,- 



Some Timbtet Gbat 313 



407,300 possible arrangements giving four clubs, 
three hearts, three spades and two diamonds. 
This is considerably less than the number giv- 
ing four clubs, three hearts, three spades, and 
three diamonds, to which, as a special arrange- 
ment for those suits, it comes next in frequency. 
But, instead of having only four ways in which 
to distribute our suits, we now have twelve. 
We can have any one of the four suits for our 
two-card suit, and combine with any one of the 
three remaining suits for our three-card suit, 
giving four times three, or twelve, possible ways 
of distributing the suits. Thus we have twelve 
times the above number, or 136,852,887,600 dif- 
ferent arrangements of the cards in a hand giv- 
ing two of one suit, three of another, and four 
of each of the two remaining suits. This is of 
all arrangements the commonest. Out of any 
large number of hands dealt to any one in a 
long course of whist-play more than a fifth, or 
more exactly 342,132,219 out of 1,587,533,899, 
will be hands containing two four-card suits, a 
three-card suit and a two-card suit. 

Next in frequency come hands containing 



314 Mbi6t 1Flu5aet6 

one five-card suit, two three-card suits and one 
two-card suit. Of these there are in all 98,534,- 
079,072, or, roughly, about three hands in twenty 
are of this kind. Given the suits, which are to 
have five cards and two cards, there are 8,211,- 
1 73*256 possible arrangements ; but each can 
be taken twelve different ways by distributing 
the suits. 

The third kind of hand in order of frequency 
is one containing five of one suit, four of an- 
other, three of a third, and one of the fourth. 
Of such hands there are in all 82,111,732,560; 
rather more than one hand in eight is of this 
kind. But when the suits are given to which 
these several members are to be assigned, we 
find a very much smaller number of possible ar- 
rangements than in the preceding or even than 
in the next case. For the largeness of the num- 
ber just mentioned arises from the circumstance 
that as each suit has a different number of 
cards, we can distribute the suits in twenty-four 
instead of twelve different ways (as in each of 
the last two cases). Thus we can have any one 
of the four suits for the five-card suit, and com- 



Some Mblat Gbat 315 

bine each of these four with any one of the 
remaining three suits for the four-card suit, giv- 
ing twelve combinations, each of which can be 
combined with two arrangements of the remain- 
ing suits as the three-card and one-card suits, 
giving twenty-four combinations in all. Thus 
the number of possible arrangements, when the 
suits are assigned beforehand to the several 
numbers, is only one twenty-fourth of the num- 
ber just mentioned, or 3,421,322,190. 

The hand coming fourth in order of frequency 
is one containing one five-card suit, one four- 
card suit, and two two-card suits. Of such 
hands there are 67,182,336,640, or about two 
hands in nineteen are of this kind. But as 
there are only twelve ways in which the suits 
can be distributed, we have only to divide this 
number by twelve instead of by twenty-four, as 
in the preceding case, to give the number of 
arrangements when the suits are assigned. We 
thus get 5,598,527,220 arrangements, a consid- 
erably larger number than in the preceding case. 

Only fifth in order of frequency comes the 
hand which many suppose the most frequent. 



3i6 TKIlblet mu50et6 



viz.y the hand of greatest uniformity of distri- 
bution, already considered. The total number 
of such hands, 66,905,856,160, is very near to 
the number in the last case ; but the number of 
arrangements when the several suits are as- 
signed is very much greater, being no less than 
16,726,464,040. 

Here we may stop, noting only that the sixth 
hand in order of frequency, with a six-card 
suit, a three-card suit and two two-card suits, 
comes very far behind the fifth, its number being 
only 35,830,574,208, or little more than half the 
number for a four, three, three, three hand. In 
How to Play Whist ^ the numbers for all possi- 
ble arrangements of hands are given (p. 196). 

But now we should notice that the numbers 
of ways in which the thirteen cards of a hand 
may be distributed among the four suits are 
also the numbers of ways in which the thirteen 
cards of a suit may be distributed among the 
four hands. We see, then, that the most prob- 
able arrangement is that there will be four cards 
of the suit in each of two hands, three in an- 
other hand, two in the fourth. The next most 



Some Timbtet Gbat 317 

probable arrangement is that there will be five 
cards of the suit in one hand, three in each of 
two other hands, and two in the fourth ; and so 
on, precisely (so far as numerical statistics are 
concerned) as in the corresponding cases con- 
sidered above with regard to the distribution of 
cards in a suit. Only fifth in order of frequency 
comes the case of what is familiarly called *'an 
honest suit" — that is, a suit which will go 
round three times. It is more than four and 
one third times as likely that at least five of a 
suit will be in one hand (corresponding to the 
second, third, and fourth cases considered above, 
and to seven other cases of less frequency, down 
to the case of eight cards of the suit in one hand 
and five in another) as that there will not 
be less than three of the suit in each hand. 
The chance even that no hand will hold more 
than four of the suit is less than the chance 
that there will be five cards in one hand at 
least. There are about thirteen cases of the 
former kind to seventeen of the latter. 

If any one holds four of a suit, the chance 
that the suit will go round three times h: about 



3i8 TObi6t niXQQCtS 

149 to 1,000. But this is not (as has been incor- 
rectly stated of late) the chance that the suit 
will escape ruffing third round ; for that will 
happen even though the suit does not go around 
thrice, if partner holds the short suit. A suit, 
of which the original leader holds four, will es- 
cape ruffing by the enemy, if partners hold two, 
and the adversaries four and three, if partner 
holds one and the adversaries five and three, or 
four and four ; and lastly, if partner holds none 
and the adversaries five and four or six and 
three. The chance is one third in each case 
that it is partner and not one of the adversaries 
who holds the short suit. 

One other case may be considered. Nearly 
every one who has played whist much must 
have had at times a Yarborough hand — that is, 
a hand in which there is no card above a nine. 
Pembridge says he has held three of these hands 
in the course of two hours ; but this is, of course, 
altogether unusual. The name given to a hand 
of this sort is derived from a certain Lord Yar- 
borough, who used to offer the attractive but 
really very safe wager of ^1,000 to £1, that a 



Some Wibiet Cbat 319 

hand of this sort would not be dealt. If Lord 
Yarborough had not calculated the chances (or 
had them calculated for him) he acted with 
little wisdom in betting at all on such a matter ; 
but if he knew them he acted with little fair- 
ness in offering the odds he did. It will be found 
that one hand in about 1,828 is a Yarborough, 
so that lyord Yarborough ought to have wagered 
;^i,827 to ;^i, instead of ^1,000 to j^i. It is said 
that he laid this wager many thousands of times. 
Supposing he offered ^1,000 to ;^i, to each 
member of a whist party, for ten deals, on about 
ninety-one or ninety-two nights, in each of ten 
years, making in all about 36,560 wagers — i. e,, 
twenty times 1,828 — he would have lost about 
twenty times, or ;^2o,ooo, and won about ;^36,- 
500, making a clear profit of about ;^i6,5oo, or 
;^i,65o per annum, by this seemingly reckless 
system of wagering. 

An instance, lastly, is on record of a hand 
containing four twos, four threes, four fours 
and one five. Any one holding such a hand 
might well believe himself especially selected 
for punishment by the deities or demons^ who- 



320 Wibiet 'UnggclB 

ever they may be, who preside over the for- 
tunes of whist-pla^^ers. Yet such a hand is 
bound to occur from time to time, when so 
many play whist. The chance of holding such 
a hand is, in fact, exactly the same as the chance 
of holding all the trumps, z^lz., one in 158,753,- 
389,000. For there are only four possible ways 
in which such a hand can be made up. It must 
hold the twelve lowest cards in the pack, and 
one five, which may be of any of the four suits ; 
hence there are four hands having no card 
higher than a five out of 635,013,559,600, or one 
chance of such a hand in 158,753,389,090. Yet 
I have no manner of doubt — so foolish are men 
in regard to betting — that if a Lord Yarborough 
of to-day were to offer ;^io,ooo to £1 (instead 
of ;^i58,753,389,ooo to i) against the occur- 
rence of such a hand he would find many 

':akers. 

R. A. Proctor, 
in Longman'' s Magazine^ 

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